| Beethoven shakes her head no Lavicka continues Lavicka says: another question... Lavicka asks: are you allowed healthy, outside relationships with family and friends? Cheyain winks at Shadowman. ;-} Lavicka says: someone trying to keep you from having friends or contact with family members is someone with something to hide. Shadowman says: hehe... *grin* Lavicka says: i can think of no reason why someone should not be allowed relationships outisde their bdsm relationship. kethry says: that should be a big eyeopener for any relationship Lavicka says: you would think so... but youd be amazed how many dont catch that very thing. Lavicka says: interaction with others is how we grow and learn about being a better person. Lavicka says: it gives us a place to go when things are bad and we need a shoulder to cry on Lavicka says: and someone to rejoice with on happy occassions. Lavicka says: if someone is trying to 'keep you all' to themselves, there is something to be wary of. Cheyain thinks how fresh that is in her own life. Lavicka says: someone not allowed outside relationships with others not only is 'keeping you' to themselves, but is making sure you have nowhere to go and no one to help when things get bad enough that you notice and need a place to go. Lavicka asks: cut off from the world, where are you going to run except right back into the arms of an abuser? Lavicka says: next question: Lavicka asks: does your partner invalidate your feelings and opinions? Lavicka asks: do you have the right to speak freely and express your feelings without fear of physical or mental retaliation? Lavicka says: everyone is entitled to feelings and opinions. even submissives. Lavicka says: these make us human and give us a feeling of self worth. Lavicka says: what we think and feel is what makes us who we are. Lavicka says: in a healthy bdsm relationship, feelings and opinions should not only be welcome, but asked for on occassion. Lavicka says: someone who doesn't want to know what you think or feel about things isn't someone i would want to spend much time with. Beethoven says: me neither Lavicka says: if someone is telling you to keep your mouth shut, keep your feelings to yourself or 'your opinion matters only when i give it to you', take a good, long look at your relationship. kethry says: ughh I'd rather be alone Lavicka says: next question... Beethoven says: lord yes Cheyain agrees with kethry Lavicka asks: does your partner accept responsibility for his or her own actions? Lavicka says: its somethin we all learn to do Lavicka says: but if you constantly hear 'it's your fault i hurt you', 'you brought this on yourself', or 'you made me need to do this', the answer is obviously no. |
| Ice Fire |
 |
| BDSM vs Abuse Page 3 |