Beer and alcohol thoughts

Thought on Beer and Drinking

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline; it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or
some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
--Frank Zappa

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
--Ernest Hemmingway

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
--Winston Churchill

He was a wise man who invented wine.
--Plato

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--Catherine Zandonella

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
--W.C. Fields

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
--His reply

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
--David Daye

Work is the curse of the drinking class.
--Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a
fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
--Humphrey Bogart

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
--David Moulton

People who drink light beer don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
--Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
--Kaiser Welhelm

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
--Homer Simpson

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
--Dave Barry

I drink to make other people interesting.
--George Jean Nathan

They who drink beer will think beer.
--Washington Irving

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
--For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
--Dean Martin

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
--Homer Simpson

Eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart. —Ecclesiastes 9:10

When money's tight and hard to get and your horse is also ran, When all you have is a heap of debt a pint of plain is your only man. --Old Irish toast

Man's way to God is with beer in hand. --Koffyar Tribal Wisdom, Nigeria

But if at church they give some ale And a pleasant fire for our souls to regale We'd sing and we'd pray all the live long day Nor ever once from the church to stray. Beer drinkin' don't do half the harm of love makin'. --Old New England proverb

Mother's in the kitchen washing out the jugs, Sister's in the pantry bottling the suds, Father's in the cellar mixin' up the hops, Johnny's on the front porch watchin' for the cops. --Prohibition song

Why, we'll smoke and drink our beer. For I like a drop of good beer, I does. I'ze fond of good beer, I is. Let gentlemen fine sit down to their wine. But we'll all of us here stick to our beer.
--Old Somersetshire English song

Drink is the feast of reason and the flow of soul. --Alexander Pope

I've always believed that paradise will have my favorite beer on tap. --Rudyard Wheatley

Here's a toast to the roast that good fellowship lends, With the sparkle of beer and wine; May its sentiment always be deeper, my friends, Than the foam at the top of the stein. Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around. --Ogden Nash

A mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer. --Ancient Egyptian Wisdom, 2200 B.C.

The best beer is where priests go to drink. For a quart of Ale is a dish for a King.
--Shakespeare, "A Winter's Tale"

History flows forward on rivers of beer. "For we could not now take time for further search (to land our ship) our victuals being much spent, especially our Beer." --Ship's log of the Mayflower But the greatest love--the love above all loves, Even greater than that of a mother... Is the tender, passionate, undying love, Of one beer drunken slob for another. --Irish love ballad

You foam within our glasses, you lusty golden brew, Whoever imbibes takes fire from you. The young and the old sing your praises, Here's to beer, Here's to cheer, Here's to beer! --From the opera, "The Bartered Bride"

Life, alas, Is very drear. Up with the glass, Down with the beer! --Louis Untermeyer

"Here's to those who wish us well, as for the rest, they can go to Hell!" --Greg Casto, Huntington

Here's to bein' single... drinkin' doubles... and seein' triple!

God invented whiskey so the Irish wouldn't rule the world!

I'll have what the man on the floor's having! --Dave Gallagher, McGuires Irish Pub, Pensacola, FL

Merry met, and merry part, I drink to thee with all my heart. --Phil Wade

Work is the curse of the drinking class. --Oscar Wilde

Moderation is a fatal thing-- nothing succeeds like excess. --Oscar Wilde

We are all of us in the gutter. But some of us are looking at the stars. --Oscar Wilde

"It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow then to spend tonight like there's no money." --P.J. O'Rourke

If you have another one please let me know