Twinkle Yell: http://members.dencity.com/TwinkleYell/
Twinkle Yell is a shrine site to that much-maligned character in Sailormoon...Chibusa. Perhaps besides Chibi-chibi, no character in the series gets as much grief as Chibusa does and this site is one that says that the Pink-haired One is not that bad. The site is predominately pink (go figure), but it is a nice soft pink, and it has a marbled-like texture that made it quite subdued...attractive, but not blaring out at the viewer. The banner used for the site was a small thing, but it fit well with the site. For a new site, there is a lot for people to do here. The author has written a few of her opinions on why Chibusa is a better character than the other Inners, and while some of it gets repetitive, I liked the laid-back style that the author uses. Too many people, myself included sometimes, fall into the trap of over-analysis...we want to sound like an expert on the subject we are talking about. The author on the other hand demonstrates some knowledge of the character that is the subject of her page by leisurely stacking her up against the other characters in the series. I want to see what she has to say about the Outers, but for now, that page is not yet completed. There is a quiz, and there are pages devoted to other things relating to Chibusa, namely her brief stint as "Black Lady", and her devoted companion of the later seasons, Diana. There are areas of improvement for this page. While there are definate routes for improvement, the author has yet to take them. The Opinions, attacks, and Black Lady pages are not completed. Neither is the links page. If you are going to show viewers what to expect in the future, perhaps some "Construction" icon (a SMALL one), or "not completed", or something should be placed there. If that is done, some viewers will patiently bookmark the site and return to see what develops. Leaving active links to unfinished pages may save you a bit of work, but it sets off negative vibes with the viewers. The graphic table in the pages (where the text is) appears to be off-center. This could just be my screen however, as I use a 800x600 resolution). Then we get to a personal pet peeve of mine. On the main page, the author starts by saying things like "how can you choose that disgusting little pink BLOB over Chibiusa?", then in the next sentence asks people not to be offended. I am sorry, but Chibi chibi fans will skip that sentence and be offended anyway, and it seems as though perhaps the person is taking a shot, then hiding behind a "don't hit me" line. The best thing to do in this case is come up with a better entry into the page. Leave the "Don't be offended by my opinions...." in there (reword it to fit the new setup), and then if the Chibi-loving fan hits your opinions page and has a coronary, too bad...they were warned. Whatever you do, do not insult yourself on your page. On your links page, you call yourself lazy. That's a definate no-no. First, that creates a negative imperssion of you, and secondly, it gives viewers a possible reason not to come back. You don't want to give the viewers an excuse not to visit your page. In fact, since you are not the subject of this page, take all references to yourself out, unless you do a "About the Author" page. :) Although it needs a bit of work, I have discovered that it is best not to give up on any webpage. I hope that I was not too hard on the author of this page. In actuality, these opinions, on this and other webpages can be taken or they can be left. It is up to the author of the page. However, I think that with continued work, Twinkle Yell can become a nifty page. Artemis' Score: 5.6
The first thing I noticed when I saw this shrine to Chibi Usa was "Egad! Pink!". After taking my sedatives, I sat down and started to read the welcome message...funny, the webmistress admits that not only does she know that many people dispise the color pink, but she hates the color also. But, then why did she make the WHOLE site pink? Time to move on... After flying through the site's content (took me five minutes) I was, and still am at a loss as to what the purpose of this site is. Sure it's to express her views on Chibi Usa and why she likes her but the information presented to the visiter is both incoherent and incorrect in the majority of the text. In "Opinions" we are presented with 8 (I think) sections, only two of which are started, where she compares Chibi Usa to other Sailormoon characters. As the webmistress states everything here is HER opinion but still it just seems...wierd. Here's an example of what I'm talking about. In her essay on why she likes Chibi Usa better than Sailormoon, she goes off track so quickly that by halfway through the opening sentence she has scrapped the intention of why CU is better and starts an info area on how Usagi and CU interact. What's even wierder is in the last paragraph where she, out of the blue says, "So, to conclude this, Chibiusa is better than Usagi because she's more kawaii. Yes, I know I haven't said anything about her being more kawaii above, but I couldn't think of anything else to put there"...I'm glad i'm not her english teacher. This style of writting continues throughout the site. Oh, something that I should complement her on is the fact that there is not one broken link or image on the entire site! Well done! The next section is the Chibi Usa Quiz. Pretty basic stuff, though there are a few technicalities in a few of the questions that should be corrected. Chibi Usa's first transformation was in R for example when she turned into Black Lady. Next section...Some info about Black Lady (VERY basic info) and some very confussing info about Diana where she flat out gets the information wrong. " In the beginning of SuperS, I think Chibiusa and Diana plan to leave to go to the future." and this is before the Dead Moon arrive! I didn't know that! I'd definitly suggest at least LOOKING for other Chibi Usa shrines which she ADMITS to having NOT been bothered to do in the links section. I don't mean to be harsh, but it's a good idea to check all the info you know even if you are 100% sure you're right about it. It's also nice to see what other people are doing with the Chibi Usa online community too. I'd also suggest adding some more games and even multimedia to encourage return visits as really, once someone reads the info, there's no need to return. Try advertising with link exchanges other than Sailormoon.Org (place that link in the empty links section by the way) as well. Get your site out there and let it grow. The Sailormoon community is a huge place and I'm sure there are many people that would love to help. Email me at diana@moonkitty.net and I'll be glad to help you anyway that I can. Diana's Score: 5
Overall Score: 5.3 |
