I thought that all four of my fans across the world would like to know a little more about the man behind the legend. So here's how I falsely answered a questionaire I stole from someone else's web site. It's supposed to be funny, but it's probably not.
| Name: | Nic |
| Full Name: | Nic: World's Greatest Lay |
| Aliases: | Mr. Cunnilingus |
| D.O.B.: | 7.4.1776 |
| Sex: | Male, I think, let me check, hey where'd my..., oh there it is, yep male |
| Hair Color: | Bald |
| Eye Color: | Clear: Glass Eyes |
| Height: | Varies whether I'm standing or sitting down |
| Weight: | That's a question you never ask a lady |
| Blood Type: | C |
| Who Named You: | That one dude |
| Father's Name: | Time |
| Mother's Name: | Earth |
| Place Of Birth: | Where I was born |
| Astrological Sign: | No Right On Red |
| Sexual Orientation: | Left |
| Tattoos: | I have all the Ham Hams from Hamtaro on my back |
| Best Character Trait: | I'm sexy |
| Worst Character Trait: | I'm sexy |
| Best Physical Trait: | My pinky toe |
| Worst Physical Trait: | My big toe |
| Associated Color: | Grue |
| Celebrity I Am Most Like: | God |
| My First Act As President Will Be: | Annual "Sex the Prez" Day |
| TV Show I Would Love To Star In: | Cops |
| My Worst Fear: | That someone is dumber than I am |
| # Of People Are On My Buddy List: | Buddy this |
| Stuffed Animals: | Does taxidermy count? |
| Something I Do That Pisses People Off: | Give funny answers to questions |
| What I'm Thinking Right Now: | Damn this thing is long |
| What I Eat: | I'm not touching that one |
| When I Wake Up: | Whenever the girl kicks me out of bed |
| When I Go To Sleep: | 2 minutes after I "arrive" |
| # Of Pillows: | Do girls count? |
| Phrase I Over-Use: | "Yo Daddy" |
| What I Do When I'm Bored: | You |
| Relationship With Parents: | I have a pedophilic Edipus Complex. I want to kill my son and sleep with my daughter |
| I Look Like: | You Sound |
| I Have Respect For: | No one |
| My First Car: | Hot Wheels! |
| Most Embarrasing CD I Own: | Aol 1000 Free Hours |
| Most Prized Posession: | Hello Kitty vibrator |
| I Treasure: | Hello Kitty vibrator |
| I Hate: | Hate is such a strong word |
| Something I'm Looking Forward To: | Whatever is in front of me |
| Last CD I Bought: | Bought? |
| Last Movie I Saw In The Theatre: | Bambi |
| Last Time I Cried: | Cried "wolf" maybe |
| Last Time I Was Sick: | I'm always "sick". |
| Last Person I Called: | The Ghostbusters |
| Last Thing I Said: | The Ghostbusters, what did you forget already? |
| Last Time I Had A Serious Talk: | I'm never serious |
| Last Time I Laughed: | When was the last time I saw your face? |
| Last Time I Made Someone Laugh: | No one laughs with me, they only laugh at me |
| I Believe In Reincarnation: | I've lived more in one lifetime than most people live before obtaining |
| I Believe In Angels: | I'm here aren't I? |
| I Believe In Aliens: | Of course I do. It was a great movie |
| I Believe In Accidents: | That's how I was born. |
| I Believe In Fate: | You know what they say, "Fate is just Fat with an 'e'" |
| I Believe In Ghosts: | Another great movie, there were thir13en |
| I Believe In Santa: | I worship Santa |
| I Believe In Myself: | "I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky" - That Child Molester Guy, Not him the other one, the one that's still black |
| My Personal Beliefs On...: | It's all good |
| What I Think Of When I Hear "Chicken": | "Finger Lickin' Good" |
| What I Think Of When I Hear "Love": | It's a love-hate thing |
| What I Think Of When I Hear "Laura": | Bush |
| What I Think Of When I Hear "Guys": | Depends on what they are saying |
| What I Think Of When I Hear "Movies": | Stealing |
| What I Think Of When I Hear "Shopping": | Six finger discount, hey I can't help it I was born that way |
| What I Think Of When I Hear "Death": | A very rusty sickel, he really needs to clean that thing |
| Life Is Like: | A box of chocolates: expensive and with too many choices |
| Dreams: | Are reality and reality is the dream |
| The Sweetest Thing: | Was a movie where I got to see Cameron Diaz go down on Christina Applegate |
| Video Killed: | The Porno Mag |
| Hard Times: | I'm not touching that one either, maybe that's why it's still hard |
| I Have Smoked: | I've smoked something |
| I Have Had Sex: | "Warrior that terrifies, it's N.I.C., virgin 'till the day I die" - Sung to the tune of D & D by Stephen Lynch |
| I Have Flown In A Plane: | Mile High Club, dissregard that last line |
| I Have Gone To Church: | It burns! |
| I Have Read The Bible: | It still burns!. |
| I Have Been Friends With Someone No One Else Liked: | I'm friends with me |
| I Have Stayed Up Till 4am On The Phone: | Yes, But I probably started the call at 3:55am |
| I Have Tipped Over A Port-A-Potty: | I've been tipped over in a port-a-potty |
| I Have Gone Skinny Dipping: | How do you dip foor skinnies? Is that like bobing for apples, but with skinny people |
| I Have Said, "I love you", And Meant It: | Meant it? Damn, so close. |
| I Have Broken The Law: | Shh |
| I Have Been Convicted Of A Crime: | Shhhh |
| I Have Bungee Jumped: | Snap!, No |
| One Thing Nice About Someone I Miss: | To the person in my cross-hairs: Could you slow down some. P.S.: And a little less up and down movement when you walk. |
| One Thing Nice About The Person Who Sent You This: | I stole this, so I guess I'll say, "Thanks for being an easy target." |
| Parting Thought: | I pretty much did this whole thing for one person. (Twice) |