the first letter, the last letter

by Kurara

***
Part 4

//I know he's the only one that can help me here...// Jun stood in
front of the apartment, hand lifted, preparing to knock, but still not
knowing just what his words would be. He took in a deep breath. //I'll
wing it. He always seems to know what we're thinking anyway.// He
knocked on the door and waited, fidgeting nervously and chewing up the
inside of his mouth. //Answer... please...//

To Jun's relief, the door was opened and Takeo peered out. "Hey Jun...
sorry, Kirito wouldn't let me answer the door. He said you looked like
you needed to pee."

Jun simply bit back the urge to cry as he looked at Takeo. "Can... can
I talk to him?"

Takeo stepped aside and Kirito looked him over. Before Jun could open
his mouth, Kirito took his hand and led him to the couch, sitting them
side by side. Takeo went off to make tea for Jun and left the two
alone. Jun opened his mouth to speak, but Kirito put his finger to the
guitarist's lips. "Tell him."

Jun's eyes widened.

"Tell him, Jun." Kirito's eyes burned into Jun's. "Tell him before
it's too late."

Jun nodded. Kirito always knew what was going on, as though he was
psychic. "But... he left... to one that hurts him... he moved out to
there willingly!"

Kirito pondered this for a moment. "We have practice on Monday... he
should come, right?" Jun nodded. "Then, tell him then. And talk to
him. Make sure he doesn't go back there."

Jun nodded and finally, burst out in tears, clutching onto Kirito.

***

Aiji coughed, curled up against the edge of the bed. Suddenly, his
back was hit. "Shut up! I'm trying to sleep." Aiji whimpered at this
and suppressed his coughing, though he still felt like he was choking
from the actions his mouth had to take that night. He bit his lip and
tensed a bit as he felt Kazu's leg wrap around his waist and arm around
his shoulder.

Kazu held onto him and eventually was snoring. Aiji closed his eyes
softly as he tried not to cough again. //This is the best I deserve... I
have to hang onto it...//

//Please...//

A tear slipped from Aiji's eye. //Jun...// He bit back a sob. //This
felt so much better with you... to fall asleep with you...//

//Listen to me Aiji!//

//Why is your voice ringing in my subconcious?// Aiji silently cried,
careful not to shake too much.

***

Jun heard the door to the practice room open and he jumped up. "Aiji!"
He cried out, but then pouted and sat back down as Kohta came through
the door.

Kohta pouted. "I see I'm not loved."

Jun jumped on that and stood up. "No, Kohta, you are loved..."

Kohta blinked. "Jun?"

Jun sighed. "Never think you're unloved. Everyone in this band is
loved."

Kohta put a hand on Jun's forehead. "You sure you're okay enough to be
at practice?"

Jun nodded. "Just... don't forget that." //Don't turn out like
Aiji...// The door opened again and Aiji walked slowly in. Jun saw him and
almost ran to the other guitarist. "Aiji!"

"Hi..." Aiji said while forcing a smile.

Jun suddenly hugged Aiji. "Aiji..." he whispered. "Can I talk to
you... after practice?"

Aiji pulled back. //Kazu said to be right back...// "Gomen ne... I
can't... I have to get back."

Jun bit his lip. //I have to do it during a break...// Jun nodded.
"Okay, maybe some other time." Kirito walked past and Jun looked up.
"Oh! I have to ask Kirito about something. Talk to you later Aiji!"
Jun hugged Aiji quickly (making him cringe in pain slightly) and ran off
to Kirito.

Kirito walked them into a seperate room as he knew Jun wanted to talk
about Aiji. Closing the door, he turned and crossed his arms. "So,
what's your plan?"

"Kirito, I need to have us have a longer break than usual. I have to
tell him then." Jun said in a rush.

Kirito nodded. "I'll start making out with Takeo or something."

Jun smiled. "This doesn't sound like you."

Kirito shrugged. "I'm helping you, so I can seem a bit weird, right?"

Jun nodded. "Arigato."

***

Aiji stood outside during the break, leaning against the railing and
trying to stay standing, but he still hurt in his back greatly. He
sighed and smelled the wind as a breeze picked up.

"Aiji... you look like you're one of those models in a magazine."

Aiji turned to see Jun standing alone. "Jun..."

Jun walked up to the other guitarist and stood next to him. "The sky
looks sad today."

"What?" Aiji turned to face Jun.

Jun smiled sadly and put his arm around Aiji, pointing up to a certain
point in the sky. "It's overcast and the colours seem dull."

"It does look sad."

Jun nodded. "But, look, over there." He pointed to another point.
"There is a break in the clouds, and the sun is trying to get through.
It's not giving up because it knows that there are those who depend on
him and love him. He'll fight to get through the clouds."

Aiji turned his head to Jun. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Jun sighed and looked down. "Aiji... have you ever been in love with
someone, but... haven't been able to tell them?"

Aiji nodded.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Aiji nodded again. "Well, what would you do
if the one person you love more than anything... in your whole life...
was putting themself in danger?"

Aiji stared at Jun, not saying a word.

Jun looked out to the sky again. "You wouldn't know how to solve it,
would you?"

"Jun... I... I wouldn't know..."

Jun gripped the railing. "I... I'm so sad about this... that I want to
die from the pain... but... that won't help anything, will it? If I
throw myself off a building... if I slit my wrists... if I hang myself
from a beautiful tree... none of that will help any. But... every second
I see him in pain... every second he is sad... I become as sad as him
tenfold!"

"Then... why don't you rescue him?"

Jun turned away, not wanting Aiji to see as a tear fell. "He won't let
me..."

Aiji bit his lip and wrapped his arms around Jun's frame. "I'll help
you... if I can..."

Jun turned around and looked into Aiji's eyes, tears coming in streams.
"Aiji..."

Aiji brushed the tears away and held Jun close. "Who is it?"

Jun sniffed and held onto Aiji. "Ai shi... ai shiteru... Aiji..."

Aiji gasped, but continued to hold onto Jun. "Jun..."

"God... Aiji... don't do this..."

Aiji suddenly pushed Jun away from his body. "Don't lie to me..." he
said, his voice shakey.

Jun gasped and looked up through his tears. "What?"

Aiji's hands formed into fists as he tried to subdue his anger. "Don't
lie to me. I know you don't love me. Stop trying to make me think you
do just so I leave Kazu. I'd rather have him strike me harder than he
does now than have you give me false love confessions."

Jun shook his head and reached out for Aiji, who batted his hand away.
"Aij--"

"I'm going back to him. Stop trying to hurt me!" Aiji turned around
and went back to the studio, slamming the door shut as Jun fell to the
ground, burying his face into his hands.

***

"His mobile is off and I don't have the number to his new...
intrest..." Kohta reported to Kirito.

Kirito sighed. "Aiji... where are you?"

Jun bit his lip. "I bet that bastard beat him so much yesterday that
he can't walk..." He looked up. "Kirito... can't we call the police on
this or something?"

Kirito shook his head. "Not until we know where this Kazu lives."

Jun stared at his hands on the table. "Maybe... maybe Kazu will be at
the bar? I can follow him home..."

"No..." Kohta's voice came and Jun looked up. "You can't go alone. If
Aiji is as bad as you say, don't you think that you'll be putting
yourself in danger by going there?"

Jun looked back to his hands. "I don't care. Only Aiji matters. I'm
going to do it."

Takeo's hand landed on Jun's shoulder. "If you are hurt, then how are
you supposed to help Aiji?"

Jun looked down.

"Kohta and I will go." Kirito stated and everyone looked up. "Jun,
you'll go with us to the bar, to point him out, then Kohta and I will
follow him. Then you go home, where Takeo will be, and we'll bring Aiji.
You two should help him with his wounds if he has any and once he's
ready, I'll talk to him and then Jun will."

Jun looked to the vocalist in greatfulness. "Kirito..."

Takeo smiled and looked down to the guitarist. "Aiji is one of
Kirito's friends. No one messes with those Kirito lets to his heart."

Kirito looked up in a "wasn't that a corny statement" look to his face
and Takeo just smiled. "So, we'll start tonight?" He said to Jun, who
nodded. "Okay. We'll meet at your place, then you can take us to the
bar."

***

Jun ran his finger around the rim of the glass as he glanced every so
often to the dance floor, hoping to catch a glimpse of Kazu. He was
slowly getting sleepy and rested his head on Kohta's shoulder. "I hope he
comes tonight..." Jun said in mid-yawn.

Kohta looked down in concern to Jun. "Are you gonna be able to drive
home if you're falling asleep like this?"

Jun slowly pulled his head up. "Caffiene..." He turned to the
bartender. "Nothing alcoholic... but, do you have anything HIGH with
caffiene?"

The bartender looked at him funny. "No... but... I do have some rock
candy some girl gave me..." he laughed. "I hate sweets... here." He
tossed the box to Jun.

"Arigato!" He turned and opened the box, munching away at the
solidified sugar lumps before spitting one out and pointing. "There! There!
In the purple hair!"

"Jun! Most of the people here have purple hair!" Kohta scolded.

"Anou... he has... there's a tattoo on his arm! A long one! Of a
snake! See!" He jutted his arm out further.

Kirito narrowed his eyes. "By the big breasted white and pink haired?"

"Hai!" He cried out.

"Okay. Come on Kohta." Kirito turned to face Jun. "Now, get back to
your place. We'll come back with Aiji, I promise."

Jun nodded and the two walked off, leaving Jun to clutch at his candy
box. //Kami-sama... help them...//

***

Okay! That's enough for tonight... I need sleep...
Anou... You thought they were gonna get together for a minute there,
didn't you? You forgot kurara is writing, didn't you?? hahah. You may
deny it, but kurara knows! c( =
Well, hope you liked and PLEASE COMMENT!!!
Now off to sleepy sleepy so kurara can drive to friends house for
weekend and watch Ai no Kusabi for the ten billionth time...
Jya!
~kurara

to be continued...

email author

back to fics page