Fun Stuff to do While Drunk

Some funny things you can do while Intoxicated

Although drinking is per se an entertainment, sometimes you may want something more to lighten up your life. Here are some things I find particularly fun to do:

Farm Animal Hunting.- If you are on a drinking frenzy with your friends in the country or the beach, it isn't a wise idea to waste your limited cash on food. A good way to solve this problem is to hunt for "wild" farm animals. Chickens are the easiest ones. They are numerous, easy to catch, easy to run with and you can hide them easily. My favorite is cows, they aren't as easy as chickens, you need at least a 9mm pistol or a 12 gauge shotgun, but a 7.92 WWII Mausser rifle isn't a bad idea. You also need a pickup truck and a couple of strong friends to lift it. If you can't get a cow, a donkey will do as well, I had an Argentinean friend who made a delicious donkey barbecue. Goats are easy to catch, just hit them in the head with a hammer. Choose young or female goats because grown up male goats have a bad taste. Pigs aren't a good idea, they can destroy your car, as happened to a friend of mine.
Police Harassing.- This is a healthy entertainment for all young and old alike. Be sure just to use traffic police (Buitres or Vultures) for this, because common police (Burros or Donkeys) usually are better armed and have a shorter fuse.
Roof Walking.- This is a good way to maintain your physical condition while intoxicated. You never know how many interesting new things you can find on an unknown roof. The fresh air will also help you cleanse your lungs. Just Be careful just not to step on weak spots because you can break a knee and that REALLY HURTS, believe me.
Shooting at Peoples Houses .- This is great fun to do, especially if the owner of the house just stole your girlfriend or a friend's. If the guy has a dog you can combine this suggestion with No. 1.
Stealing traffic signs.- You can develop a hobby for this one. Classics are: "Stop", "One-way" and "No Bridge Ahead". They also make great birthday gifts.
Long Distance Calls.- This is a good way to save some money if you're getting drunk in someone else's house. You can keep in touch with old friends or call those adult entertainment numbers in Hong Kong.
"Quebrar Tudo".- That's Brazilian for destroying everything (Marenzi A, Barcillo, 1995). If your friends can't decide on what to do or where to go suggest this: "Lets go (someplace) drink like mad, and then we "Quebramus Tudo" (break everything). Be sure that your suggestion will be heard by your friends, and if it doesn't work leave at once and get new friends.
Hair Dying.- This is really fun and will make everyone stay alert at least while they're conscious. Other variations of this practice are: Shaving (head hair, eyebrows, etc), gluing the arm pits with crazy glue, Tattoos, leaving the guy naked in a public place, etc. Just remember that when the guy awakes he will be very angry, so if he asks who did it say it was a big bad boy that came after he passed out.
WOW! Parties.- This is a great entertaining suggestion you can combine with numbers 6, 7 and 8. A "WOW! Party" is a party where you don't know almost anyone, it's boring and you don't give a damn what people in it think of you. Parties of girls you have picked up are a great example of "WOW! parties". For all this reasons, you can release all your lowest impulses and perversions. Apart from shooting, "quebrar tudo", and making long distance calls, classic stuff to make on a "WOW Party" are: Find out where the expensive drinks are and finish them, Annoy the neighbors, torture and/or killing pets, throw the house out by the window (Literally), throwing firecrackers, go dressed with a raincoat (that's ONLY with a raincoat) and expose yourself to granny, propose marriage to 5 of the host's best friends, Food War, taking friends of recognized bellicosity, etc.... Imagination is your only limit. Remember the "Los Ilegales" Song La fiesta.
Riding a bike in the Hospital.- If one of your friends gets injured while drinking and you have to take him to the Emergency Room, go visit him riding a bicycle, and enter the ER on it. Despite what doctors may say ER are designed specially for this. If this wasn't the case, Why then do they put bicycle ramps in them?.
Annoying the Police Chief or Warden.- If despite the precautions you take you end up in Jail, lighten your life bothering the Police Chief or the Warden. My favorite way to do this is singing the song Cataplum of Daniel Santos (Cataplum pa adentro anacaobero, a mi comisario no le gusta el bolero...). Generally all the other convicts will sing along, and believe it or not most police chiefs will get very angry on this.
Giving bad Image.- What better way to have fun drinking than giving a bad Image?, Drink in public places, make scandals in public, bother the ladies and look for fights.
People Hunting.- This is another sport that everyone likes. Don't use firearms, that's not what a gentleman does. Use a stick, barbed wire or my favorite A Hockey Stick.