09/18/00 (cont'd)
"you're here, you'll do" sort of stuff. I want to take a good long time to get to know someone, then decide how I feel about them and where they fit into my life. And I deserve as much. I'm notorious for quickly forging relationships where none ever existed. My ex-husband and I were married almost 9 months to the day of our first date. Megan and I were essentially married within a couple of months. My first real boyfriend (to whom I was engaged at 17, ick gads) and I were all drippy "I love yous" almost from the get go. And all the losers in between I've been convinced were the get all end alls.
This is so not that.
Nearly every day, I feel like I learn something new about him. He's not in any hurry to make me his property. He's not possessive, he's not controlling, he's not an obsession. It's refreshing. At this pace, not only am I learning about him, I'm also learning about myself.
Wow.
Not to say that I'm not head over heels nuts about him. I haven't talked to him in 3 days and I feel like it must feel when, say, one leaves the house without first putting on pants. You just have this feeling something's missing...something's not quite right...
If he were here we'd be watching wrestling right now.
How the hell am I going to make it 6 more days?????
I admit my pathetic state. And I don't care. He may not be "the one," but then again, he may be. I have no sweet idea. And dammit, I like it that way.
A little mystery can carry you a long way.
But wait, there's more...