Each day is a step that carries me down
      the narrow, rocky, untrod road that I need to be on...

      Each mile I traveled past the summer of '96
      I was shown how no man, no woman or child filled the hole left in me since

      I fooled myself a while thinking people I knew could do
      but the fact is only a deity's love could repair my heart and see me through

      I knew God when my father died I'd known him years before
      and each test or trial that came by I laid at God's feet on heaven's floor

      like some trophy I thought I'd won for Him
      conquered by me! By Christ made bolder at God's feet... But not on Christ's shoulders

      Only Jesus, the death he died the life he lives made any of my foul works good
      even so, I moved in my own strength and tried to supplement his blood

      As if I ever could! Each movement I made, I made alone
      for all the sins I'd ever done
      trying on my own to atone

      Beneath my stubborn body, weak is something weaker still
      An ugly thing I relied on
      Not God's but my own will.

      I've come to know in this last year that I'm not the orphan I thought myself
      That God is my Father, not a book,
      dusty, on a shelf

      God is the one with t-shirt torn; the one who takes me home
      when I've pushed and beaten him far from me
      thinking I want to be alone

      Where I thought only my Dad could be God has eased His way in place
      He and His Son, my brother, share a nod --
      and there's a smile on His face

      Where I thought I had nothing left, with both my parents gone
      where I thought all was taken from me
      was sure there was no one

      God Himself took on the role when I thought there was no one like Dad
      I didn't see the strong arms waiting
      the power that they had

      I thought I'd hit the bottom sure I'd been left to fall
      But the truth is I couldn't even see the bottom
      Because God's body is so tall

      Truth is, I hardly fell at all, despite the hurt and pain
      He caught me long before I hit
      to lift me up again

      The way I felt about my Dad that's something I'll always feel
      the connection we had was deep
      the love is still so real

      I still dream sometimes of him and Mom, laughing, talking, quiet
      and God is close when I wake upset
      His heart is never silent.

      there's a long way to go not living like an orphan a lot I still need to still learn
      God's in my heart, in my life everyday
      In control of the road's every turn

      111999 - Kris Kiessling

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