You want me to look "feminine" for a change. Fine. If it'll get you off my back about it, I'll try to look like a "lady." But I ain't wearin' a dress.

Look, "feminine". Happy? Don't get used to it.

The Litany. Yeah, I know it. “Garou don’t mate with Garou.” Means don’t make a metis.

“Fight the Wyrm everywhere it rears its’ ugly head.” Straightforward and simple – you see Wyrm, you kill Wyrm. Yeah, sometimes you gotta wait, but you always try to kill it eventually.

“Respect anothers’ territory.” Is it yours? No? Keep your feet where they’re allowed, and your hands where they’re allowed. Break it, and lose’em both.

“Accept an honourable surrender.” Means accept an honourable surrender.

“Submit to those of a higher station.” Means don’t tell your elders "bite me"; they will.

“First share of the kill goes to the highest in station.” Whatever.

“Don’t eat humans.” Pretty straightforward.

“Respect those beneath you; you’re all part of Gaia.” Means the kinfolk, and normal humans. Not the Get of Fenris you’re standing on. About the only good use I can see for stiletto heels.

“Don’t break the Veil.” Remember the Burning Times? Yeah.

“Don’t let your people tend your sickness.” Whatever. We all gotta heal sometimes.

“You can challenge the leader in peace, but not in war.” Makes sense. If ya gotta challenge the leader in War, then you fucked up and missed something when you were at “peace”.

Got a few of our own too. “Don’t let man abuse woman.” That’s another “DUH” rule. “Remember your parents.” Normally, it means remember that you didn’t come from nowhere. We’ll let this one slide. “Train the weak, protect the helpless.” The weak don’t care. They ain’t usually worth the effort. These are the folks we probably culled in the Impergium, which was probably a good thing. The helpless, though, they’re weak, but trying to get stronger. So help’em. “Keep the Wyld places Pure.” This one’s weird. I think it means that the places where the Wyld is, we gotta keep from being screwed over by the Weaver or the Wyrm. Some others seem to think it means not letting a guy fuck you. Those are usually the Furies who are ashamed to be a lesbian, and need some kind of excuse to justify themselves. Pisses me off, using that rule to justify their sexuality.

There is one rule, though, that no tribe breaks, and no tribe interprets differently. “Don’t do anything that endangers a Caern.” Pretty straightforward; break it, and you will die.

Speaking of Caern's, we ain't the only one's who hold Caerns. We just hold the ones closest to Gaia. There’s a bunch of other tribes out there too, of Garou, like us, except they’re full of idiots, with a few women tossed into the mix. 12 other tribes, or 12 tribes overall, I’m not sure which. Heard there used to be more, but a few of them got wiped out in wars and stuff

I met a few. Not all of’em. Like the Talons, the Stargazers, the Fianna and the Glasswalkers. I’ve never met’em. Heard about the Talons, sound like a less focused Inquisition. Yeah, we need the wolf, and Man’s fucked up, but… shit. I bet that “Don’t eat humans!” part of the litany is in there just for them.

Then you’ve got the Stargazers. I don’t care about them; buncha kung-fu monks. Ever heard of a Kung Fu Nun? Before Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Think hard. Go on, I’ll wait.

While you’re trying to find a King Fu Nun, maybe you’ll find something about the Fianna. The Fianna sound like they might be fun, bunch of drunken Irish… yeah, maybe not. Drunks piss people off. Pissing me off is bad for your health.

Met a Glasswalker kin once, in Chicago. He’s a friend of my sister, he manages our stocks and stuff, gave her a job with some outreach program that reaches out to the “Disenfranchised Youth”, aka Juvenile Delinquents, or little bastards as they should be called.

At least I think he was kin. He didn’t seem much like a wolf.

The other tribes, the ones I’ve met? Take the Gnawers. Take them far away. How can they like living in shit, sleeping in alleys where women get raped and left for dead, and you find dead babies in dumpsters? Damned dogs, not even worth the time to kick out of the way when the fighting starts.

A bit better are the Children of Gaia. At least they understand that first part of the litany, and what it means. Too bad they miss the second part of the litany so often. I bet if any tribe survives the Apocalypse, it’ll be them, seeing as how they’re useless in a real fight, and they know well enough to stand behind the warriors when the fighting starts.

Can’t mention fighting without mentioning the Get of Fenris. Call me weak, Fenrir. I dare you.

They’re not as bad as the Shadow Lords, though. One of these days, the Shadow Lords will learn why a Labrys has two blades; one is to cleave the lying sack of shit standing in front of me, and the other blade is to cleave the packmates of that lying sack of shit who’re creeping up behind me, to stab me in the back.

When they’re not trying to do the same to the Silver Fangs. Beautiful people, the Fangs. Even the men. But get a clue! Lead me with actions, not finger puppets! Still… it’s hard not to follow them, even when they claim to be taking orders from their shoes.

Speaking of shoes, I still haven’t figured out what the Wendigo mean when they call me a Wah-see Shoe. But something tells me, when I figure it out, there’s gonna be a good number of Indians who’re gonna get to see mah shoes, up close and personal.

Them, and a few Uktena. Maybe; they’re hiding something too, and it ain’t just some insult in Cree or North Dakota or whatever. They’re hiding something nasty. And when the rest of us find out, it’s gonna be too late to deal with it, I bet.

Maybe the Striders will find out what they’re hiding first; they’re good at that. Maybe they’ll find the Fera too; they’re like the Striders. Solitary, alien, mysterious. Only difference is the Striders don’t want us Garou all dead for a war no one really remembers anymore, except in legends. Bears, alligators, cats, birds, we slaughtered them all. I’d guess a few survived, but I’ve never met one.

Well, I met one. A Gurahl. Dunno what really to think - he was big. And I was alone; I ain't no Fenrir, so I high tailed it outta there before he got even bigger. A two tonne bear who's almost as fast in his cave bear form as I am in lupus ain't something I'm gonna mess with alone if I don't have to.

The rest, who cares? Kill the Warlocks and the Vampires. The rest just stay the hell out of my way.

coming eventually: the story of the Labrys, learning to speak Greek, meeting her packmates, some of the trials of being a high rage garou lookin' for love and scarin' the women away, and a few other little tidbits. Gonna be a bit later on those than I had hoped, because I left my notebook at work. I'm going to use that excuse as much as I can, even if it really means I've just been lazy, and haven't opened my notebook with is actually sitting right next to me at the computer. The Striders aren't the only ones who travel that river in Egypt... :-)