The name says it all, people. Do I need to spell it out for you? Think about it...honestly.

I'm sure many of you people use a little well-known file-sharing program nowadays known as Kazaa, right? Well this all started one fine and dandy day when I got home from school. I had just been talking to my friend and he had told me about a certain song from a CD that he thought I would like. Well, being the reasonable person I am, I prance over to my computer and open my freshly downloaded Kazaa Lite K++ (free of spyware) and began to search for said song. Right away literally millions downloadable copies of the song appear before my very eyes; "Wow, what a great day I'm having!" I said to myself as I selected to download the first song that came up on the vast search results.

The download was complete in seconds, a brand new song to add to my list of shared music files I had previously downloaded. I quickly went down to the kitchen to make some popcorn and get some soda so I could witness this great work of art in luxury, and I clicked "play" on the window...

The song sounded great at first, then something unexpected happened. It cut off to a shrieking sound similar to an old man grinding his crusty fingernails down a chalkboard over and over again (see JAWS). I thought maybe a plane was passing by, or my eardrums had unexpectedly exploded, but it wasn't that...was this some kind of new gruesome torture invented by a new generation of Nazi's? Sadly, it was not.

I decided to look into this horrible oddity and attempt to find a solution, I asked around and learned that the new method was code-named "scrambling". Apparently, the RIAA developed this technique to attempt to stop downloading free music off the Internet. "Why would the RIAA try to stop innocent people like me from downloading free music off the Internet?" I asked myself, "what did I ever do wrong? Why me?" A small tear rolled down my face and dripped to the floor as I pondered this age-old question...then I remembered how badass I am and the tear magically flew back up into my eye.

I only wanted to know if this CD was worth me spending my precious $12 on (that I had fairly earned from my dad shoveling snow the earlier week), is that so wrong? I just wanted to download ONE song so I could get an idea of what the CD was like. Why do rich people have to be such dickheads?

The thought occurred that I could always use my AK-47's that I have cleverly installed in my arms and legs and I could use my helicopter to infiltrate the RIAA headquarters and bust some badass caps, but then I remembered that I do not have AK-47's installed in my arms and legs, nor do I own a helicopter...and I have no idea where RIAA is based. So instead I decided to spread my knowledge through writing an ingenious editorial. So I sat down at my computer and...oh wait, never mind.