The Achaian Camp. Achilles. Enter Patroclus.

Patroclus: Quickly, Achilles! Arm yourself! We’re under attack!

Achilles: Attack?

Patroclus: The Trojans are out in huge numbers. We’re being slaughtered, and Menelaus hasn’t returned yet. Agamemnon and Ajax are doing the best they can, but we can’t hold out for much longer! Even Nestor’s in full armour!

Achilles: You seem to be forgetting something.

Patroclus: Don’t be a fool! There are people dying out there! Can’t you hear them? Can’t you hear the sound of windpipes being pierced with spears, cutting short screams of terror? Listen!

Patroclus harkens to the sounds. A scream is heard.

Patroclus: Oh Zeus above. I knew that boy. I knew that boy, Achilles! You can’t waste any more time! Those are real people falling to the red earth outside.

Achilles: A promise is a promise.

Patroclus moves and strikes him.

Patroclus: How dare you? You’re not fit for this army. You’re not fit for Breseis. And you’re certainly not fit for fighting, as you take delight in proclaiming. You’re a selfish pig. You’re a brute, and I won’t have anything to do with you as long as you stay that way.

He starts to exit, but Achilles grabs his wrist and throws him to the floor.

Achilles: I can take a lot from you, Patroclus, but not that much. Not even you can say those things to my face—or to my back—and get away with it. And nobody ever strikes me. Next time, you won’t get off half so easily. You little worm, how can you call yourself my friend? You’ve never backed anyone but Agamemnon, have you? Lying little lurker, you can stay right where you are. I’m keeping my eye on you.

Achilles takes his sword down from the table and sits down. There’s a silence as he stares blankly off into space, and Patroclus tries to sum up his courage.

Patroclus: Achilles?

Achilles pays no heed.

Patroclus: Achilles, I need to go now.

He starts moving off stage, but suddenly Achilles stirs, and he halts once more. Another pause.

Enter a Chorus member, who walks over to Achilles and touches his forehead, whereupon the warrior lies down and closes his eyes.

Patroclus: Thank you, Zeus-sent sleep. (Seeing Achilles’ armour:) I’m sorry, old friend, but I’m going to need this. I could use it to frighten the Trojans—they’ll think I’m you! Who knows; maybe we can even win the day. He takes the armour and starts to leave, then turns back. Achilles, I feel... sorry for you. (Exit)

Achilles: Mother?

Sleep: I’m Sleep, sister of Death.

Achilles: You can’t fool me. Where did Patroclus go?

Sleep: He went to defend his comrades.

Achilles: But I told him not to.

Sleep: Achilles, let me explain something to you. His friends are dying out there. Patroclus wants to stop their deaths, so he’s going to fight in your place, since he can’t convince you. The Immortals don’t smile on your refusal to fight, Achilles.

Achilles: Well, the Immortals can go to Hades.

Sleep: Um...

Achilles: Metaphorically speaking.

Sleep: Perhaps Fate will convince you, if I cannot.

Achilles: What’s that supposed to mean?

Sleep: It means I’m sick of arguing with you, and you can see the consequences of your actions for yourself. Goodnight, Achilles, Peleus’ son. (Exit)

Achilles: Goodnight, mother. And I will save Patroclus. The battlefield is no place for a philosopher like him. I’ll get him out if it costs me... if it costs me my neutrality. If it costs me my promise. (Exit)

Enter Agamemnon, Ajax, and Odysseus from one side; enter Hector, Aeneas and Polydamas from the other; all in a great flurry. Also, the Chorus to act as soldiers from both sides.

Agamemnon: I think they’re coming from over here...

Hector: This way, men!

Agamemnon: Everything should be fine. I think I feel a day of glory coming on... You go on ahead to the Tower, Ajax.

Ajax takes off his puppet and leaves.

Agamemnon: And take this blasted puppet with you!

Ajax: (returning) You don’t need Little Ajax?

Agamemnon: I don’t care what you do with it!

Ajax: [I would prefer to stay here and guard you, Agamemnon!]

Agamemnon: Fine! Bugger off! He grabs a Trojan and kills him. See? No sweat. Day of Glory. I told you so.

Exit Ajax.

Aeneas: What’s that over there?

Hector: It looks like a dead rat.

Polydamas: Is it an Achaian dead rat, though?

Hector: Well, it’s standing with the Achaians. Aeneas, go make sure it’s dead.

Aeneas: If you say so...

Aeneas goes over to the puppet, frowns and stabs at it with his sword.

Odysseus: LITTLE AJAX!

Agamemnon: Come on! He’s just a toy.

Aeneas and the Trojans look dumbfounded. The Achaians rush to the puppet’s side.

Little Ajax: [It’s okay, guys. Go on without me... I’m done for...]

Agamemnon: He was REAL!

Odysseus: We’re losing vital signs---and rapidly.

Little Ajax: [Be strong... be brave... and remember that you’ll always be my friends!] (Dies)

Agamemnon: Run and get Great Ajax. Oh, Little Ajax! (Sobs)

Exit Odysseus.

Hector: That was Little Ajax, leader of the Locrians? He must have been... very, very ill.

Polydamas: It’s not natural. I sense danger. Hector, we’d better go.

Hector: Don’t be a coward, Polydamas! Speaking of which, where’s Paris?

Polydamas: I haven’t seen him since his duel with Menelaus.

Hector: Let’s go look for him. Come on! Fall in!

Exit Hector and Polydamas. Enter Paris and Helen.

Paris: Look at the fighting!

Helen: Paris, I’m frightened! Take me back inside.

Paris: Take you back now? But we just got here.

Helen: It’s noisy and dark and there are bodies everywhere! How can you like this? Take me back!

Paris: Well, you can go back if you want. Hector will be mad. If I left, I would be deserting. I could be killed for it. I’m not taking you back. Find your own way.

Helen.:Paris, you can’t just leave me here!

Paris: Oh, can’t I? He shoves Helen away. You’re not getting me into any more trouble!

Helen: ( as she’s forced into an upstage corner by the fighting) Paris!

Enter Ajax and Odysseus.

Agamemnon: Ajax! You’ve finally come!

Ajax: He’s dead? Ajax... Little Ajax... Hector! Hector, come out and fight like a man! Pick on someone your own size instead of a poor little puppet!

Agamemnon: He was real.

Re-enter Hector and Polydamas.

Hector: Paris; there you are.

Paris: I swear I’m alone.

Hector: Come on, get out your bow. We don’t have much time.

Ajax: Hector, let’s have a duel. Now. Man to man

Hector: How do I know they won’t interfere?

Agamemnon: Troops, fall back.

The Achaians give them space, and the Trojans likewise at a signal from Aeneas. The two duel, until finally they’re broken up in shock when Patroclus enters, dressed like Achilles.

Hector: It’s Achilles!

Polydamas: Hector, don’t fight him. It can’t end well. And you’re tired from fighting Ajax.

Ajax: Achilles?

Odysseus: Run for your life! It’s the Great Warrior, the Hero, the Champion of Homo Sapiens, Achilles Peleusson!

The Trojan soldiers flee in terror; Patroclus kills several and advances on Hector. Hector doesn’t move, but appears to be too frightened to run away. There is a moment of tension as Patroclus comes closer and looks the hero straight in the eye. And then--

Agamemnon: Don’t be stupid! That’s not Achilles. That’s just Patroclus.

A sneer comes over Hector’s face.

Hector: Yes... yes, I see that now. You’re just the boy. Achilles’ handmaiden, aren’t you?

Agamemnon: Honestly. And people call you clever, Odysseus. It’s plain as the nose on my brother’s face.

Hector stuns Patroclus silly with the back of his hand.

Hector: Dolon! Polydamas! Take off that fine armour of his.

They do so. Patroclus offers no resistance, but is limp in their hands. The lights turn red. Hector deals a killings stroke to Patroclus.

Patroclus: Hector... you’ve just made your last mistake. Achilles will avenge me. Nothing now can prevent your death. As I die, the fate of your City blackens... (He dies)

Chorus: The Sack has already begun.

Those onstage freeze in groups:
Agamemnon, Ajax, and Odysseus, looking on in horror;
Helen in her corner, hiding her face;
Hector and the dead body of Patroclus;
Aeneas, Dolon and Polydamas, looking more confused than shocked;
The Achaians troops, most kneeling in dismay;
The Trojan troops, with various reactions.
There is silence.

Menelaus (offstage): That bitch. (Entering.) That bitch of a woman!

Agamemnon slowly comes to and sees his brother. He grabs him and drags him to see Patroclus.

Agamemnon: Look. Patroclus.

Menelaus looks.

Agamemnon: Who knows what Achilles will do now? He may blame us and murder us all. The war is lost.

Menelaus: Then let’s go home.

Agamemnon: What?

Menelaus: Then let’s go home. Am I clear? Leave the harlot rotting. I was planning on giving up anyway. Do you know what I saw? Do you know what she did in front of me? She moved to the window and kissed Paris, just so I could see her. Well, she can go to Hades, too.

In her corner, unseen by the Achaians, Helen starts sobbing again, hiding her face.

Agamemnon: Menelaus, someone has just died. I’d never thought to hear this coming from my mouth, but forget your own small problems. (Trying to get the full weight of the words) Patroclus is dead.

Menelaus: Brother, people have been dying every day for me. For you. All of you! (To the whole stage, now) Have you only realised what death is now? Now, that someone you know, a nobleman, has been slain? Well, wake up. Hundreds exactly like him die with every arrogant battle we wage. Patroclus knew it; unlike you, he could understand. He could sympathise. He felt it, here inside him. That’s what being human is. It’s not waiting until your best friend happens to lie among the thousands to cry.

Agamemnon: Menelaus!

Menelaus: I’ll say what I want. I’m a king, too, aren’t I? Well, then, I’ll say what I want! And what I want to say is this: too bad. Give up. You should have realised long ago that you’ve wasted nine years of your life.