| Cheyain agrees 110% on that one. Lavicka says: are you afraid of your partner or their physical strength or power over you? Shadowman looks to Beethoven... at times :) Lavicka says: sounds silly that someone would have to stop and ask themselves that, but for those in an abusive relationship, it sometimes is hard to look at things from the outside. Lavicka says: in a healthy bdsm relationship, the answer to that should always be no. there should be no need to be afraid of the other person/people you're involved with, as a healthy bdsm relationship should be based on trust... notice i dont say blind trust. Lavicka says: of course, there are times when fear plays a part in roleplay, such as in a rape fantasy scene or something of that nature. but REAL, honest fear should never be a part of play or life. Lavicka says: does your partner threaten, strike or sexually assault you in anger? Sherry moves to be more comfortable Lavicka says: very important point there... in anger. Lavicka says: a dominant that strikes in anger is one to be feared, imho. Lavicka says: anger should at no time be part of play. if you are angry, talk about it. take a walk. go for a drive. Lavicka says: but never, ever attempt to start or proceed with a scene. Lavicka says: if someone is striking without prior negotiation, it is abuse. Lavicka says: plain and simple. Lavicka says: physical contact intended to cause pain is something that should ALWAYS be negotiated BEFORE a scene starts. Lavicka says: if it wasn't negotiated, it isn't consensual. Lavicka says: it's that simple. Cheyain nods nods nods. Lavicka says: threats ouside a scene should always be taken seriously. Lavicka says: as should sexual assaults. Lavicka says: there is never an excuse for someone forcing someone into a sexual act without their consent. Lavicka says: and remember, we assume that if it's happening inside a scene, it was negotiated and therefore consensual. Lavicka says: if it wasn't, you have a problem and need to stop at once to discuss this. Lavicka asks: any questions so far? Lavicka says: sorry for going so long. Cheyain asks: ? Shadowman says: None here... just taking it all in Lavicka asks: yes, chey? Cheyain asks: Where does respect come into play? Lavicka says: either ive put everyone to sleep or theyre too rivetted to speak Lavicka will cover that in a few minutes :) Kerr grins Cheyain grins and shuts up for now. Lavicka asks: anyone else? Beethoven says: hehe Shadowman says: its ok Chey :) |
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