Cage

by Gally

~part two~

(Die's diary)

Undated – 6:00PM

Argh…I screwed up at practice again…damn it! I can’t getthat “Cage” song
right! Maybe it’s cause I’m getting toodistracted by that fucking bassist.
Why the hell does hegotta look so cute and perky all the time? Crap! I’m
evenstarting to dream about that little bastard.

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh…!!! I gotta get him out of my head! Outof my system!!! But
maybe if I could have him just once,maybe this obsession will go away. Just to
have him fuckme once, fuck me so hard that I’ll wanna scream my lungsout…so
hard that I won’t even be able to breathe. I wannahave his inside me and I
wanna fuck him too… I wanna eathim and hear him moan and squeeze his balls and
have hiscum all over me…fuck it… I want him!!! Or maybe I shouldjust stop
fantasizing…

Crap! Why does ha hafta look all smug and nice with thatass Kaoru… I hate him
so much…wonder what they do togetherat night…wonder if they’ve fucked yet…
What the hell, ofcourse they’ve fucked… They probably tie each othertogether
and play around with whips and cuffs for Christ’ssake… it’s not fair! Dumbass
guitarist thinks he can haveeverything he wants just cause he’s that
fuckingbandleader! Argh! How dare you take over Toshiya foryourself? You
really think that you deserve him???

Then again…I don’t deserve him either…

I wonder if Shin-chan is suspecting anything…hope it’s nottoo obvious…

Fuck! This doesn’t work at all, I love him so much, buthow can I be so
troubled by Toshiya? How could I lovesomeone so much and want someone else so
badly??? God…Ifeel so guilty… Nowadays, every time I’m with Shinya, Istart
thinking about touching Toshiya. Oh man, I want himjust once…just once and
maybe it’ll be enough…

Poor Shin-chan though, how can I do this to him? How can Ilet myself be so
unfaithful towards him…? It’s not thatShnya’s not pretty or not good enough
for me…that would bethe stupidest thing for anyone to say. But Toshiya
isToshiya…he has this animal magnetism to his body…every timehe moves it just
screams of sexuality. Fuck! I gotta gethim outta my mind! I can’t take it
anymore! I gotta pullmyself outta this torture…gotta have more control…

Practice…hmm…practice guitar now, maybe it’ll distract me abit and calm me down…

Undated – 10:00PM

Oh! Finally starting to get “Cage” right…but it’s stillkinda crappy, Kaoru is
gonna yell at me again tomorrow,like with his dumb arrogant tone there:
“What happened? Did you miss practice again?”
“Nonono…I was too busy fucking Toshiya in my mind…”

Ha! I wish I could answer that tomorrow, just to piss himoff and see his loser
expression! Then I could go and ripthat pretty dress off Toshiya and suck him
dry there infront of Kaoru…haha… The jealous look that he’d have onhis face!

Fuck! Back to thinking about Toshiya again…just can’t gethim outta my head;
it’s even worse at practice, especiallywhen he’s playing bass in “Cage”. The
way he leans hislegs forward, and in that dress of his, fuck I can seeexactly
what his legs are like under… That guy has toomuch effect on me…! The way his
arms move when he’splaying that bass of his…damn! I wish he were playing me…

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! I can’t believe how guilty I feel!!! Ijust wanna bang my
head on the fucking wall until I passout or die or something... This is not
normal…to be withShinya and love him so much and to dream of Toshiya’s
bodyevery night… Fuck! I’m not some stupid teenager anymore,I wanna control
these damn hormones…I should be able to,right? Yeah…but should and could are a
long way from eachother…

I’m gonna go crazy if I continue like this…

I know that I write the same crap every night, but I can’thelp it… I feel so
helpless. I want Toshiya outta mymind…I just wanna be happy with Shinya…so God
help me, letme live in peace!

***

~Gally~

to be continued...


email author

back to fics page