The Cham people of An Giang Province are Islamic and have to observe Islamic rules in their daily life, — and their marriages.

           And not least their custom – the Lakhah – is no exception.

           A Cham girl attaining puberty, usually around 15 has to be secluded. She is not allowed to move freely – not to have contact with men.

         Her daily activities are to be carried out indoors. When she goes out she must be chaperoned by a married and middle-aged woman and she can only attend banquets with people who know her.

          Cham girls usually work at weaving, embroidery and sewing. Some are traders or fish-net makers. Most of them learn their ethnic language – the cham-malayu, but quoc ngu, or the Vietnamese national language, has become more popular.

          That seclusion is loosening: Cham girls are graduating from universities – a far cry from 40 years ago when that seclusion was the norm.

          On that maturity: The Nukdaga Cham girls are considered as central to their families – given priority in dressing and adorning themselves, and in attending festivals and those banquets.

          But before going to those ceremonies they are ordained to embellish themselves, aided and urged by their families. The point is simple – matchmaking. That’s aided and abetted by their mothers looking for the Right One for their sons. So as there has been a wedding, so too will follow engagements.

         But there’s a ritual. If a boy’s mother or aunt feels content with a girl, she will ask a "prestigious woman" to go to speak to the girl’s family about a possible match-making. And if the latter gives consent the engagement ceremony will be held on any day of the week except the third day – that is believed to be unlucky.

          For the engagement ceremony the bridegroom’s family brings to the bride’s family a tray of cakes, tea, sugar, milk and assorted fruits. Members of both families and neighbours act as witnesses, but – interestingly without the presence of the groom.

          When the two families agree on the conditions and date of the marriage all present raise their arms and pray to Allah for blessings. The engagement ceremony is achieved at the end of the prayers.

          The wedding proper is held according to the seasons, but normally after Ramadan, the Islamic fasting month, or Haji, the Islamic New Year Festival, and in bright moon nights – making it easier for Cham girls to attend.

           The wedding night –also called the "girl’s night," or Malam anuk dara, – is also important. Not surprisingly.

          Come with us now to the "wedding room" otherwise known as the "conjugal room" – always resplendently and colourfully decorated.

           But before that celebration of marriage the fathers of the groom and bride must carry out a ceremony called "kabol" – where the bride’s father actually marries off his daughter and is witnessed by co-religionists and clergy. Then the wedding, the pairing, is officially acknowledged.

           Then that morning, normally from 8 to 9 there is a procession to accompany the groom to the bride’s home in an animated and colourful show of affection.

          It’s normally headed by a group of women, the mu mu, maây maây, in multi-coloured shawls. They’re followed by village-elders, the oâm oâm, wearing striped or plaited trousers. Then, and usually, three boys about 10 years old wearing white hats and carrying trays of betels and areca-nuts, toped with bananas, rice and cakes. That impressive procession is accompanied by the sound of drum-beats and singing.

           But then: enter the groom. He becomes central to the procession – either by car or foot and usually under the shade of a large colourful umbrella. With him go his friends – the best men – singing and drumming.

           But it’s not all quiet on the bridal front: The bride’s home also resounds to the sound of music, the sound of the songs and drum-beats as a response to the procession. Then groups of elders, men and women of the bridegroom’s party are received – but separately.

           Then the groom is led to the conjugal bed where the bride is sitting. He raises his arm and takes one of the three hair-pins on the bride’s head symbolizing the maidenly flowers, then lightly places a on her forehead to symbolically show the power of the husband. Feminists would be outraged – but it’s tradition.

          Then he sits cross-legged on the bed beside the bride while prayers from the relatives and friends fill the house ... for the happiness of the young – and now – married – couple.