Identity Crisis
I like rock and classic music. I love listening to Mozart¡¯s piano concertos, symphonies but I also love listening to heavy metal, modern rock. Looking at me, my roommate concluded that I have double personalities. I have never thought about myself as having double personalities so what she said to me was quite a shock. Like this, I do not really have a clear idea about who I am or what kind of person I am. However, I am very interested in reading classics or novels that are related to searching identity such as Demian or Narcissus and Goldmund. Obviously when I saw the theme of the unit I will study, search for identity, I was pretty looking forward to reading the stories.
When I read One thousand Dollars and Getting a Job, I could not help myself sighing. Despite my expectation, the stories were neither interesting nor helpful. I still do not even get why One thousand Dollars is in this chapter. Not only were the stories unhelpful in making me find my identity but they were also boring. The reason why the stories were boring to me was 99% because the situations in the story are not similar to mine. The idea of inheriting 1000 dollars from a relative is definitely not likely to happen and I would not be getting a job right now! The stories would have been able to give me a further insight to my identity if they were more realistic, in my view point, and related to my situation right now.
The characters are the first error in giving the correct idea about identity. In One thousand dollars, Robert Gillian fails to give an idea about identity because what he does is not searching for identity but searching for something good enough to spend his inheritance. Could realizing that he loves Ms. Hayden be a successful search for identity? I strongly believe not. Identity is an element of oneself to be different from others and the factor is an independent thing that cannot be easily changed from day to night. In a similar way, Marguerite also fails to do the same mission. The character basically gets the job by going to the office everyday and trying as much as she can. This is something that I can learn from her but not something that helps me understands my identity. The two characters are same when it comes to unsuccessful search for identity.
In contrast, the two stories are also very similar when it comes to theme. In my opinion, the theme of one thousand dollars is to live a meaningful life. I might be thinking in a strange way, but all I can think about while reading the story was that. In addition when reading Getting a Job, I also thought the theme was to live a meaningful life by looking at the active and outgoing character, making her life more shine by herself. The difference is that the two stories come to the same conclusion in different ways. The former one makes me think that way by showing such a hopeless fellow and in the latter one, the story brings to the same conclusion by showing a model of how one should achieve their goals by oneself.
I must admit, though, even though the stories are not so interesting, they were worthy of reading. Although I must say that they are not as influential as the stories at the beginning such as Harrison Bergeron or By the Waters of the Babylon, I was able to have a in depth thinking about the stories. The stories itself did not much help me find my identity but indirectly they made me think about my identity by making me ask myself the same question; ¡°How about myself?¡±
All in all, the stories were boring when I was reading them. The important part is, however, that I was able to think one more time after reading the stories. Like the equation ¡®classic = boring = long lasting,¡¯ these stories are also boring but long lasting. Yet, I still haven¡¯t got my answer about my identity, I do not think that I wasted my time on useless stories like I did before. I guess my journey in searching for my identity cannot be easily obtained especially by reading other people¡¯s experience.
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