Man, this one time I was driving down the road and this freakin' pterodactyl just straight up flies right into my window and just freakin' sits down in the passenger's seat like he freakin' owns the place, then out of know where he pulls this stogy out and starts puffin away, right before he grabs the wheel like he knows how to drive and almost runs us right off the road. I had to freakin' box the son of a bitch out of my car. That pterodactyl better never try anything like that again!
Crazy, this one time I was in Jamaica on a mission trip, and me and Tom Pestak were walking out of this house and low and behold that freakin' pterodactyl is sitting right on the front porch smokin' ganja like he freakin' owns the place. He's like "Como esta bitches!", and I'm like back in the house without a blink with the door locked, and Tom Pestak's stuck out on the porch with old you-know-who. I yell out the window, "Get off my front porch you spineless basterd!" That's when he gets up and just starts pounding Tom Pestak in the face a few times before just flying off like nothing happened. That pterodactyl, smoking ganja and doesn't even offer me any!
Dude, the other day I was just chillin' on my couch watchin' TV, when all of a sudden that damned pterodactyl just comes fluttering from my kitchen heading towards my bedroom munchin' on my baloney san'mich (I don't like baloney but that's besides the point). I jump up and yell, "Get your damned hands off my san'mich, pterodactyl!" He just stands there with a dumb look and his face before he's all like, "I'm not a pterodactyl! I'm a freakin' pteranodon! Pterodactyls don't have boney crusts on the back of their heads, you idioto!" I had enough of his bullshit, so I grabbed him by his stupid boney crust and threw his ass out on the street. That pterodactyl, he's just going to push me too far one of these days!
OK, so this one time I had these pants right, that my crazy auntie bought me that were to big…or small, I can't remember which, but anyways, like I walk into the store and tell them I want to return these preposterous pants, that are preposterously sized. And they just laugh at me like I'm some kind of idiot. Well, needless to say I had to beat the guy in his chops a few times till he was in a retarded state before he took them back. So then I began my return venture home, and when I finally got there you would never believe who was sitting in my living playing my video games, now other but that damned pterodactyl and the pair of pants that I had just returned! I couldn't believe it. I was like that, "That's it pterodactyl, I've had enough of you!" Then reached in my pocket and pulled out my pistol and blew both of their brains out. That pterodactyl, you should have stopped while you were ahead dude, should have stopped while you were ahead!