Epistemological Hypotheses

Odyssesus:
Times are changing
It's amazing
Things moving very fast, old chap

Patroclus:
Views are aging
It's all fazing
How can we keep up?

Patroclus and Odysseus:
Let’s talk about philosophy
Let’s ponder every mystery
When all the world is chattering
How can we poor philosophers not talk?

Odysseus: (spoken)
Come on, now, Patroclus! Let’s have a little discourse. Say anything
you like, but be prepared to defend it.

Patroclus: (spoken)
Oh... very well...
(sung)
If dilemma ails you, when the cosmos fails you
Why complain about it?
Everything is fleeting
What’s the sense in keeping
Worried and troubled when the world is full of cheer?
(spoken)
There. That’s stoicism.

Odysseus: (spoken)
Stiff upper lip.

Patroclus: (spoken)
Strong and silent. Now it’s your turn.

Odysseus:
I am a creature of rational thought
Logic and deduction and sense are my lot.
(spoken)
And that’s called "Odysseusism"!

Patroclus and Odysseus:
Let’s talk about philosophy
Let’s ponder every mystery
When all the world is chattering
How can we poor philosophers not talk?

Patroclus: (spoken)
That wasn’t a real theory! That was just your own opinion!

Odysseus: (spoken)
What? Don’t I count as a real philosopher?

Patroclus: (spoken)
It wasn’t fair. Let’s start again.

Odysseus:
Down in Athens
Every question,
Every issue’s given thought, dear boy

Patroclus:
Men take lessons
Slaves and freedmen
How to think and not

Patroclus and Odysseus:
When all the world is chattering
How can we poor philosophers not talk?

Patroclus: (spoken)
Did you hear about the latest fashion back home?

Odysseus: (spoken)
No... what is it?

Patroclus: (spoken)
Cynicism!

Odysseus: (spoken)
Never heard of it. What is it?

Patroclus: (spoken)
I’m not sure, but I hear you get a free barrel and stick when you join their club.
(sung) Worldly things are useless
Hell-sent to seduce us
Cast off your treasures
Luxury is wicked; throw it out and love
With ardour the mighty Zeus and all the gods above
(spoken)
I think that’s the Cynical philosophy. What are you going to do?

Odysseus: (spoken)
Hedonism.

Odysseus and Patroclus: (spoken)
Eugh!

Odysseus:
Pleasure is foremost in all of our hearts
Drink and be merry ‘cause we all depart.

Patroclus and Odysseus:
Let’s talk about philosophy
Let’s ponder every mystery
When all the world is chattering
How can we poor philosophers not talk?