This is the best Christmas Wishlist ever!

Click to hear Dickey's Christmas List

Dear Santa,
My name is Dickey.
Here is a list of things I want for christmas, this year.
Page 1.

I want a BMW and a brand new Hummer.
I don't want Jessica Simpson to get any dumber.
I want the Olsen twins to finally turn 18.
I want to pay less than 30$ for gasoline.
I want Colin Farrel to meet a girl and not pop her.
I want Jesse James to build me a West Coast Chopper.
I want free Starbucks coffee for the rest of my life.
I want Christian Slater to stop getting beat up by his wife.
I want Natalie Maines to shut up and be quiet.
I want Dr. Phil to go on his own diet.
I want a surround sound system and two Lazy Boy recliners.
I want Michael Jackson to stop sleeping around with minors.
I want TiVo so I can record live tv and pause it.
I want Clay Aiken to go ahead and come out of that closet.
I want to go caroling and spread some holiday cheer.
I want somebody to give Rosie O'Donnell a mirror.

Now Santa, I know I'm no kid, hell I'm pushing 30.
And my actions are questionable and sometimes my language is dirty.
But if you listen closely I'm sure that you'll see
That the things that I'm asking for don't just benifit me.
So big man, get comfy. We're about half way through
My Christmas list. Page 2.

I want to go on that Oprah show when she gives out all her favorite things.
I want Britney Spears to do a performance where she actually sings.
I want Courtney Love to spike my holiday eggnog.
I want Jennifer Lopez to sit on my yule log.
I want all the hungry people in the world to get some food.
I want to see pictures of that chick from 24 in the nude.
I want peace on earth and glory to God.
A hotrod, a hot broad, a pimp wad, and an iPod.
I want to get paid to sit around and watch tv.
I want the Paris Hilton porn on dvd.
I want to know what "brown" can do for me.
I want Ashton Kutcher to get Punk'd.
I want Ruben Studdard to skip a lunch.
I want a PDA and a Segway.
I wanna be Pam Anderson's bra for a day.
I want Cognac, an fifth of Jack, a digital camera from Kodak.
I don't want anymore soldiers killed in Iraq.
I want Whitney and Bobby to stop smoking crack.
I want everyone to go to dickeyusa.com
And get someone you love a copy of this cool little holiday song.
And Santa, if you only grant me one wish this year
Then please, for the love of God, stop these fucking bells.