"I could not imagine living in a world where I was cut off from
the minds of my own loved ones. I find your world sad and
terrifying. I don’t know how you can help but make the wrong
decisions in your lives when you are cut off from each other like
that. How can you live like this with each person hiding their
thoughts from one another?"
"Maybe because our thoughts are not always very nice. Because in
the privacy of our minds we can think those things that we are
ashamed to let our fellow minds know about...ah,
Pheadeknosses..? Or do I call you Mrs. Fairway? Don’t you have a
first name? If so, can I call you by your first name?"
Yes. I’m called ‘Phea’ by my family. That’s another thing that
puzzles me. Your customs and manners are quite illogical to us
but we are learning to understand some of them or the reasons
for them. For instance, our names. We only have one on my world.
Everyone can know who your are from the first time we meet, down
to the grandparents and before, so what is the purpose of a last
name to identify you with...or is it a first name? And curtesy
is given by allowing the use of a small name when the situation
is called for. A person may have many small names in a life time
as no two people will want to use the small name of someone else
as it is a very personal thing just for them. When you have no
‘secrets’ (as you put it), from each other, social manners
become the ‘oil’ that smooths the pathway for us. But they are
not manners that need to be taught as yours are, and so there is
no fear that one will ever make a mistake about what to do in a
situation.
"There are no secrets in my life, Christopher. But there aren’t
any fears or hatreds either. Nor worries about how we are
progressing in life."
"Do you mean that you all think ‘nice’ thoughts? That because
every one is aware of each other’s thoughts you have progressed
to where you have no secret thoughts? I find that hard to
realize in a way, but I guess that is the kind of world we all
dreamed of having someday. A World where there is no evil."
Phea sat looking at him in wonder. "What is evil?" she asked him
with a strange little smile.
Before Jamison could answer,a scene was thrown onto the patterns
of his mind. As he grasped the full impact of it his jaw dropped
in surprise. He was seeing a scene of himself stretched upon a
soft giving surface and over him and under and melding upon his
body were Phea and five others of both sexes. It was a scene of
utter madness and carnality. What struck him with such force was
the utter abandonment to personal gratefication that was being
shown by those in the scene. As he was forced to watch this in
his mind a realization came to him that seldom was the man of
earth capable of letting go his restrictions and inhibitions in
front of another human to this extent. There was always the need
to have the other partner kept from seeing the true depths of
ones inner feelings. The words of one woman he had known came
back to him with force and understanding. She had said to him,
"I can never fully let myself go, as I always seem to feel like
a spectator at my own affairs. I am always just outside myself,
watching everything I do and afraid I am looking either
ridiculous or ashamed of what I will think of myself later. As a
result I am never toatally experiencing what is happening to my
body." After it was gone from his mind, he sat unmoving and
unable to look at Phea for awhile.
Phea’s smile was gentle as she watched him. "I can only help you
to understand by telling you two story’s. Or rather two
different scenes of the same event and how they would take place
on both of our worlds. Imagine a crowded gathering on Earth
where no one knows what the other is thinking. A beautiful girl
passes by an old man. No one is aware of what the others are
thinking and so each person continues on their individual ways as
if nothing happened except movement.
"Yet something did take place. The old man dreamt for a second of
making love to the beautiful young girl. For one second of time
he was taken up with a dream and desire flowed through his
viens. And then he remembered he was old and ridiculous and he
shrugged and turned away. A little sad, a little regretful. An
incident not worth mentioning in your lives.
"Now picture the same scene on my world where each can live in a
world apart and yet be tuned in to those around them. The young
girl passes by and the old man thinks his thought...and shrugs
because he is too old. But she has seen his thoughts and so have
others. Would you be cruel in front of others? There will be a
quick look from the girl, and maybe a few bystanders will take
an interest out of compassion. The question will be asked of her
by others, "Is it out of the question? Have you time for him?
Does it appeal" And there will be a flow of questions back and
forth to the old man, "What is stopping you? why can’t you?
Physical problems? If she is kind enough to submit to you, would
you? What about it dear, can you accomadate him?" There would be
a flurry of interest in the phenominon about the possibilities
of accomplishing the old mans dreams. Not from the desire to be
a part of some titalation but from the genuine love of each
other and the desire to see him happy. There may even be the
knowledge here that he has lost his interest in the girl long ago
but the fellow interest in his dreams add to all our lives. Even
though the original idea has past it has left him happy that he
not only interested others in his desire but is left with the
feeling that if he really wanted to he could. He no longer turns
away from the idea because of the sadness of impossibility that
would have left him depressed. He may even recieve offers from
those that would accomodate him. There is only joy at sharing a
beautiful dream. And since we all grow old in time; even us, we
are enriched by seeing the future of our lives, where the losses
of age are shared with all and not a burden born in silence.
"How can I be ashamed of my thoughts when I am aware the rest of
my world shares the same thoughts with me. A belch is something
to be ashamed of only if we are the only ones that belch in our
society if belching is a taboo. Let all belch together and it is
nothing but a reaction to a full stomach. What I showed you in
your mind was just one of my thoughts of you. I find you a very
handsome man. Do you feel repelled by that?"
"I think I was shocked by the fact that there were others in your
vision that were enjoying the same vision. I am not a prude,
although I have never taken part in group orgies myself. I guess
I have fantasized about things like that but to see it in my
mind and know it was coming from yours was a shock. Why the
others?"
She shrugged, "They,re loved ones of mine. What is more beautiful
than when we share with our loved ones even in dreams and
fantasies."
Jamison was not too sure how to reply to the answer he recieved
and was content to just sit looking out to the Inlet and try and
sort it all out in his mind. Finally he turned to Phea and
asked her, "Can you tell me about your world, Phea? Or is that
not allowed?"
"I can show you my world, Jamison, if you will trust me for a
little while and not be afraid? We would like you to see our
world."
"You mean take me for a ride in one of your ships?"
"No, not that way. I can open my mind to you and give you my
memories. You would see my world through my eyes, from my past
you would, in a way, be experiancing me. Would that frighten
you?"
"I don’t think that I will ever be frightened by anything you
do,Phea. I don’t know why, but I have a strong desire to trust
you." He shook his head and looked away over the city. "And
that’s a damn fool thing for me to do and say when I think of it.
You’ve stolen our babies from us, one of the most godawful
things to happen to the human race, and taken away our future.
You’ve left us with no reason to live. And yet I sit her, happy
in your presence, a traitor to my race. I don’t know, maybe I’m
bewitched, as they say, and you have be under some kind of spell
or control. Am I?"
"Do you really believe that?" She looked at him steadily with
those strange, all seeing eyes.
"No, I don’t. That was foolish of me to say it. I’ll let you show
me your world for three reasons. At least I can be honest too.
I’m deeply curious. I trust you, and if you must know, I’m like
everyone else on this world at the moment. I have no sense of
caring about my future. I think it’s a form of aftershock from
what’s happened."