It's a wonderful life...some quotes from four years of college life in the US.
All these conversations have been recited as they happened...nothing on this
page should violate private conversations and should not embarrass anyone...
if you think they do...let me know...

"He usually writes us an email telling us how he just came from a trip, spent a day on the beach,
went to a concert, met celebrities and went to an NFL game. Then two days later he“s on the
phone whining "I never do anything exciting""
- My mother tries to explain her son...


"So what languague do you y“all speak in England?"
- A girl makes an ill-fated attempt at picking up Steve in Tennessee


"Hey, do you want a long sleeved, short sleeved T-Shirt?"
"Hey, langar žig ķ langerma stuttermabol?"
 - Birna at a U2 concert (It kind of gets lost in the translation)
 

"My number? Hold on, it's 305-444-4get it"
- A girl at Riverfront. She added that she had a lousy piece of a boyfriend
at home and she should probably do the right thing. Which she did.


"I“m a Jack of all Trades, master of none"
- Kobina


"So Tito tells me you guys think I have him whipped"
- Andrea, Tito's girlfriend mmakes Daši feel very uncomfortable...


"Look at all those wonderful American things"
- An open mouthed Mauricio discovers Wal Maart Supercenter


"I am going to the Disney Icecapades...again"
- Tito is the only one who can keep a girlffriend...and this is why


Daši is having dinner in Memphis with a friend who happens to be a girl.
She“s looking out the window when all of a sudden she looks Daši in the eyes and says:
Girl: "I want a baby"
Daši almost coughs up his drink: "What, now!?!"


"Dadi you pissed on my mom's roses...I cannot believe you pissed on my mom's roses"
-Tito


"Masturbation"
- Kat when asked how best to relieve stress

"I sold my car to Chris"
- Birna

"I sold my car to Kobina"
- Chris

"I sold my car to Elise"
- Kobina

"I bought Kobina“s car"
- Elise
In the space of 12 months the same Mazda belonged to four of my
separately connected friends without me having anything to do with it.


"So you“re saying we have 43 cheeseburgers for five people?"
- Ryan, Rico, Daši, Mike and Cameron discovver McDonald“s 39 cents Cheeseburger
Wednesdays in Tennessee...everyone went seperately and brought burgers for everyone else


Daši, Kobina and Dr. Peever had been to one club two nights in a row in New Orleans
and gotten to know the waitresses by now. Then one night Elise goes out with Daši and Kobina
and ends up dancing up on stage with the band:
Waitress: "If you didn“t have such a hot girlfriend, I would have taken you home with me tonight" and leaves...
Daši: "Hold on...wait...wait...she“s not my girl...friend...Shit!!"


How to leave your brother speachless...
Daši: "I am having such a great time, I have been getting to know a new side of Miami."
Hlķn (little sister): "Are you gay?"
...which makes me very disturbed why she asked?


André: "You know what...you are really beautiful"
Girl: "Thank you"
André: "You know who also thinks you are beautiful?"
Girl: "No, who"
André: "Dino, Dino Raso"
Girl: "Who?"


"You should be so lucky to have a Dino Raso!"
- André (to another girl who was not interested)


André, Dino and Daši are sharing a cab with three girls in Key West
(University of Miami“s sports teams are called the Hurricanes or the Canes):
Dino: So where are you from?
Girl: Virginia Tech
André: Virginia...hah, Miami beat your ass at football...Hah..I cannot believe you are from Virginia...
(starts shouting)... C.A.N.E.S CANES CANES CANES!!! Hah, you suck...I cannot believe you are from Virginia! You suck!!!


"André, you are an idiot!"
- Dino and Daši after the cab left...with the girls


 "Dino, you know I never go for anything less than a 9" (Referring to the movie "10")
- André when questioned about his taste in women


Later conversation:
Dino: "So André, is your new girlfriend hot?"
André: "Dino, she“s an 11"


André: "You have never seen such a thing...and I am not even lying"
(every time he describes something that he enjoyed)


Dino, André and Daši are at a restaurant in Key West, four girls sit at the next table:
André picks up his new cell phone: "Allo...oui...je suis en Key West...et toi? Ah, c“est magnifique"
and proceeds to have a long conversation with himself in French to impress the ladies...didn“t work.


Dino and Daši are on the beach in Key West. Four gorgeous French girls sit down right next to them.
Dino grinds his teeth and curses:
Dino: "Damn...where is André when you really need him?"


"Oh look, the Austrian flag!"
- Daši sees André at the German booth at the Festival of Nations


"Yes, I will have the Filet Mignon...and the escargot“s...and the house champagne"
- André at Hooter“s...a sports bar where the waitresses are barely covered


"I feel like a real person again"
André just bought a cell phone in the US:


"When Germany wins the World Cup...I am German.
When France wins the World Cup...I am French! Ha ha, I cannot loose"
André, who is both French and German...yet again


"I“m in loooove"
-André after the second date<


"André, don“t get engaged again"
- Dino to André...two times already


Tito substitutes Daši in a game for FC Eurotrash:
Tito: "You were going to kill him. You had that look in your eyes."
Daši: "I was going to, why the hell did you take me off?"


Dino: "You see the guy over there...he's Dadi...he's from Iceland and he
does not speak good English. Now because of that he is very shy but he really would like to talk to you"
Girl comes over to Dadi (Veeeery Sloooowly): "He-llo I am Jenn-i-fer. What-is-your-name?"
Daši: "What on earth did that guy tell you?"


Daši is walking out of a bar in New Orleans. Street is full, everybody“s having a great time.
A drunk, but preppy college guy in khakies emerges and suddenly embraces him:
College Guy: Do you love Jesus Christ?
Daši (looks him in the eyes and says very harshly): No!
Guy is startled and turns to next person: "Eh, do you love Jesus Christ?"


"Yes, I liked Star Wars a lot...that's the one with Luke...Perry in it right?"
- Oh boy! Women!


Kat: "I don't eat meat, I am a vegetarian"
Tito: "But you are eating chicken right now?"
Kat: "Chicken does not count"
Daši: "So you're saying my dad is a vegetable farmer?"
(My dad owns a part of a poultry processing company...and raises thousands of chickens at his own
facilities at any given time for those who don't know)

FC Eurotrash arguing over ethnic superiorities...as we always do right before games
Marty Cassini: "You have a stupid name...but do you know what Cassini means?"
Maduo: "Yes. arrogant French bastard".


Daši: "Do you notice that there are no women around here but a lot of very handsome men?"
Daši and Professor Peever walked a little bit too far in the French Quarter


"Damn, I“m having an André kind of a day"
-Maduo misses a golden chance for FC Eurotrrash...


"What! Maduo, come here, I“ll will kill you"
- André


Maduo: "You Europeans are all about winning at all cost, even if it is ugly. We have to play beautifully
with tricks, otherwise it does not matter"
Daši: "Maduo, have you seen White Man Can“t Jump? You would rather look good and loose than look ugly and win!"


Professor: "What are you most afraid of?"
Daši: "My mother"


"I“m easy...I“ll do whatever you want"
An absent minded Krista isn“t fully aware of what she is saying when Daši asks
her what she is going to do tonight


Rush Modelling Agency (on the phone, calling for the fifth time in a week):
"But we already have an assignment for you. Can you come in on
Wednesday for a photo shoot?"
Daši: "What do you mean you have a photo shoot? You have never even seen me!"
Rush: "The lady who met you at the mall is a professional modelling scout and
she highly recommended you. Currently we are looking for people for photo shoots and for extra work
in movies in Miami and she said you would fit in perfectly."
Daši: "But you haven“t seen me...I am not supposed to be in front of the camera!"
Rush: "She said you would fit in perfectly for what we are looking for. Can“t I just schedule you for a shoot
on Wednesday?"
Daši: "You know what, I just don“t have any time for this now and I am not interested"
Rush: "What? You are not interested?"
Daši: "No. You have never seen me!"

Later that evening...
Daši: "So this modeling agency that scouted Andre and I at the mall called
and she said they had an assignment and were looking for guys who look like us"
Stephanie: "What, stupid foreign people?"


"What the hell, what languague are you all speaking?"
- Larry from Baltimore gets caught in the middle of a conversation between
Coffey from Jamaica and Maduo from Botswana


"Just give me a pool table and a redneck bar and I am happy"
- Same Larry


"Oh my Goood! Are you crazy?"
"Guuuuuš minn góšur! Daši, ertu vitlaus?"
- My mother at regular intervals through thhe four years


"Who can I ask about facilities management? (moments later) You know what...I have a person
who I can ask about facilities management. My facilities management teacher!"
- A true genius is enlightened...Dino


"We are the Euro and Maduo is the Trash"
- Daši explains FC Eurotrash's curious compilation of people


A guy and a girl are walking out of a nightclub at four o'clock in the morning...Daši is driving both home,
the guy is his friend and the girl is a friend of a friend and happens to be gay...which everyone was aware of.
They“ve been dancing with each other for the last hour and now are walking behind Daši, both drunk
and leaning on each other...all of a sudden the conversation becomes loud:
Guy: "But why?"
Girl: "Because I don't like boys, that's why!"
Guy: "But, but, but...why?"


Dino: "Paul, what are you eating that brownie for? Paul you are a fat bastard!"
Paul: "Dino, I may be a fat bastard but I can do something about it. You on the other hand are always
going to be an annoying little midget"


"It“s so good to be here in LA and watch the evening news.
Lots of people you want to fuck but noone you want to get the news from"
- A speaker at the National Broadcast Society“s Annual meeting in LA


"I did not know it was supposed to go in there"
- Stephanie after Michael and Daši pour 3 gallons of water into her overheated car“s water tank

"Women! Can't live with them...can't live without sex!"
- Jerry

An elderly lady comes up to Dadi in a bar. Her daughter is having
a bachelorette party at the bar.
Lady: "She needs a pair of guy's underwear"
Daši (Thinking "She's not getting mine"): "Eh...I am not wearing any"


"Welcome to Miami, where everyone drives according to the traffic law...of their own country"
- A professor“s welcome after being late for class


"Smooth as lotion"
- Written in night-glow material above a baseball player“s bed at Cumberland University


"They say they want to show me that they are better than these girls on the wall"
- Same baseball player explaining what girlls say when they enter his dorm room, wallpapered with
Playboy and Hustler photos


ABC News anchor Peter Jennings came to Miami to conduct a town meeting. Within a half an hour the
African-American and Cuban-American representatives are shouting fervously at each other
...a bemused Jennings looks into the crowd...
Peter Jenning: "Is this how it usually is in Miami?"
Crowd all together: "YES!"


After soccer practice in Daši and Mauricio“s dorm room in Tennessee
Mauricio: "Rico...put this lotion on my back"
Rico: "No"
Mauricio: "Come on Rico...I am burning...put this lotion on my back"
Rico: "Maui, I can't believe you. I am not going to put lotion on your back"
Daši: "Go on Rico, rub your lover“s back in oil"
Rico: "No way! I am not touching him"
Mauricio: "Come on Rico"
Rico: "Maui, you are such a baby. Alright, hand me the bottle"
Daši: "Hold on. Let me get the camera, the guys on the team have to see this"
Rico: "I am going to kill you Maui"

Daši is dancing with a woman who happens to be a dance instructor
...and a little bit drunk...
Woman: "You dance so good"
Daši: "Wow, you are really drunk"


Daši (introducing Tito to his landlord): "This is my boyfriend Tito"
Landlord: "Eh?"


Daši (a month later...introducing Kobina to his landlord): "This is my brother Kobina"
Landlord: "Eh?"


"Whoooo! Taps"
- Dino at Barnes & Noble...you had to be there...Daši and Tito were thoroughly amused


"OK, let's make a bet. $100 each that we will not eat anything with carbohydrates for two weeks"
- My God, did Daši, André and Dino ever regret that one...they were starving for two weeks.


"I feel like I was raped by an elephant"
- How to explain a hangover


"Somebody get that girl a magazine-rack because she has a lot of issues"
- Dr. Peeler gives up on a student...


"I need to get fucked, I“ve never been fucked before and I want to fuck!"
- A good ol“southern girl goes crazy, runs inside the Athletes Dorm in Tennessee, opens the door at my neighbors
and jumps on the first guy she sees...boy did he ever have a rude awakening


"I was at my girlfriend's place and something came up"
- Dr Sharland recites the best excuse for aabsence he's ever heard...


Andrea calls her boyfriend Tito...but he doesn“t reach the phone in time...
Dino: "Hello sweetie"...proceeds to a conversation "Hold on, let me transfer you to your lover"
Daši: "Hey, this is your lover"
Andrea: "Oh no!"

Names have been withheld:
Boy: "You see, I do not want a relationship...I am just looking for meaningful sex"
Girl: "Isn't it supposed to be meaningless?"
Boy: "Nothing is meaningless with me"
Girl: "That is fine by me then"
Next day
Girl: "I want a relationship with you"


"I want to be a boy toy...I could be a boy toy"
- Dino...very disturbing...


"Do I look American now?"
- Birna goes overboard in buying two super sized movie
popcorn and Pepsi packages...just to see the look on Daši“s
face when she almost fell over the tray when coming up the stairs.

Tito shows up for practice at Cumberland...one of two Hispanics on the team
and he had just shaved his hair.
Ryan: "Look, it's a Mexican Eskimo...a Meximo!"


"If you were a burger, I would call you McBeautiful"
-Daši and Tiina compare pick up lines at Barnes & Noble...that one was particularly bad...


Daši: "So did she say yes? Are you two engaged now?"
Mark: "She said yes, but her mother said no"


"Now, you don't have to remember this formula. But be sure to tell all the people who are
absent today that they have to learn this exact formula by heart"
- Why nobody misses Dr. Payne's Finance class


Dino: "So how do you and Pauliina get into those competions? Do you go home at night
and say "Whoo, I wash the dishes better than you"?"

Daši, Paul, Dino, Mike and Andre are in a breakfast restaurant in Tampa...
in the noon after a big night out. Waitress is very good looking...but at least
50 years old and immediately falls in love with Daši and is rubbing his shoulders
and smiling at him a lot...but doesn't like Andre one bit...other guys think this is really funny...
Paul (laughing): "Dadi...you should go for her!"
Daši: "Yeah really,...she's twice my age Paul...she's a grandma for crying out loud"
Dino: "So how many more years you think you will be able to sleep with someone who's twice your age?"
Paul to waitress: "By the way...what is your name?"
Maggie: "My name is Maggie...Rod Stewart wrote a song about me...remember?"
Paul: "Maggie, this is Dadi...he's from Iceland...he's a really nice guy"
Daši (Kicking Paul under the table): "Hi Maggie"
Maggie in a Southern drawl: "Hi Sweetheart!"
Andre: "Who is Rod Stewart?"
Maggie: "What, you don't know who Rod Stewart is?"
Andre: "No, I am German...how do I know who Rod Stewart is? Do you know Fritz Muller?"
Maggie sighs and goes for coffee: "I don't believe you"
She returns to pour the boys some coffee and the German speaks again
Andre: "I am sorry I don't know who Rod Stewart is...but you know Fritz Muller is a big star
in Germany. And you know what, he wrote a song about ME"
Maggie: "Really, how does it go"
Andre (singing in a really bad voice): "Andreeeee...you are so beautiful Andreeee...you are so
wonderful Andre...AAAAAAndrEEEEE!"
By this time the senior citizens on the next table were rolling with laughter...


Daši and Tito are driving down West Dixie Highway and coming to an intersection
Tito: "So should I go straight?"
Daši: "No, you can keep being gay"


Guy sees a girl walking by on a night out...
Guy: "Hi, where are you going?"
Girl: "Hi, I“m going with you"
...ah..women!


"Allen Ginsburg was here a couple of years ago and he wanted to sleep with my best friend"
- A professor in Tennessee


"Row, row, row your boat. Gently down the stream? Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily...."
- When Dino drinks beer...he ends up on stage...at a Finnish bar in Boynton Beach!!!


"Is everybody Finnish in here?!?"
-Dino half sobers up into the microphone....  

Paul, Daši, Dino and Andre are taking a taxi from downtown Tampa to Paul's house
at five in the morning. Paul is the only one who knows where they are going:
Taxi driver: "This turn?"
Paul (half asleep in the front seat): "Yeahmmm"
Five minutes later
Taxi driver: "Turn here?"
Paul: "Yeahhhhh"
This repeats itself twice more...then twenty minutes later they come to the end of a
road...in the middle of nowhere
Taxi driver: "Now where?"
Paul wakes up: "Where the hell are we? How did we get here?"

"So the Heat is probably named the Heat because it is so hot in Miami?"
-Tiina gets all philosophical during the fourth period of a Miami Heat game

"Next time I should probably think before I open my mouth"
-Tiina when she caught her breath... and shouldn't we all?