Chapter Twenty

Nicole knocked on Kevin's door and waited for an answer. She began thinking of how she would say anything. He opened the door and stared at her. She, in turn, stared at him, waiting for him to say something, anything. She finally broke the silence; "Can I talk with you?"

He sighed, "With me, or at me?" He had bitterness in his voice.

She thought for a moment, wondering what his problem was. "As much as I like being a supreme bitch and talk AT people, I also enjoying a two-sided conversation. So that would be WITH you."

He rolled his eyes and moved away from the door to let her in. He sat on the bed, "Shoot."

"First of all, what the hell is your problem?" He asked what and she answered, "Hitting AJ?"

"He deserved it. He saw it coming."

"No, he didn't see it coming, but ok. Believe what you will. How about, why did you hit him?" She was hoping he would, or even could, admit to some feelings now to make what she had to say easier.

"He's offensive. It's been a long time coming." Nicole sat wide-eyed in disbelief of Kevin talking about AJ in this way. "He attacked my relationship and Kristin."

"Oh, then maybe she's the one who deserves to be hit."

"What?"

She sighed, "Nevermind."

"Look, if you're going to harass me, I don't wanna hear this."

She sat down on the edge of the bed. "No, that's not why I came here. I wanted to tell you. You wanted to know, so I'm here to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"About last night."

"Ok, I'm listening." He seemed to lighten up a little from this point. He sat and listened to Nicole explain, briefly, about Scott asking her to quit so they could have a relationship. A serious relationship. She never mentioned about her thinking of Kevin. "Well, what do you want?"

"I want to stay here, but I want to be back in a relationship."

"A relationship with him?"

"Well, I do miss him, but I don't know if that's just because we had a lot in the past."

"And your parents seem to like him."

She responded in a flat tone, "They love him."

He seemed to strain with all of his questions. "Do you?"

She saw a slight gleam with hope in his eyes. "We had a lot together. I think it would be hard not to." That gleam disappeared and turned into disappointment.

Kevin got up, walked over to the counter and refilled a glass that was sitting there half-full of alcohol. "So you're decided."

"What?"

"You want him. He wants you. It's not that hard to decide this."

"It isn't?" She was surprised with what he was telling her.

"Nope. Just go live your life in your lil' suburb and date the model you love and live happily ever after."

She was in shock, "Have you been drinking?"

"Maybe. Just a little."

"How many have you had?"

"Um, four."

Her voice shrieked, "Since you got up here?" He nodded his head. She shook her head, walking over to him as he took the fifth drink as he cocked back his head. He pulled out the bottle to fill up the glass again. She took the glass from his hand. "Kev-"

"What? You want to be happy, you'll be happy. You can go be happy for all us shmucks. Now you can leave us all behind." He snatched the drink from her hand. "Now go call your pretty boy, love of your life, and stop telling me all these problems of yours."

She grabbed the glass from his hand and threw it against the wall. The shattering glass was loud and Kevin flinched once the pieces hit the floor.

"What are you doing?" He seemed madder that she had just ruined his drink than anything else.

"I am sick and tired of this Kevin."

"Oh, you're sick and tired?"

"Yeah." Both their voices were becoming louder.

"Of what?"

"I'm tired of standing by, watching you be miserable with the same bitch that makes me miserable. I've kept this all up too long and I can't stand by and be your friend when you can't respect me enough to be honest with me."

"Oh, so how am I not honest with you?" He was talking with his hands to mock Nicole.

"Because, you can't admit there are feelings here."

"What? Assholes can't keep secrets. AJ told you that, didn't he?"

"No, you just did."

He paused, realizing how she trapped him in. "Well, what do you want from me?"

"I want to know how you could give your love to someone else and share your dreams with me?" She got the line from a song she heard earlier that day, reminding her of this relationship.

"Great Nicole. Now you're quoting Vanessa Williams. Can't you be original? Something I've never heard before." He was pushing her and she had more anger than care for him at this moment.

"Fine, here's something I'm sure you've never heard. I don't want to leave because I love my job, and I love all of you guys. And you were wrong when you said Scott wants me and I want him."

"Oh I was, was I?"

"Yeah, you were. He wants me, but I want you." His face dropped as he watched her face turn from fierce anger, to passion and care. "The whole time I was at dinner with him, all I could think about was you and what you were doing. That's why I couldn't tell you last night when you came by. And then this morning … when you told me my eyes were green, I wanted to argue they were blue. But, I loved the look we shared and I didn't want to ruin that moment."

He sat in awe and responded softly, looking into her eyes, "They are green." He seemed to be ignoring all her other statements.

"And I didn't want you to leave this morning. I've never wanted to leave in the mornings. I wish we could just sit and talk for hours about anything, but nothing. We only talk when we have a problem."

He waited for her to finish, and when she seemed like she was, he asked, "Is that it?"

She breathed deeply, "Yeah, pretty much. Well besides the fact that I have a deep, dark hatred for your girlfriend. Yeah that's it."

"Wow," he spoke as he walked back over to the bed to sit down. "I can't say I've never had a few of those thoughts myself." He sighed and looked down as he ran his hands through his dark, messy hair. "I don't know what to say." He sighed again and thought. He looked up at her seeing no particular expression on her face. She was waiting for him to speak after she had rambled.

"Well, you want to talk about anything, but nothing. Let's talk." She sat down on the bed across from him, but felt uncomfortable. He looked at her, waiting for her to speak. "So."

"So."

"Sew buttons?" He looked at her with a slight smirk, trying to break the tension.

She swung at him, to playfully hit him. "Shut up. That is about THE stupidest thing you have ever said."

"THE stupidest?"

"Pretty much, well besides half of the All I Have To Give Conversation Mix."

"Come on. You don't think I hear about that enough do you?"

She laughed, feeling at ease. "Hey, you're the ones who were cheesy enough to do that."

He chuckled back, then changing the subject, "So how was dinner with your parents?"

They continued talking about her family then proceeded to talk about his. They eventually fell asleep on the bed, together, again.