She went straight to the NICU I got to see her for about 30 seconds before they took her away. I was crying uncontrollably and wanted her back inside of me so bad. I pryed harder than I have ever prayed that she would live. We were able to go up to the NICU and see her about 2 hours later. She was so tiny but the love I felt was so huge. I just wanted to pick her up and run out of that place but I knew I couldn't. She was stable and the nurses reassured us that she was doing fine but I still insisted that they baptize her just in case so we waited for the chaplin. After she was babtized we stayed for a while longer and then I went back to my room and tried to sleep. The next morning I was released. I went to check on Emmalee she was still doing fine. I decided that I needed to go get a breast pump, and change my clothes so we left the hospital for a couple of hours.  When we had returned she was stable so we just sat there and watched her trying to imagine what her eyes looked like as they were still fused shut. When we returned to the NICU on Aug 14/03 the neonatologist had ordered a head ultrsound he thought that there may be a small amount of blood in her head. The ultrasound came back as a yes she already had a Grade I bleed but there was still hope of recovery she would have some residual effect but nothing serious yet. We were told to wait and see. We prayed and prayed and cried and prayed. We couldn't hold her or touch her because it caused her so much pain. My arms ached so badly that when I got home from the hospital all I could do was cry and rock myself in what was supposed to be Emmalee's room. .

We got to the hospital the next morning (Aug 15/03). They were going to do another ultrasound to see if there had been more bleeding or if it had stopped. It hadn't she was now a Grade II some serious brain damage but still a chance she might pull through. So we continued on hoping and praying. But by the next afternoon she was a Grade III bleed terminal. We were given no more hope. I called my parents who had taken our older children on vacation they were half way across the country. I asked my parents to return and bring my boys as fast as they could. I then asked if the neonatology team would do everything in their power to help Emmalee sustain her life until her brothers could say hello/goodbye. They agreed to give her the minimal support but would not give her any extras that would be up to her and god. I sat beside her bed and prayed, I asked her to please hang on, and then I sang to her. I hardly left her bedside for the next couple of days I had to get as much of her as I could because she was leaving and I knew it. I was saying goodbye. My parents arrived at 1 in the morning on Aug 19/03 they came straight to the Hospital with my sons. They all  looked pretty rough. My dad had drove straight through with only 4 hours sleep since I had called him to come. The boys spent a little time with her looking and talking. We decided to try and get some sleep and we would take her off the vent in the morning. We had stayed in the Hospital in a special suite for parents since we had gotten the news. So when she started to go down hill we could be there. We got a call to our room shortly after six she wasn't doing well. Our baby was dying she was ready. Chad got to hold her, we called mom and dad to bring in our youngest (the oldest had stayed with us). Just a few minutes to seven Cahd told her she could go and just like that she did within a couple of minutes she had joined Jesus.