4/29/00 (cont'd)
I'm feeling horribly long-winded today. Actually I'm probably just putting off writing the stupid fucking paper. Oh, well. Suffer with me.
Back to what I was saying in yesterday's entry about the piano concert tonight? I think it might be fun to go alone. Although Christ, what a moron I'm going to look like. "Loser, party of one, your table is ready..." The thing is, when I lived in Omaha, before I met the ex-husband, I used to do pretty much everything by myself. I went to movies alone, I went to dinner alone, I sat in coffee houses alone. I didn't really have many friends (actually I had one friend and she worked nights, so we never could get it together, and the rest of my friends were typically men who had girlfriends and/or wives that didn't appreciate them associating with sweet hot young me). But it never bothered me to do all this alone, if it was dinner I'd just take a book or a magazine or just people watch or whatever. I was there for the food, not company. And movies? I still don't see the big deal on that one, I mean, how much socializing do you do in a movie theater? (Which is why a movie on a first date seems highly suspicious in my mind, unless you're one of those annoying fucks who jabbers through the whole damn thing.) Essentially every time you go see a movie, you're seeing it alone. You just meet up afterward to discuss it. Might as well save yourself the expense of an extra soda and Sugar Daddies, right?
No, I don't want to leave Megan. I wish I did, because I really don't think we're all that great together (in fact I think we probably tend to bring out the worst in each other). But the thing is, I think we're together because no one else in the world would have either one of us. We were joking about it last night, we ran into this couple down the street from us at the gas station, and I've always thought one of them (Hot Amy) was totally cute but, as Megan always points out, she's incredibly brooding. She seems to always have a pissy look on her face and when you talk to her you can tell she's a real bitch. Not that I care, because I am, too. So that doesn't bother me. But I told Megan last night I was leaving her for Hot Amy and she said, "God, you two would probably kill each other within a week." Maybe we are just the right match of opposites. Or maybe we both just really, REALLY like our house.
Or maybe the moon is in a freaky sign and the whole fucking world is pissed off.
Okay, I have to go work on the damn paper now. Maybe I'll post it, so the rest of you can be just as fucking bored as I am!
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