Disclaimer: The First Evil belongs to Joss Whedon and Sauron belongs to J.R.R. Tolkein. I own nothing.

Tête-à-tête

By alliterator

 

“How could you be defeated?” Sauron fumed.

 

The First Evil crossed its noncorporeal arms. “You’re the one that lent me those Urak-hai rejects. You couldn’t have sent me a Nazgul or two?”

 

“Those guys are hard to come by,” Sauron blinked his tremendous eye, “and I don’t want to risk losing any more.”

 

“Great, I lost because eye-diot over here is too stingy with his minions.”

 

“What if I wanted you to send me that preacher guy you had, huh? How ‘bout that?”

 

“Oh please,” The First Evil shook its head, “Caleb would have killed those stupid hobbits before they could have gotten to Mount Doom.”

 

“Hey,” Sauron fumed, “my Nazgul would have gotten them if they hadn’t been preoccupied with-”

 

“Dying?” The First Evil smirked. “I mean, if a girl was able to kill the Witch-King of Angmar, than how effective were the Nazgul really?”

 

“Oh, so know we want to talk about our minions being defeated by girls?”

 

“That’s an entirely different matter! She’s the Vampire Slayer and she has all these powers-”

 

“And this has nothing to do with her still being alive and you being defeated, huh?”

 

“That was Spike’s fault!”

 

“Blame it on the ex-minion. I bet you do that a lot.”

 

“Oh, and whose the person who actually threw the One Ring into Mount Doom, huh? I don’t suppose it was an ex-minion, right?”

 

“He didn’t throw it, he fell into it, get your facts straight.”

 

“To-may-to, to-mah-to. As I heard it, he also used to be a hobbit…”

 

“Don’t get me started!”

 

 

 

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