| Lavicka says: the only favor you're doing is for them, not you. Cheyain agrees sooooo much. Lavicka says: the more you lie, the easier you make it for you to be a target of abuse. Lavicka says: and remember, we're talking about covering up to those who are IN the scene... those who would understand marks already. Lavicka says: next question: Lavicka asks: have you noticed negative changes in appearance or emotional welness within yourself? Lavicka says: any time we are stressed or neglecting our needs, our bodies will tell us. Lavicka says: it's up to us to listen. Lavicka says: if you notice a sudden loss or gain of weight, you seem to cry at every turn, you feel hopefless or alone... Lavicka says: these are all signs that something is wrong in your world. Lavicka says: if you feel that you cannot turn to your partner when you need help, for whatever help that might be, then this isn't someone you should be planning on spending your life with. Lavicka says: if you can't count on this person for simple, everyday things, then you surely don't want to be depending on them for the more serious things in life. Lavicka says: someone who cares about you and your well being is most likely going to notice changes in you before you notice them yourself. Lavicka says: and someone who invalidates these changes obviously doesn't have your best interest at heart. Lavicka says: next question: Lavicka asks: do others outside the relationship (friends or family of your partner) warn you against this person? Lavicka says: we all hear bad things about those we are getting involved with... its unavoidable. nobody is perfect. Lavicka says: but if several people are telling you the same sort of things, maybe you need to listen and investigate a little. Shadowman nods Cheyain nods too Lavicka says: one ex girlfriend or boyfriend telling you how rotten and mean they were to them isn't going to say much other than that person is resentful and hurt. Lavicka says: several people saying the same is a warning sign. Lavicka says: if these warnings come from your partners family members, you should definitely be listening. Lavicka says: things such as 'he/she sure goes through a lot of partners' or rumors about abusive play habits or bans from clubs due to excessive behavior are definite signs of a person to be wary of. Lavicka says: investigate... even if you feel silly doing so. Beethoven exclaims: i passed silly a few years ago! kethry says: I'd rather be silly but safe Lavicka says: of course, not all such statements are true and we need to be aware of this as well. Beethoven smiles! Lavicka says: but if you do some research and find such statements to have some validity, then you need to rethink your decision to be with this person. Shadowman waves ;) Beethoven stands and stretches. |
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| BDSM vs Abuse Page 5 |