06/08/00 (cont'd)
"...well it's a real long way to go to say goodbye...I thought we already did that...have fun, tell the world..."
Megan has arranged for us and the dogs to go to the lake this weekend. We leave tomorrow night after work and come home Sunday. I just love the lake, and I love going to the lake with her, we always have such a great time together...of course, we act like friends the whole time...
I don't know if I want to take all three dogs or not. I will feel horribly guilt-ridden if we take one or two but not all of them, though. I might ask Zak tonight (because I'm just sure that I'll see him) if he could watch them if I leave them behind...but that would make me such an awful bad dog mom...I suck at everything I do...
Oh, fuck it. I'll take all three of the little bastards. But I'm asking Zak to watch them anyway, just in case they piss me off and I change my mind.
Maybe it will be good for us to get away for the weekend, whether we have the dogs or not. Or maybe it will be just an opportunity for us to fight like hell in a different location.
She was telling me this morning about some other couple, former friends (?) of hers from long ago, and said "they're still together and miserable as hell, go figure..." and I told her "people probably say the same thing about us, you know." We laughed about it. But it wasn't really that funny.
Yes, getting out of town for the weekend will be a good thing. I only feel slightly guilty about the fact that Megan's paying for the whole thing. I have like, $1.98 in my checking account (I'm not kidding) and she just got her student loan money, so...I've always wanted a sugar mama. And in this arrangement, I don't even have to put out.
"I made up my mind...I won't be calling...I think about you and I think about the heartbroken ones...you were high in my life, obsessive was my love...worth it was my time...you are fading now...well I could do it, I could make it one more time..."
"Who in the world do you think that you are fooling? I've already done everthing you are doing...well it must be a great temptation to have even started...those great temptations never really die..."
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