4/28/00
I actually have work to do today. The wacky fun never ceases!
Met Boss Lady for cocktails at my favorite bar last night. Okay, my favorite "after work" bar. It's where most of the downtown lawyers and judges hang out, plus it's right across the street from the jail processing office, so all the newly-released convicts hang out there, too. What a riot. Had a couple of drinks, some awesome wings (I am such a sucker for wings) and some jalapeno poppers, then headed home. Megan and I were still fighting because...well, this is so long, it deserves its own paragraph...
It all started on Easter when she invited her dumbass, redneck, hillbilly brother and his wife and two kids to our house this Sunday for a barbecue. I said, "well, that's fine, but Lobster & Lowenbrau is Sunday, we'd planned on going to that." She said she hadn't really wanted to go anyway (they're not her kind of people, i.e., they socialize) and that I should go with C. I said, nifty, whatever. Because I missed Lobster & Lowenbrau (a big benefit party with tons of beer and yes, lobster) last year and I wasn't going to miss it this year to spend the day arguing over Teamsters politics with dumbass while his 3-year-old beat my dog with a stick. Then yesterday, of all the damn luck, I WON TICKETS TO SUNDAY'S BASEBALL GAME. I never win anything, so this was an event, I tell ya. And I haven't been to a game in like, 10 years, so I hate to miss an opportunity to watch the home team lose. So I called Megan to tell her and she said "oh, good, maybe they can go with us" and I said "what about the children?" So she said "well, I can move the barbecue to Saturday, but then I can't go to that piano thing" (a jazz piano concert that I won tickets to last week--I think it's time to buy a lottery ticket!). I said "the 'piano thing' doesn't start until 8:00, won't they be gone by then?" "Well, I hate to rush them off." Okay, if they were still at my house at 8:00, you can bet your ass I'D be rushing them off. So I suggested she reschedule for next week, since her family lives an hour away and it's not like they were flying in from the coast or anything. Which immediately turns into "why do you hate my family?" "Why can't you cut the cord?" And then she HANGS UP ON ME AGAIN. Ooooh, have you ever wanted to slap someone until their teeth rattle? I HAVE.
So I go home from the bar, Ms. Thang has gotten her car back from the shop. And she's bitching up a storm (and rightfully so) about the shoddy work they did on the car--seams don't match up, there are stains all over the interior, and the car has mysteriously put on about 250 miles. So I start my usual "take it back. Call a manager. Call the insurance agent. Call this. Call that. WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP BITCHING AT ME ABOUT THE FUCKING CAR?" Which leads her to tell me that I need to start taking my Prozac again because I'm not rational. Oh, you fucking bitch. The silence that followed lasted the rest of the night.
Sometimes, I really wonder why we're together. We are complete opposites, and we don't agree on much of anything. And we fight like hell a good deal of the time. But I love her, and last time I checked, she loved me. Relationships suck. STAY SINGLE.
So I should go work now but I'll try to get back here later.
(Later) It's 20 til 5, and I have finally reached a point where I can safely do my own thing. Megan is still being a total shit rocket but at least it's not entirely directed at me. I think her thyroid is overacting again. She was like this before she got her levels evened out, when she was still totally hyperthyroid--twitchy, over-excitable, and BITCHY.
I can't find anyone to go to the fucking piano concert with me on Saturday night. DAMMIT. I've asked three people and they all have plans. I wish I had friends. I used to have friends, and then I met Megan, and she hated all of my friends, and insisted that I either (a) hate them, too, or (b) spend countless hours fighting with her about it. You know, she really is a spoiled, immature, hateful, self-centered bitch. But I'm sure she has her good qualities. I just can't think of any of them right now. Either that or I'm a complete masochist.
I invited my parents to the baseball game on Sunday. I know, inviting your parents out to play--how completely lame. But like I mentioned before, I HAVE NO FRIENDS. Plus, if I get my dad in a ball park, the likelihood that the beer will start coming out of HIS wallet is very, very high. It may be very uncool to hang with the fam, but daddy likes to impress me by buying many rounds. And remember--where there's beer, there's usually nachos and hot dogs. I'm on that train.
I am so not looking forward to tonight. I am going to go to class, if for no other reason than to sign the roster stating "I was here," then ditching out way early so I can eat dinner at a reasonable hour and then give the dogs a bath. They reek. They don't roll in shit or anything nasty like that, it's just that, after a while, the dirty doggy stench gets to be a bit overpowering. George smells especially bad and I really don't want to know why. He has this habit of barfing in his kennel and then accidentally ending up in it. HOPE YOU'RE EATING AS YOU READ THIS!
But what I'd really like to do more than anything in the world is leave this office, go check into a hotel, crank the a/c, take a long shower or bath (depending on how skanky the hotel room tub is), climb into a robe, pick up the remote in one hand and use the other to dial room service. I don't want to go home and listen to Megan's incessant bitchery. I don't want to go to school and watch mafia movies. I don't want to bathe the dogs and listen to Megan bitch about how poorly behaved my dogs are. I don't want to go to school tomorrow and come home to see her fat-ass redneck fuck brother sitting on my lawn furniture while his filthy brat daughter attacks my terra cotta chiminea and my plants with a big stick. I don't want to go to the piano concert alone like a total loser--or do I? Maybe that would be very good for my psyche--a night on the town with MYSELF.
Now, there's something to ponder!
Next Entry