When I was little, I had a dog named Spotty. (He was named that because he liked playing tag) He was the bestest dog in all the world. And then one day Spotty got hit by a car and died. I cried like I never cried before. That night, as my dad was tucking me in to bed, he told me not to worry. That tomorrow, when I woke-up, I’d find Spotty alive and well sleeping on the end of my bed. That night, I barely slept a wink, but finally drifted off until morning. When I woke-up, the first thing I did was look at the foot of my bed, but Spotty wasn’t there. I ran into my dad’s room, and told him that Spotty wasn’t back. My dad just laughed and replied, "April Fools".
My dad loved me so much that he bought me a pet fish as a pet one day. He told me that it was a magical fish called a piranha and that it could only be fed by hand, so I did. It was after that little episode when I began thinking maybe my dad didn't love me as much as I had once thought.
I’ve had a lot of annoying stuff happen to me in life, but nothing has ever been as annoying as much as the time my dad tried to get me to dismember my sister.
The best time ever was when Dad took me on one of his road trips for business. I remember how I loved looking out the window and watching the trees go by with the wind in my face. Dad told me, "Hey son, how about you stick you head out of the car window and take the breeze in. It feels really nice against your face." At first I wouldn't do it, but he made me feel more comfortable by sticking his own head out the window. So I decided, what the hey, and stuck my head out. And it really did feel nice, that is until Dad started rolling the window up. Right before I was about to pass out, the cops pulled us over. I don't really think I have any memories of Dad after that.
One of my dad's sisters on his father's side used to threaten to kill herself all the time because she said that if she wasn't here, no one would miss her. Well, she was right.