I speak of this twinpolar mood disorder of mine,
when peaks of feelings hold my soul hostage,
when oceans of thoughts wash away like rain
and mud racks build over small heartaches;
like traffic signals that do not change,
and rain clouds perennially hovering,
I try to look for the sun and it doesn't show at all.
On chromosomally slights of pain,
slowly hardening and blocking my nerve endings,
I tread cautiously;
For there's no end in sight
and I twitch and turn in my bed overnight
torturing my head, where'd I made a mistake
in decisions that had long been made.
I try hard to smoothen my mind muscles,
telling myself, "Forgive and forget,"
the causative agents did not intend to inflict nor infect
but the effects could not be erased;
If I could only turn back time,
I'd probably would not have decided harshly
nor have wasted my time in such trivial matters
but they seemed relevant during those times
and only GOOD could have resulted if I dont hesitate,
but voices prevailed and now they mock me,
for making those mistakes.
Now I'm marooned in my own island,
abandoned forever because I don't belong
or don't care to change, or both;
Deep within my soul tells me
there's a higher reason for being in my position,
to break tradition, seek solace in silence,
and let rivers flow to their destination;
For my drummer just pauses, to replenish
his energy and renew strength,
to wait for the celestial signal to proceed again
and let me march on.....
copyright@2002
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