NOTE: This is a prequel to "Turning the Corner", and if it comes out a tenth as well as when it was in my head I'll be very happy indeed.
WARNING: Angst ahead.
*****
Love Without End
Don Bentley
Tara Rosenberg leaned against the bathroom counter and struggled to hold back her tears.
Not yet, she pleaded with herself. Not yet.
She looked at herself in the mirror; all gray hair and wrinkles, an old woman done up like a bloody Christmas tree in a bright purple blouse and skirt. She wanted to tear it off and wear something sombre and sad. Something more appropriate.
Instead she adjusted her collar and smiled at the memory. Willow had picked it out for her only last year as a birthday gift.
"Like the poem, remember?" she had asked as Tara modeled it for her.
When I am old I shall wear purple-
"Mom?"
"In here, sweetheart."
Alexander Daniel Rosenberg gathered his much smaller mother up in his arms and hugged her tight as he delivered a kiss to her cheek.
"'Sweetheart'? You haven't called me that in years," Alex said with a smile. It was a very sad smile.
"I'm sorry, Alex," she apologized.
"Don't be Mom, it's okay. I kinda feel like I'm ten right now," his hair was turning gray at the temples and his eldest daughter had just made him a grandfather.
"You too?"
"Me too."
They stood like that for a few moments. Tara sheltering in her son's arms, just as he used to shelter in hers whenever he needed a mother's shield against life's chaos. Whenever he needed the world to go away for a bit.
*****
The curtains were drawn tight against the light that triggered her crippling headaches, and the room was overly warm, the bed piled high with comforters against the cold she felt deep inside her limbs.
Willow Rosenberg smiled at her wife and son as they entered the bedroom. Alex lay down on her right side and gathered her into a tender hug, taking care not to disturb the last remaining IV tube as he kissed her.
She was a fragile ghost of her once vibrant self. Always a tiny
woman, she was terribly slim as the illness reached its course, her incandescent
red hair now gray and thinning, and her skin sallow and drawn tight across
her face. But for all that her eyes still burned bright, and her
face quick to smile.
"Emily and the girls.... They- they send their love, Mom."
"My great granddaughter?" her voice was weak and dry, like the faint rustle of autumn leaves as they fell.
"Little Willow's doing just fine. Still keeping Heather and Jim awake all night though."
"Serves Heather right, she did the same to you and-"
A series of dry hacking coughs shook her frail body. Alex hugged her as tight as he dared while his mom gave her a sip of water. His vision blurred and burned with tears.
A tiny hand caressed his cheek.
"Hey, no tears."
"Mom, I can't- I can't help it. I- I...." he finished lamely. The decision wasn't his and, as hard as all of this was, it was- It was still the right one. It was what his mother wanted.
But you can't leave me, he pleaded silently. In his heart his soul shouted defiance up at the sky.
You can't do this to her! I won't let you take her!
Please, just for a little while longer.
...please....
Another series of coughs shook her and forced a small moan of protest past thin pale lips.
"Mom, I love you, I love you, I love you..." he whispered the words over and over again suddenly desperate to make up for all the times he hadn't said it in the past.
"Alex, shhhh. Sweetheart, no, don't. I know. I knew when I first held you, and I know now, I've always known. You're a good son, a fine husband and father, and I'm proud of you, Alex. Shhhh, sweetheart, I love you."
The effort of even that short a speech exhausted Willow, and mother and son lay together in each other's arms. Tara settled beside Willow and together she and Alex cradled her between them.
Finally, Alex kissed his moms on the cheek in turn and whispered an "I love you" to them before rising and leaving the bedroom.
He had wanted to stay. Had thought that he wanted to stay to the.... To the end. But he didn't want to intrude- No, not intrude, that was the wrong word for family. Inhibit, that would have to do. He didn't want to inhibit them. They were his parents surely, but the two of them needed this one last time to be the lovers they still were after all these years.
Alex held on until the door closed behind him. Sitting at the top of the stairs he cried without restraint until his mom came out to take him into her arms and, for a while at least, made the world go away.
*****
After the door had closed behind their son, Tara rose and retrieved the small white plastic box from the IV stand beside the bed. Palm sized, it had a single blue button beneath a key slot, and a cable that ran to the slightly larger unit atop the stand.
Willow held out the key that the doctor had given her earlier that morning. Tara took it from her and, holding it to the slot, placed Willow's hand on hers. With surprising strength Willow pushed and twisted the key into place, and, unaided, stabbed the bright blue button.
Dropping the control unit to the floor, Tara rejoined Willow on their bed and hugged her tight as she began to weep.
"Hey, no tears," protested Willow.
"Right, you actually thought-"
"I, I hoped. I'm sorry, Tara, but I can't-"
"I love you, Willow Rosenberg," interrupted Tara. She did not want to rehash their discussions, not now. She understood, and, God help her, agreed with Willow's decision and the reasons.
But it wasn't going to be the last thing they talked about.
"When I first saw you at the Wicca group I knew you were mine."
Willow laughed a small loving laugh. "You always were smarter than me."
"I- I can't thank you enough, my love. For everything, for being my friend, my lover, my wife, the mother of my son. For giving me this life with you," she took Willow's hand in hers.
"Me too. All those things, me too," Willow smiled and lifted her head off the pillows for a kiss. "I want a snuggle."
*****
The light washed over her, bathing her, and warming her. For the first time in well over a year Willow was truly warm, and she didn't have to squint against the soft yellow light. Willow raised her face to the light and smiled.
She squeezed Tara's hand with a strong grip that she could feel being returned. Willow intertwined her fingers with Tara's and thought,
'I love you.'
From beside her, strong and loving, came Tara's reply. 'I love you.'
Willow's joy overflowed as laughter, bright and breezy laughter that was almost immediately answered from within the light.
"Tara," she called over her shoulder. "Look, its-
Love without end has no end.
English proverb
('Without end' meant without ulterior motive.)