R. N. Stewart

Ebb

Say to me
How and why
For all to see
In the red they die
As the old
And the new
Raw, lax and odd
Run off, fly far,
too far to see
All wet and fat
Who gut the eel
Dug the gap
Get a cod
An auk or gar
To now do
An act of war
Aim big but
Try not to sue
Win but yet
Act as you do
Ace the job
Go to the zoo
As you let the mob
In on it too
Oil the car
As you rob the sea
Eat at the bar
A wee bit of me
Irk the ice dry
Go vie on the eve
Of an era you try
Or can it be
On one mad day
You get the key
Hid in the ode
And to all say
Do it now God

The Rainbow

See the clouds
White and gray
Attached to the blue
Like the hair of old ladies
Fresh from the beauty parlor
Black clouds come to undermine
Launching lightning
Like angry hateful glares
Flashing yellow teeth
Seething and biting
Then quickly disappearing
Before you hear
Their bombastic boasts
Next hurling hail
Stinging and chilling
Pingā€¦ pingā€¦ping, pang
PING, PING, PING, PANG!
Then comes the rain
Expelled downward like spit
SPLATā€¦SPLAT, SMACK, SPLAT!
Like the spit
Spat from a sky full of bigots
"And the bow shall be in the cloud."

The Summer of My Life

Like a small pool of stagnant water
Left behind in what was a vivacious, boisterous stream
Days without rain, sun blazoned breezes
And the buzzing of mosquito's
My life, no longer deep, just shallow and murky
You'll get muddy if you step inside me
When will all of me evaporate
Leaving nothing but my dried, cracked soul?

HER KISSES WERE EFFICACIOUS

Her eyes were a revelation
Of dreams, desires and devotion
But never manipulative
Her touch was always assuasive
Her kisses were efficacious

Her tears were rare
Like lawrencium and diamonds
Except when there was too much laughter
And when see saw true pain in others
Her kisses were efficacious

Her smiles moved me
In so many ways
Titillatingly causing me
To alter my ways
Her kisses were efficacious

Now she is gone
Awaiting a resurrection
But I still hear her like a song
How can I ever love again remembering
Her kisses were efficacious

ā€¦A Feasting Presence Full of Light

Her true beauty was far greater than her appearance
While cancer and the cure cut away the outside
She stayed strong displaying virtue and endurance
While others around her whispered and cried
She welcomed their prayers and quietly smiled

My heart longs to hear hers and to feel her smiles
Her laughter still echoes within my soul
But I feel so far away, thousands and thousands of miles
And all those warm memories are growing so very cold
I long for a healing, once more feeling whole

So many promises I let go unfulfilled
Because I thought we would be together forever
Loving each other through this life into a new world
Taking care of the more important things was my endeavor
I confess my failure and my lost precious treasure

Even as years have gone by I still dream of her
Just as I begin to forget the sound of her voice
I see her face, look into her eyes and fall in love once more
But sweet sleep does not last long and I have no choice
Only to awaken all by myself in this very lonely place

Does this kind of love come in only one lifetime?
Or is there one greater that can over shadow all my sorrow?
I am never to know again ecstasy and share what is sublime?
But it is late into the night and there is tomorrow
So I will say my prayers and hope the answers will follow

A Sea of Leaves

Flying, swirling and floating
All browns, reds, oranges and tans
Maples, sycamores, oaks, poplars and more
Crunchy, scratchy and smelling of fall
And only a few weeks before
They adorned the hills and parkways with such brilliance
The dawns were jealous
The sunsets enviously arrived earlier

Naked Smiles

Theirlips like canvases
Poised and painted
Their mouths are the clay of potters
with their long wet tongues
The teeth, white and glistening
Have no bite
They appear motionless
As if fixed in time
A facade, a veneer, a lie
And the sounds they make
Muffled whispers
The laughter of a ventriloquist
There are no ears, nor noses or eyes
Just their naked smiles

A Powerless Night

One a cold, lonely, powerless night
There's no warmth but that of a candle light
A whistling draft invades the room
The candle light dances to its tune
As the rain raps at the window
There's no sleeping, no place to go
So, under bedcovers we hide our fright
One a cold, lonely, powerless night

For An Eternity

We said we would love each other forever
But you have been gone so long
And it still feels so wrong
We vowed 'til death do us part'
But you're still in all my thoughts
I see your face in every place
You will always stay in my heart

I promised to love you for an eternity
Now I await paradise to become reality
It is there you will be
You're the one I long to see
But can it ever be again, just you and me?
Once more, just you and me?

We said we would love each other forever
Even though it been many years
Some days I can't keep back the tears
I see your face in every place
From New York, to Madrid and Paris
We vowed 'til death do us part'
You will always stay in my heart

Joyful Moments

A glance that tells you what she's thinking
Your new baby's tiny smile or was it a grin?
A puppy's wet nose nuzzling under your chin
Boisterous laughter with your closest friend
Eating crab legs, cheese cake or fried chicken
Watching the sun set over a distant mountain
Seeing a double rainbow after a summer rain
Pictures of the one you love and reminiscing
A prayer of thanksgiving and then saying amen

On That Fine Autumn Day

On that fine autumn day of azure skies
White pillowy clouds sail over slowly
I saw two young deer staring back at me
White tails stood tall as they took their leave
Up the red oak tree a gray squirrel
Scampered with stuffed cheeks and curled tail
Down flew a bird I had only seen at the end of winter
It was a robin looking lost and hungry
Searching for a meal under a bare birch tree
Finding the last grasshopper in the whole valley
Suddenly an orange tabby pounced his way
Off the robin flew letting the grasshopper
Survive maybe for yet another day
Through the trees on the mountain
Came the suns setting rays
As I contemplated enjoying
Many more fine autumn days

Tautology

When it's done over and over
Just because you can
Like using Alt edit c
With three strokes of your finger
Or go burn a CD
Even if it's a copyright violation
Need to backup PC
As you add a new fifty gig hard drive
No need for a carbon copy
As you broadcast fax or chat live
And all the email is driving me crazy
How about ancient reruns on TV
Those silly annoying commercials
Enduring last week's leftovers
Listening to great grandfathers
Or all those past due notices
Politician's lies and other vices
The art of doing laundry
Washing all those dirty dishes
And the many times she asks
How much do you really love me?

Viudas de Pena y Pasķon

Old enough to have children grown and on their own
And yet too young to be left all alone
Still hurting from their painful bereavement
They set off searching for a replacement
Hearts once more long to love and be loved
But where is the man like the one they adored?
So many lonely souls wishing for someone to fill the emptiness
One that not only consoles but will bring joy and happiness
But what he desires is not what they possess
So hot are their fires he sees only distress
He is overwhelmed because he sees too many of them
Trying to be empathetic, his hope is growning dim
Is there at least one that can begin to understand him?
Many are as delicate and beautiful as chrystals
But when they are broken they become razors
Their words cutting quickly and their stares stabbing deeply
And for the man ignorant of his crimes they have little pity
So for the widows of pain and passion let us pray
May the God of all Comfort grant them solace this day

Alcazaba

The sky above you is a silky, milky blue
With warm soft rays of golden setting sun
The fragrance of flowers keep flowing
Like pouring perfume on spring waters
Clean, sparkling fresh from the mountains
The vibrant colors of red, yellow, and purple
Reflect in your patio pools and fountains
Now they quietly fade into the shadows
The long shadows of your tall stonewalls
All the descriptive words anyone dare writes
Can never truly capture the magnificence
Of what one witnesses from your towers

Sagrada Familia

Can I ever look deep into your eyes
Or come to know what was on your mind?
I thought I saw your lips begin to quiver
And tears from your lovely, pensive eyes
Could they possibly be not far behind?

Should I be wrong in what I read in your face
Perhaps a reflective introspective moment
Not of sadness or fear, but one of decision
Contemplation of a life far away in a new place
Of love and marriage and many, many children

And I was thinking ,who were you to El Greco?
He expresses what he feels and tells a story
That reads in so many ways to all who see you
A reality that each person comes to know
Revisiting a portrait and seeing it all anew

Gotten Older

How I know I've gotten older
The hairs I am losing off my head
Are now growing our of my ears
And longer out of my nose
And other certain places
My best friend is no longer in
But is my posterpedic bed
It true what they say
About those up in years
I do have that one tooth
That is getting longer
Day after day after day

Spanish Olive Tree

Everywhere in Spain they are there
From Madrid down to Malaga
A single ancient one in a courtyard
To thousands and thousands
Precisely planted on rolling hillsides
Like young men and old men marching
Conquering like an army
Battalions of Cervantes' Don Quixotes
Using branches as their weapons

Suck on the pit or
Pour on the oil
Millions do
All over the world
Without ever getting to see
In equal numbers
The Spanish olive tree

Nonsense

Water plants weeping because there is no rain
A star laughing at a tiny moon in its shadow
Boulders dancing to the music of the dust
An elephant balancing on a grain of sand

Children who are to old to know better
Toothless old men who are not afraid to bite
The little girl that boys dare not tease
The left handed man that forgets that he is

A large city where no one has ever lived
A shallow ocean filled with solid caves
A vast desert where the sun never shines
A single tree in the plush green rain forest

IMAGES OF TOMORROWS

See the lazy lads with many chores
Only wishing to play with their toys

Wondrous things to do for hours
The creation of great adventures

In mysterious places on distant shores
Discoveries behind secret doors

Flying above the clouds with wings
Of towels and convenient things

Or submerged into the ocean deep
With a cardboard box submarine

Rescuing the beautiful princess
From evil lords and witches

More than three score and ten have past
Have the dreams of boys come true at last?

The images of all our tomorrows
Are just reflections of all our yesterdays

A Small Window and Four Doors

I sleep in a room with a small window and four doors
Dreaming of floating and flying past dark green moors
My arms are like wings that lift me high over an open sea
There I stay with the clouds as if gravity had no pull on me
Night falls and I see stars above through the thin, gauzy clouds
Below are the lights of a village on an island
And suddenly and slowly I begin to descend
To the smell of orchids and ocean spray in the wind
I hear music and singing and the laughter of children
Beautiful happy people on an island paradise
But before I can join them and much to my surprise
I encounter telephone poles with many power lines
I realize it just a dream, it happens every time
I awaken from my sleep and my feet touch the floor
I see the stars though the small window in my room with four doors

No Traditional Ideology

Shine your life through a prism
What colors will you see?
Release your soul from its prison
Or it never will be free

Like the urn in a museum
There is no anonymity
When you cause a schism
With little formality

No rites, no catechism
No traditional ideology
Just love and optimism
Using truth as the key

Pure light without cataclysm
For those with humility
Whose lives have reason
With colors God can see

Childhood Memories of Life in France

The big old house in La Rochelle
With a fireplace in every room
The porches and large windows
With long green shutters
The toilet and bath were in
A building outside the house

Little lizards sunbathing
On the large leaves of a fig tree
Never caught one

Large snails crawling on fences
Cooking them in garlic and butter
Using a sewing needle to pull them
Out of their shells

Eating long loaves of bread
With cheese and sometimes chocolate
A breakfast of crepes rolled in sugar
Red, rare horse meat for supper

The Gypsy carnivals
That suddenly appeared
In an open field
A night of lights
Music, games and prizes
The next day they were gone

Madame Suzanne, the goat lady
Who lived on the beach
In an old German bunker
With walls three feet thick
She sold us cheese and babysitted
Being whacked with wet laundry
Is how she punished me

Thousands of giant dandelions
Growing in the white sand

Along the beach during low tide
Walking toward the ocean
Where there was no sand
Just a blackish gray muck
That grabbed your ankles
And wouldn't let you go

solo evening

See me
Vacuous
Pick my mind
An electric guitar
Out of tune
No amplifier
Taste my soul
Fat free
Smell the aura
Uninspiring
Touch me
Comatose

Dust and Ashes

A day of unprecedented destruction
Towers of life, dreams, and transaction
A day when papers with spots of blood
Float across the harbor over the bridge
Shocked and weeping we kept watching
Horrified seeing poor souls leaping
A day of sacrifice, of true heroism
More powerful than any terrorism
Hundreds giving their lives so others
Mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers
Thousands of them thanking the Almighty
For being rescued from this horrid calamity
Through the smoke of this inconceivable crash
The world saw them in each others grasp
No prejudice, animosity or mistrust
They became one baptized in ashes and dust

Purity of Her Love

She let me
Pruned her lofty desires
So we could be
More pragmatic
That spring
She did not blossom
She cried
Like the warm night air
On the blades
Of my ambition

Her support
Assiduous and patient
Carried me
On the wings of a seraph
That summer
She truly was efflorescent
My tears
Filled the vase of her bouquet
Joyously beholding
The purity of her love

Zouaves on the Mount

There is no turning the other cheek
No loving or feeding your enemy
Meaningless phrases
To the holier than thou
Just the usurpation of God
Stealing his vengeance
Apostasing his Word
Choosing who goes to Paradise

Like the seed of weeds
Rage and hate are sown over and over
Reaping more violence, more carnage
Destroying the innocent
Along with the transgressor
And endless cycle of revenge
Marching to the rhythm
Of this morbid lunacy
All in the name of justice
Security and liberty

It is the sword they live by
Raised high as they parade
Dressed in the colors of death
In this unreasonable, illogical pilgrimage
Or should it be called a crusade
Along the way they forgot
To beat their swords into plowshares
Who and where are they?
The blessed peace making
Children of God

Forgotten

Seconds dripping into
The pool of our existence
The sound splashes
Flashes of tiny moments
Light and innocent
Like snowflakes
Falling gently silently
And we feel no cold
Reaching to touch them
With our febrile hands
To taste and savor
Every one that lands
These delicate crystals
Unique ephemeral
Intricate capsules
Like wee mortals
Only to evaporate
Vanish as stranger's faces
Disappearing in us
On various stages
In the naive and
Egregious places
Flowing slowly slipping
Dripping into oblivion
So we imagined
Until a mnemonic moment
When some are rescued
And remembered

My Ponderings

Why am I here writing
What I am imagining or
Describing what I am feeling?
In my mind there's this burning
It's must be an addiction
Enslaved to expressing
All my ponderings until
My eyes cry for sleep

It's the high of dreaming
While awake and aware
Or reliving ecstasies
Anxieties and sufferings
Sculpting into verses
What I have witnessed
The likes of a swinging
Pendulum of emotions

Like love being shattered
Into a million sections
Like slivers of stained glass
Feeling the dark red blood
Of pain, sorrow and misery
As I walk barefooted upon
The impressions left on my heart
By the lyrics of a sad, lonely poet

Or seeing poisoning vials of ignorance
Be neutralized by the light of
Spiritual insight and comprehension
Dare beamed into caves of hatred
By the boldly compassionate
Who bravely engrave words
Of empathetic enlightenment
Upon hearts as hard as granite

I yearn to be one of those
Whose palette of expressions
Paint a world unseen by
By the physical, the naked senses
Igniting the imagination to explode
A panorama of varied sensations
Impaling your being to
The realities of the living

Unicorn Broken

While driving down route 460
One gorgeous sunny day
I saw a little girl riding in a Chevy
Traveling the same way
She could not have been
More than six or seven
Playing with a unicorn
She had a kind delicate face
Gentle full of innocence
Our cars came to a stop at a light
She was in the back on the right
And when my eyes met hers
I saw sadness but no anger
I smiled and I waved
She gave me the finger

Wise Anyone

For
Anyone
Called          Wise
Was          Stupid
At     one         Time
Ignorant       with
No                  Experience
Unwittingly   surviving by
Instinct       and by
The           Love
Of   a
Parent

The patience of a teacher
The    inspiration of a mentor
The    passion of a     lover
The    rage      of a       hater
Until    the passage of   time
With    the molding of the mind
The   pounding of the heart
The     workings of the hand
He went     from stupid to smart

Not in his own   but in others eyes
Now being counted      Among the wise
But it did not have     To be that way
For it is true that        On any given day
The wise can          Become the stupid
Prideful, evil           Cold and vapid

Because                  No matter
How bright             Or dumb
We are                    Mortal
Imperfect               We are human

Sybarite or Stoic

Life's pleasures are temporal
Loosing their potency as we age
Yet why not enjoy them all
Or should we put desires in a cage?

But so many indulge while the can
Epicurean feasting without end
Bacchanalian cries of riotous glee
To sensuous rhythmic melodies

All before the teeth have rotten
Ankles and knees swollen with gout
Bones have been twisted and broken
And the ears and eyes have worn out

O, the heart made joyous many times
Has no rhythm and now murmurs
And those other delicate parts
Now are sagging and have no powers

Does it really make a difference
Whether we are a sybarite or Stoic?
Does how we justify our existence
Add to our lives any more cubits?

Few know whom really to please
Freed from fleshly philosophies
They live the joy of a reverential fear
Finding true pleasure now and forever

Cry for the Children

Cry for the children
Tiny ones who cannot
Because they did not
Have time for eyes
Weep for the babies
Who will never taste
The warm embraces
Of suckled milk
And tender kisses

Cry for the children
Toddlers who cannot
Because they have
No more tears left
Bind their wounds
Twisted little limbs
Undo their bruises
With more than
Christmas toys

Cry for the children
Victims of abuse
Because there is
No one to hear them
Before they are harmed
No one to shield them
From those without love
The cruelest monsters
Sometimes their own dads and moms

Cry for the Children
Those crushed survivors
Who need love strong enough
To protect and make changes
Cry with the children
Before they escape
Into their own little worlds
Do not let them drown
In their own teardrops

Cry for the children
Now all grown up
Who wake up to
Nightmares that were real
Cry for the children
All grown up now
Except for inside
Where terrible memories still live of
A child who wished he was dead

Cry for the children
Tears than can teach them
Compassion and humanity
Cry for the children
Tears of mercy and affection
To show them how to love
So the children can cry
Tears of joy and gladness
From the depths of their hearts

My Heart Dances

I hear music and my heart dances
To the emotions of your movements
To the syllables of your soft whispers
To the rhythm of your many brushes

You are an autumn's sunset over the sea
And the first snow of winter, deep and pure
You are spring's first flowers, bursting with color
And the warmth of summer that fuels my soul

Can I not caress or dare even to touch you
Must you stay in the hands of your caretakers
Only on display as an exhibition in a gallery
Must I stand at a distance just like all the others

My heart is dancing at the very sight of you
Do hear my words beckoning from my verses
I read yours and find you are not aware of me
Yet my heart never tires of seeing your poetry

I read the letters you wrote to me
It was fiction and it was reality
It was all about you with nothing of me
Still my heart danced with every word

Sometimes I think you must really be
As cold as a sculptor's pristine marble
I speak of your virtues in front of you
But you can not see how my heart dances

Please let me gather all your pastorals
And put them in a basket of woven vines
May I plant your pastels in my window boxes?
I beg allow your portraits to dine at my table

Invite me to sit in the pit where the music plays
As you perform a musical composed for the stage
Sing your ballad with that unforgettable melody
Let my heart beat to the rhythm of your dance

It dances like the bow of a master violinist
Feeling the vibrancies of each vigorous stroke
Hearing the harmonies of the orchestral voices
Engulfed within a tempest of soaring sounds

Years later my heart still dances for you
The music and words and all those colors
Have long since faded with passing of time
The memories remain and they are all mine

Eyes of a Child

Peer into the eyes of child
And see time in a different light
Gaze into the eyes of a child
And you will see the future
See through the eyes of a child
And you can revisit the past
Watch the eyes of a child
And the present has purpose
Be seen by the eyes of a child
And see what power they possess
Try to hide from the eyes of a child
And been seen by their x-ray vision
Dry the tears from they eyes of a child
And wipe away droplets of innocence

Quiet Spirit

She is the calm before the storm even as it rages
She is the same with the frail and the outrageous
The Lord of Hosts is the one she loves and fears the most
Her intelligence is unquestioned but she never boasts
Her small lovely hands feel of softness and calluses
Like her large heart but there is no callousness
She walks as if her siblings were the sun and stars
Asked her and she will blast off with you to Mars

Ice Storm on Peak's Knob

Enter a nether world misplaced high upon a mountain peak
A palace ghostly gray in a frozen kingdom hauntingly bleak
Monstrous crystal giants guard this supernal realm
They glimmer of ice worn like a covering of diadems
Here dimly lit chandeliers are hung upside down
Sharp twisted steel sword blades lie all around
Upon the snowy white slippery floor of cold, cold marble
Glassy daggers with granite handles hang from the mantle
Hear the sound of a thousand tiny silver bells tinkling
As the frigid air pours though like lead, liquid and flowing
Serving as a warning to all who dare enter ever so innocently
Before it releases all its deadly weaponry upon the unwary
This is must do at the coming of spring and it will not fail
The warmth will lift this eerily beautiful glacial veil

Miss You

You don't know how much
I miss you dear snow
Your visits in recent winters
Have become so infrequent
I long to see you at night shimmering
Reflecting that warm dreamlike glow
Through streetlights as you descend
Laying a white satin comforter
Over my frigid and chaotic world
You quiet sounds and slow down time
It's even sweeter when you tenderly fall
All of the night and though the day
Until darkness arrives once more
Then there is that break in the clouds
And the moon's peeking beams
Glimmer majestically through the trees
Adorned with layers of your shiny silver
Next comes the anticipated dawn
When you and the sun awaken
A bright new world of blinding beauty
I yearn to step into your slippery realm
Falling into the chill of your soft embrace

My Little Girl

She became mine at seven
Whether she liked it or not
Time was needed for us
To understand and to love each other
My new wife's precocious
Little daughter and me
I had no idea what
Was in store for me
Being this kind of father
She would become a teenager
Before I would learn
How to give to her
The kind of love she needed
It took becoming a father
To her little brothers
For her to know how
To accept a father's love
It was there in full force
On her wedding day
When I gave her away to man
She didn't have to learn to love
There I wonder if she had
Been born my little girl
Would she or I be or feel
Any different that day
She could not have been
Any more beautiful
Nor could I have become
Any more her father

Copyright R. N. Stewart 2001. All rights reserved.