BTVS Razor's Edge 4/9 - W/Fitz - PG13
Title: Razor's Edge
Part 4
Author: Frau Hunter Ash
Copyright © 2002 by Hunter Ash. All Rights Reserved.
Email: carrkjar@yahoo.com Feedback welcome!!
Homepage Addy: http://www.hunterash.com/
Disclaimers: The characters and show all belong to Joss Whedon, Fox,
Mutant Enemy, Kuzui, and God only knows who else. The storyline,
however, is the sole property of the author. This story cannot be
sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made
for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright
notices.
F/F romance: the story assumes a loving and sexual relationship
between people of the same gender and may even include 3 at the same
time . If this offends or is illegal for you, then please leave.
Come back when you are older, have an open mind, moved, or changed
your laws.
Spoilers: up to season 5. Oz never returned
Summary: After fighting with Willow, Fitz sinks into a suicidal
depression and plans on leaving Sunnydale if the gang can't find a
way to send her back to her own realm. Buffy has plans on getting
the two women talking again but Spike has a surprise for the Slayers
and Scooby Gang. Willow has a major surprise of her own to announce
as well.
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Pairing: AU: Fitz/Willow, B/A
Fitz sat in her wheelchair on the back porch late the next night,
watching the moonlight.
Buffy moved through the yard with the grace of a cat and vaulted over
the railing to land in front of Fitz easily.
"What up, girlfriend?" Buffy quipped.
"Not me," Fitz shrugged, taking a long drink of whiskey.
"Call her already!" Buffy urged, frowning at the bottle. "Should you
be doing that with those pain meds?"
"One, she won't talk to me. Two, the combination helps ease the
mental as well as the physical pain then. Three, I'm Irish, whiskey
isn't gonna kill me, Buff," Fitz answered somewhat sarcastically.
"Have you told her that you love her?" Buffy asked, sitting down on
the railing.
"No, I told her I wasn't in love with her," Fitz said softly.
"Why the hell would you tell her that? You are so hung up on her it's
getting pathetic!" Buffy declared.
"Aye, and I wasn't about to say that to her! She's confusing pity and
friendship for love," Fitz countered. "I wasn't going to add to that
confusion. I don't belong here! I'm not right for her. I had my shot
with a Willow and I lost it!"
"Fitz," Buffy began softly but Fitz waved her off.
"I'm having Giles arrange me a transfer to England," Fitz said firmly.
"You're running away," Buffy accused.
"Aye, it's either that or this!" Fitz growled and held out her hand,
revealing a razor blade in the palm of her hand.
Buffy's eyes widened and she slowly stood up and took the razor blade
from her fellow Slayer, carefully watching the dark Slayer's blue
eyes. Buffy was alarmed by the bright, almost manic look in Fitz'
eyes.
"That's never an answer," Buffy whispered, her own eyes blazing with
emotions: fear, anger, confusion and hurt.
"What would you do, Buffy?" Fitz demanded, tears filling her
eyes. "I don't belong in this world and I don't belong in mine now.
I've fallen in love with this Willow and I'm not a Slayer in either
world. I knew being the Slayer wasn't fair but this is a little
beyond even what a saint could take and I'm not a saint!"
"Promise me you won't try this!" Buffy demanded, holding up the razor
blade.
"Alright then," Fitz nodded. "I'll be leaving then."
Buffy frowned for several moments. "Don't move!" she ordered.
"Like and where would I be going?" Fitz snapped.
Buffy ignored her and went inside the house for several minutes
before coming back out. The blonde Slayer sat down on the railing
again but didn't say anything to Fitz and the Irishwoman let the
silence lay between them.
Fitz blinked in confusion when Anya and Xander walked into Buffy's
back yard.
"Do they always come visiting at midnight?" Fitz growled.
"Only when a Slayer is in trouble," Xander countered.
"Buffy?" Fitz questioned.
"I'm fine," Buffy growled. "You, on the other hand, are a mess and
this is not an option!"
Buffy held up the razor blade for Anya and Xander to see. Fitz
turned bright red at the sudden glares she was getting from the young
couple.
"What?" Fitz demanded. "You wouldn't care if I did! I don't belong
here, right?"
Xander blushed, realizing he had been overheard.
"Okay, maybe I said that last night but that doesn't mean I want you
dead!" he growled. "I just don't want Will hurt."
"Me either. What are they doing here?" Fitz demanded from Buffy.
"Xander has a pickup, we're going to pack you into the back and take
a ride," Buffy declared. "Since you can't beat me, you don't have a
choice."
"Lay off!" Fitz snapped and attempted to wheel herself around the
Slayer but Buffy easily held the chair in place. Fitz' face became
panicked. "Please, whatever you've got planned, let it go. I'm gone
next week, she'll never see me again."
"Is that what you think will make her happy?" Buffy demanded. "I've
never seen her like this! This is worse than when Oz left! You two
got to each other somehow during all this mess. Maybe the spell was
the right one that brought you here! Ever think of that?"
"You mean she might really be Willow's soul mate?" Xander demanded
with a snarl, echoing Fitz' questioning thoughts.
"Odds are really good that she is," Anya said calmly. "Spells like
that are usually very specific and the demons who do the fetching are
very good at what they do."
"Willow's gotten over Oz, she was attracted to Tara and has fallen
for Fitz, that doesn't sound like Oz was her soul mate to me," Buffy
added as Fitz frowned.
The dark Slayer squeaked as Buffy grabbed the handles of the
wheelchair and Xander reached down for the bottom as they carried her
down the stairs to the sidewalk.
"Please don't do this, she's better off without me!" Fitz begged.
"Get over it," Buffy growled. "I may be a miserable friend at times
and ignore my friends but not this time!"
Somehow the three active young adults got the injured Slayer into the
back of Xander's pickup on a sleeping bag without too much hassle
once Fitz gave in and quit fighting and arguing. Buffy settled in
next to her fellow Slayer and wrapped her arm around Fitz' shoulders.
"She's going to kill you guys," Fitz predicted.
"Not if you keep her occupied with lots of kisses," Buffy suggested
and grinned as Fitz blushed.
Fitz decided that talking wasn't helping either and kept quiet on the
ride over to the dorms. "We can't get in, no key," Fitz growled.
"I still live with Will, technically," Buffy countered, holding up
her keys. She jumped over the side of the truck easily when Xander
parked. Together they got the wheelchair and Slayer out and headed
towards the dorm.
"Maybe she's doing magic stuff with Tara," Fitz suggested. "We'd
miss her."
"Then we'll put you in my bed and take the wheelchair, you two will
have to talk when she gets home," Buffy countered and Xander
smirked.
"You know, this Cupid thing is kinda fun," he smiled as Anya giggled.
"Lay off!" Fitz growled.
Buffy opened the door with her key and held it open while Xander
wheeled the dark Slayer inside.
"Hey, Buff, aren't there supposed to be lights?" Xander asked as
Buffy turned and shoved him aside, drawing out her stake and Fitz
reached for the absent dagger in her boot.
The lights snapped on and Buffy turned to shove Anya out the door
when something slammed into her from behind, sending her to the floor.
"Buffy!" Xander yelled as he turned and saw two vampires standing
just inside the door, one holding Anya, a knife at her throat.
Buffy looked around as Xander pulled Fitz back against a side wall.
The common area of the dorm was filled with students and vampires.
Three students were already dead, their throats and pale skin
revealing how they had died. The other students were clinging to
each other as vampires threatened them with guns and knives and their
vampire 'game faces.'
In the center of the room was Druscilla with an unconscious Willow at
her feet.
"No!" Fitz screamed, trying to climb out of the chair as Xander held
her back and Buffy jumped in front of them.
"One move and my friends will start cutting down on the college
campus' population," a voice smirked.
Buffy's eyes widened as Spike stepped out from behind several
students and walked over to wrap an arm around Druscilla's shoulders.
"I thought you said he was tame!" Fitz snapped.
"He's supposed to be," Buffy complained.
"Oh I still can't do a bloody thing with this sodding chip but Dru
can," Spike growled.
"Yes, Miss Edith tells me that flame here is the one that brought
Angel back and took Daddy away from us," Dru said in her child-like
voice. "She must be punished for that."
"No!" Fitz screamed.
"Drop the stake, Buffy," Spike demanded, pulling the unconscious
Willow up into his arms. "I'll let Dru kill her."
"Spike, how can you do this after we took you in and protected you?"
Buffy demanded.
"Hello! I'm evil! Remember!" Spike shouted. "Just because I got a
stupid chip in my head doesn't change the basics!"
"Let everyone go, you've got me," Buffy demanded.
"Nah, I kinda promised the crew a free meal," Spike smirked.
Willow shook her head and opened her eyes slowly. Fitz' heart
skipped several beats when the witch squeaked and struggled in
Druscilla's arms. The insane vampire laughed and held Willow close,
her fangs hovering at the girl's neck.
"No!" Fitz screamed and fell out of her wheelchair, struggling to get
to the witch and vampire.
Spike laughed as Buffy moved to squat next to Fitz, stake still in
hand.
Fitz pounded on the floor at the look of fear in Willow's eyes as
they silently begged the two Slayers for help.
Several of the students were crying loudly and some of the males
began shouting at their vampire captors. Buffy looked around quickly
as Spike turned his attention to yell at the students and the
vampires attempting to control them.
Buffy spotted the typical fire extinguisher, fire alarm and the fire
axe behind the sealed emergency glass on the wall near Xander. The
Slayer looked back at Willow and moved her eyes back to the axe.
Buffy saw comprehension in Willow's eyes and the witch calmed and
stopped fighting Druscilla as she concentrated.
Xander, alternating his concentration between the Slayers, Willow and
the vampire holding his fiancée, saw the lock on the fire axe glass
snap open and pretended to stumble, moving closer to the axe.
Fitz, laying next to the sofa, was also glancing around for anything
to get them out of the situation and saw a typical college sofa,
complete with a worn-out underside with cloth hanging down to the
floor.
Fitz grinned and moved her hand under the sofa.
"Tell me something, Buffy," Fitz said calmly. "Did you get thrown
out of Hemrick in this realm too?"
"Yeah," Buffy said absently, watching for any opening. "I, uh, the
gym was destroyed."
Fitz clicked her fingers under the sofa and waited a moment.
"How?" Fitz asked, her voice sounding innocent.
"Well, it kinda burned down," Buffy said slowly and glanced over at
the dark Slayer.
"Kinda like this sofa?" Fitz asked, rolling away from the furniture
in question.
"FIRE!" Buffy screamed as smoke began flowing out from under the sofa.
The reaction was immediate from everyone. Students sitting on the
sofa screamed and dived off, stumbling into other students and
vampires. Students near the doors turned to run, adding their
screams to the confusion. Several vampires, fearing fire as much as
sunlight, joined the rushing students. Spike was shouting, Druscilla
was laughing and Buffy was moving.
Fitz turned over and saw Xander grabbing the fire axe as Anya stomped
on the foot of the vampire holding her. As the vampire howled in
rage, Xander swung the axe when Anya ducked.
Buffy dived forward, tackling Druscilla and Willow to the floor as
the vampires gave up trying to control the students and decided to
follow the students out the door.
Spike howled in rage and smacked Buffy across the jaw and fell to the
floor, holding his head in pain. Buffy and Willow grabbed Fitz' arms
and pulled the Slayer away from the burning sofa. Xander dropped the
axe, grabbed the fire extinguisher and set the fire alarm off.
"Get out of here, Spike!" Buffy shouted. "Take Druscilla and get out
of town! If I see either of you again, chip or not, I'll stake both
of you!"
"Sod off, Slayer!" Spike grumbled as Dru helped him to his feet and
dragged him to the door.
Willow and Buffy helped Fitz back into the wheelchair as Xander
finished putting out the fire. Sirens filled the distant air.
"Are you okay?" both Fitz and Willow demanded at the same time.
"My leg hurts a little but not as much as seeing you in Dru's arms,"
Fitz admitted as Willow knelt beside the wheelchair. "You alright
then?"
"Yeah, just a knot on the back of my head," Willow smiled, reaching
out to hold Fitz' hand.
Buffy, noticing the interaction, nodded at Xander and Anya.
"Willow, since Fitz doesn't have an ID or anything, why don't you
take her up to our room and we'll handle the Fire Department and
cops," Buffy suggested.
Willow seemed to remember that she was upset with Fitz and hesitated.
"What are you guys doing here so late?" Willow asked.
"Dragging Fitz' sorry ass over to talk with you," Xander
growled. "Now get it over with and get out of here."
"Please, Will," Fitz asked softly. "I really need to talk after
seeing you like that, almost dead and all."
Willow continued to frown but moved behind the wheelchair.
"Fine," she snapped and moved the chair towards the elevator as
Xander and Anya dashed outside to guide the firemen in to check the
sofa and take their reports.
* * *
Fitz and Willow were both quiet on the short ride to the second
floor.
"Are you alright?" Willow repeated as she opened the door to the room
she shared with Buffy.
"The leg is hurting a bit from diving out of the chair but I think
I'm okay," Fitz replied.
Willow shut the door and sat down on what was obviously her bed,
facing Fitz.
The Slayer shifted uneasily in her chair, unsure what to say or how
to say it.
"Buffy said we needed to talk," Willow ventured, her face and eyes
hard, not giving an inch.
"Aye, they dragged me over in the back of Xander's pickup," Fitz
nodded, turning her wedding ring around and around nervously. "I…I
guess they're worried about me."
It was hard to admit any weakness but Fitz felt numb all over. She
was still stunned from the sight of Willow almost being killed by a
vampire. The images of her own Willow dying that same way kept
flooding Fitz' mind as her hands shook.
"Fitz?" Willow asked softly, noticing the shaking hands and paleness
of the dark Slayer.
The Slayer didn't seem to hear the witch as Fitz wrapped her arms
around herself, beginning to tremble all over, her eyes dark blue
with pain.
Willow moved off the bed and pulled Fitz out of the chair and swung
her around onto the bed with surprising strength. The dark Slayer
tried to curl up in a ball as her breathing became ragged and she
tried to hold back sobs.
Willow lay down next to Fitz and took the young woman into her arms
as Fitz broke down completely, sobs racking her body.
"I can't lose you and her both!" Fitz cried. "I couldn't save either
of you."
"Fitz! Jess, I'm right here," Willow said firmly. "I wasn't hurt."
"I can't be doing this anymore, Will," the Slayer whispered,
sniffling. "I'm leaving next week if you'll not see me."
"Leaving?" Willow whispered back.
"Aye, to England to work with the Watcher Council," Fitz nodded,
keeping her arms and hands close to her body, not daring to reach out
to the red head holding her.
Willow frowned as Fitz turned over, out of her arms, struggling with
the leg cast to move away from Willow.
"It hurts, girl," Fitz admitted, her back to Willow.
"How can we even be friends, Fitz?" Willow complained. "How can I
trust that you're not reaching out to me because I look and sound
like your Willow?"
"I don't know the answers to anything anymore," Fitz complained,
still keeping her back to Willow. "I thought I could kill my
feelings, that I could drown my grieving and what I'm feeling for
you."
"What do you mean?" Willow asked, moving down further on the bed and
curling up behind Fitz. She felt the Slayer stiffen when she reached
an arm over the Slayer's ribs and moved against the Slayer's back.
"I lied when I said I wasn't in love with you," Fitz admitted after a
minute. "I wasn't trusting if it was avoiding my grief for my wife
or if it's real between us."
"How did your Willow die?" Willow asked softly.
"My leg was shattered, broken in several places and Buffy was
fighting three rock demons and a vampire. Will got up and took on
the sorcerer. The vampires broke away from Buffy, one grabbed my
hammer and smashed my knee and the other went for my Willow. I
blacked out for a minute and when I came round the vampire had Will,"
Fitz said softly, letting Willow hold her from behind.
"He killed her?" Willow asked in a soft and small voice.
"Right in front of me, I saw her eyes losing their life, begging me
to save her, forgiving me for not saving her," Fitz whispered. "I
screamed for Buffy and she spun, throwing a stake perfectly but it
was too late. The vampire snapped…Will's…I knew she was dead before
she hit the floor."
"Oh God," Willow muttered.
"When I saw that bitch with her fangs tonight…I thought I had lost
you too," Fitz muttered.
"Fitz?" Willow called softly and noted the steady rhythm of the
Slayer's breathing and relaxed muscles under her arm. "Jess?"
A soft knock on the door brought Willow up off the bed with a small
curse. She wasn't surprised to find Buffy outside the door.
"Everything okay, Will?"
"No, but she's sleeping peaceful for now," Willow muttered and moved
into the hallway. She pulled her robe around her and rubbed her eyes
wearily.
"What happened tonight?" Buffy asked.
"I heard screams downstairs and tried to call for help but the phones
were dead," Willow explained, leaning against the wall. "I went down
with cross and stake and they were waiting for me, Spike and
Druscilla. I got tossed around a bit and then you guys showed up."
"Did you and Fitz talk any?" Buffy asked.
"Not much, she was pretty shaken by the vampire attack," Willow
admitted. "She told me how her Willow died the same way. It freaked
her out tonight."
"I can understand that," Buffy nodded. "She's figured out she's in
love with you and almost lost you tonight. It almost killed me to
see you so close, I can imagine what it did to her."
"Buffy, I know you want things okay between Fitz and me but I don't
know if I can do this," Willow said slowly. "It's not the girl-girl
thing, I think I'm okay with that. I mean, I've kissed Tara and Fitz
and it felt more than okay so I don't think it's that. I was stupid
and fell for Fitz, knowing that she's in love with the other Willow.
How can I trust that it's me she wants and not using me as a
substitute?"
"Wow! This earned a full babble," Buffy smiled, teasing her friend
into a slight smile. "Look, I give up trying to figure out love, I
can't seem to get it right but I do know how to recognize it in
others. I pulled these off of Fitz tonight, Will."
Buffy held out her hand, showing Willow a small and almost empty
bottle of Irish whiskey and a razor blade.
"A razor? What?" Willow asked, her eyes widening.
"Fitz doesn't think she can kill herself fast enough with pain pills
and alcohol so she was considering the razor," Buffy said slowly.
"But she's Catholic, that's like a total lost soul thing!" Willow
protested.
"I know," Buffy nodded. "One of the few things I know about
Catholics, suicide is up there with the list of unforgivable sins. I
think she's feeling so lost that losing her soul to hell seems like
just a continuation of the pain she's already in."
"Fitz said she was going to England next week if I wouldn't see her,"
Willow said softly.
"Yeah, the Council can get their hands on a Slayer again, even if it
is one that can't slay anymore," Buffy complained. "Even with our
friendship, it's not enough to get her through this. She needs you,
Will."
"No, she needs her Willow, not me," Willow protested, shaking her
head.
"Will, you spent almost a month non-stop with her," Buffy
countered. "Fitz even admitted that she realizes that you're not her
Willow and she's still in love with you."
"Buffy, I got some serious stuff going on right now and I can't risk
being hurt again," Willow said firmly. "I thought I could protect
myself when I was taking care of Fitz but I couldn't. I fell in love
with her, now I have to give myself some distance."
"Why? She loves you, you love her, what's the problem?" Buffy
demanded.
"We're trying to send her back!" Willow snapped. "I'm supposed to go
back in there and begin a relationship while we're trying to figure
out how to get rid of her? Isn't that asking a little much?"
"You're right," Buffy nodded. "And I don't think we should be
looking for an answer on sending her back anymore. Fitz is here,
she's our friend and her world has moved on, probably thinking she
died in that circle with the sorcerer."
"Giles won't agree to give up looking," Willow muttered.
"He will if we ask him," Buffy countered. "The Council wants her
here for research. I want her here because I like her and it's nice
to have someone around who understands what it's like. I also want
her here because you're in love with her."
"What about Xander?" Willow asked, frowning.
"To hell with Xander if he can't get over it," Buffy growled. "He'll
adapt, he's already coming around and likes Fitz even though he's
trying hard not to."
"Buffy," Willow hesitated. "I…I…I really need to talk."
"Okay, with Fitz asleep in your bed and you in your robe, how about
the roof?"
"Perfect, let me leave a note in case Jess wakes up," Willow said and
Buffy smiled. No one else called Fitz by her first name and Buffy
had the feeling that was the other world Willow's name for Fitz.
It was cool on the roof and Buffy wrapped her jacket around Willow's
shoulders as they moved around to the other side of the small door
enclosure, out of the wind.
"What's up, Will? Something more is going on besides Fitz, isn't
there?"
"Yeah, I'm scared Buffy, I am really so scared that I can't see
straight any more," Willow admitted as they sat with their backs to
the wall, Buffy's arm wrapped around Willow's shoulders. "You know
it's been two, almost three months since Oz left, right?"
"Yeah, you spent the first month crying yourself silly and the second
month taking care of Fitz. The last two weeks I haven't seen much of
you," Buffy nodded.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking, brooding, crying, and visiting
the doctor," Willow confided.
"Doctor? What's wrong?"
Willow laughed a bitter laugh. "Nothing that six more months won't
cure."
"Six months," Buffy said slowly, noticing Willow's hands hovering
around her stomach level. "Plus three equals nine months. Oh God,
Will, how long have you known?"
"I was in denial the first month and thought it was just stress
throwing my cycle off the second month," Willow said slowly. "I
finally broke down and bought one of those kits last week and saw the
doctor the next day when there were two lines instead of just one.
It's confirmed, I'm going to have a werewolf's baby."
Buffy tightened both arms around her friend as Willow's calm exterior
broke down and she began crying gently in the Slayer's arms.
"Willow, I love you," Buffy said gently. "Whatever you decide, I
will stand with you, protect you and be your best friend for life."
"Thanks, I don't know what I'm going to do!" Willow whimpered. "We
were careful. I was on the pill and he used protection and we only
did it twice!"
"So, either the condom broke, he didn't use it right, or werewolf
sperm is really potent," Buffy quipped and smiled when Willow smacked
her leg with a snort of amusement.
"Good thing I love you, Summers," Willow sniffled. "That was really
tacky."
"Well, I did take some lessons from Cordelia," Buffy joked.
"I have a couple of options, none of which wins the lottery," Willow
said slowly after a few moments. "I can have an abortion, have the
child and give it up for adoption, or keep the child and be a single
parent."
Buffy frowned. "We need to do some research about babies born of a
werewolf and human."
"I know," Willow nodded. "That kinda lets out option number two.
How could I give up a child for adoption knowing they might turn into
a werewolf when they become a teenager and accidentally kill their
family?"
"That leaves abortion or keeping the child," Buffy commented. "Does
Oz know?"
"No, I didn't tell him when he called for me to send his stuff,"
Willow said calmly. "I couldn't tell him I was pregnant while he was
telling me he wasn't coming back. That's the last way I want to bring
my boyfriend back. I suspected I was pregnant but didn't know for
sure when he called."
"Shouldn't he have a decision whether you keep the child or not?"
Buffy asked.
"No, he gave up that right when he left," Willow growled. "He
couldn't handle the responsibility of a relationship, how the hell
could he handle the responsibility of deciding on ending the life of
a child or if I should keep it?"
"I know, it just seems unfair," Buffy frowned.
"It is unfair, the whole situation is unfair," Willow
complained. "That's why I can't risk getting involved in a
relationship with Fitz if she's going back to her world, that'd be
worse than Oz leaving."
"Damn, if Oz has been gone almost three months, you don't have a lot
of time for decisions, do you?"
"No, about four days before they refuse an abortion," Willow answered.
"Do we tell Giles and ask for his help researching werewolf
pregnancies or have you decided?" Buffy asked.
"No, I haven't yet and I know I'm running out of time," Willow
muttered. "Fitz is right, I almost died tonight. Me and my child
could have died tonight."
The red-haired witch stood up and wandered to the edge of the
building, looking at the stars and the surroundings. Buffy got up
and stood beside her.
"I love you, Will," Buffy said simply. "I'm here for you."
"We lost Jesse just after you got here, Principal Fluete, how many
students over the years? Miss Calendar, Faith, Kendra, Amy, Angel.
How many deaths, Buff?"
"I don't know," Buffy admitted. "If I think about it…it hurts too
much."
"How can I kill a child growing inside of me?" Willow asked, her
voice almost a whisper.
"Only you can make that ultimate decision, Will," Buffy said
gently. "I understand the decision either way. You've got your
future ahead of you, major universities want you in their graduate
programs, computer companies have been sending you interest letters
and the government will probably be knocking on our door for your
computer skills soon."
"You been reading my mail, Summers?" Willow teased.
"Maybe," Buffy grinned. "Single motherhood might put a crimp in
those plans. Raising a child who might turn into a werewolf is a
downside. On the other hand, it is a new life in this hell we call
Sunnydale and it's yours."
"I don't think I can have an abortion, Buffy," Willow said finally,
leaning against Buffy's shoulder.
"Good, that means I'm going to be an aunt!" Buffy smiled, noticing
Willow's sigh of relief. "And Xander will go crazy playing Uncle.
Oh God, my mother is going to go bananas doing the grandmother bit!"
Willow smiled for a moment and then began frowning. "My parents are
going to be so unhappy."
Buffy wiped at the tears on her friends' cheeks gently.
"They'll be okay."
"No," Willow shook her head. "Major disappointment time. Single as
in unmarried and pregnant. Pregnant by a musician who isn't even
Jewish and not around. Good thing they don't know about the werewolf
thing!"
"What about Fitz?" Buffy asked after a few moments of silence.
"What about Fitz?" Willow countered. "I can't tell her this and I
can't see her. I have to think about my future, Buffy. If she's
going back to her realm then I can't get any more attached,
especially with a child coming. I can't ask her to get into a
relationship with me being pregnant either."
"Fitz loves you, give her a chance to love your child," Buffy
urged. "Heck, you've got one of the major hurdles a lesbian couple
faces beat!"
"Buffy," Willow's voice warned that she wasn't seeing the humor.
"Alright, I want you to go back and get some sleep," Buffy
suggested. "I'll be back in a little bit. Giles called earlier and
wanted a Scooby meeting tomorrow. I'm going to roust him out of bed
and find out what the 411 is."
"Why not wait until the meeting?" Willow asked.
"Because it might have to do with that damned spell and Fitz, and I
want the answers before you two wake up in the morning," Buffy
explained. "You've made the decision to keep the baby, now we need
to find you answers for making the decision for your heart."
"Buffy, just let it go," Willow urged. "Fitz will leave next week
and we can move on with our lives."
"Just think about this until I get back and what it takes to reach
out for this thing," Buffy said and held out the razor blade. "Even
after I killed Angel and sent him to hell, I didn't reach that
point. I thought about it a lot of times but kept going. Spike
taunts me that Slayers have a death wish but I don't think so.
Slayers fight to the last breath to live and fight. Think about what
it takes to seriously consider taking your own life because you love
someone."
Buffy was gone through the door before Willow could respond. The
witch looked down at the razor blade in her hand with a frown.
* * *
"Giles!" Buffy yelled as she opened the door to the Englishman's
condo. All the Scooby Gang had keys to each other's houses,
apartments and dorm rooms in case of emergencies. Buffy doubted
Giles would see this as an emergency right away but she also knew
that she could be stubborn and she wanted to be.
"Giles! It's Buffy!" she yelled, not wanting to go roaming up into
his bedroom, she knew he kept weapons very close to hand, even in his
own home. Much like she did.
A few moments later Giles appeared down the stairs, belting his robe
together and running a hand through his unruly night time hair.
"Buffy, what is it? What's happened?" he demanded.
"Everyone is alive and okay," Buffy said quickly. "But major life
decisions are being made tonight and I need some information before
mistakes are made."
Giles frowned. "I'll put on coffee and tea," he muttered. "It is
rather late, want to fill me in?"
Buffy followed him to the kitchen and explained Fitz' depression and
the trip to the dorms, explaining the confrontation with Spike and
Dru and ending with Fitz in Willow's room. Then Buffy talked about
Willow's confusion over her feelings for the dark Slayer.
The blonde Slayer left out Willow's pregnancy for the moment.
"What is the meeting today?" Buffy finished with the question.
"Well, I was going to tell everyone I found the spell that sorcerer
used to bring Fitz into this realm," Giles said calmly, pouring
coffee for his Slayer and tea for himself. "The problem is that
there was a time limit on the spell. To reverse it, we needed to
contact the same demon that fetched Fitz here before the next full
moon ended."
"Fitz can't go back?" Buffy asked, drinking slowly.
"No, she's stranded here," Giles nodded. "I feel terrible, she has
to be feeling so lost and confused. The best thing is to let Fitz
decide if she wants to stay in Sunnydale or go to England."
"I want her here," Buffy commented.
"Because the feelings between Willow and Fitz are confused right
now?"
"No, not just that," Buffy said slowly. "I like Fitz and it's nice
to have someone who understands exactly what being a Slayer is. I
know that you guys try and you come the closest, being my teacher and
all but no one can know what it's really like except another Slayer."
"I do understand that," Giles nodded. "I like the young woman.
Despite that rough outer shield she puts out there, she's very
intelligent, caring, and vulnerable. So what are the major decisions
being made tonight?"
"I can't talk about some of it just yet," Buffy frowned and rubbed
her eyes. A glance at Giles' clock didn't surprise her, it was 4am
in the morning. A night of slaying, talking with Fitz, driving Fitz
to the dorm, fighting vampires, talking with firemen and police and
then with Will had filled up the night.
"I found Fitz drinking again tonight," Buffy started slowly. "I've
found several empty bottles since she got out of the hospital. I was
hoping it would slow down but it hasn't. She also had a razor blade
and admitted thinking about it."
"Oh God," Giles muttered. "It takes a lot to make a Slayer suicidal."
"Yeah, I know," Buffy acknowledged. "Like I told Will, I didn't even
get that far after sending Angel to Hell."
"Is it because of her Willow or our Willow?" Giles asked, coming
right to the point.
"Both. I think she's grieved for her Willow and recognizes that our
Will isn't her wife," Buffy said thoughtfully. "I also think she's
fallen for our Will."
"I'm not surprised, they spent so much time together and the
attraction was bound to be there for Fitz," Giles commented. "I'm
sure our Willow has a lot of the same characteristics and traits that
drew Fitz to her own Willow. What about our Willow, does she feel the
same?"
"Yeah but she doesn't trust that Fitz isn't rebounding and doesn't
want to take the chance on being hurt again," Buffy explained.
"She's already fallen in love with Fitz, how would exploring a
relationship hurt any worse?" Giles asked.
"There's a difference in cutting off a relationship early and diving
in and having it falling apart later," Buffy pointed out. "Will
thinks if she can cut it off now and Fitz goes to England that
they'll be able to move on."
"Well, there is something that they both seem to have forgotten,"
Giles pondered aloud. "That spell was meant to bring Willow's soul
mate to her. What if it worked and Fitz leaves?"
"What would that do?"
"They'd both be somewhat empty for the rest of their lives," Giles
said frankly. "They could build good lives, even find love but it
wouldn't be the relationship they were meant to have in this life."
Buffy frowned. "Fitz won't last long in England," she commented
after several minutes.
"I don't think so either," Giles agreed. "The Council assures me
that they'll treat her as a respected and retired Slayer, she's
earned that no matter what realm she fought in, but I don't like her
in their hands."
"What if she stays here with us?"
"The Council is making noises that they might want all of us back,"
Giles explained. "They would have major conditions, which we would
reject, of course. Negotiations, arguments, threats, promises, lies
and possibly a new partnership."
"Hmmmm," Buffy muttered and then yawned. "I swear I'm going to sleep
all day when I finally get to bed."
"What are you waiting for and did you get the answers you needed for
these major life decisions?" Giles questioned.
"I think so," Buffy nodded. "I'm waiting for dawn so I don't have to
slay any late night vampires on the way back to the dorm. Fitz is in
Willow's bed and I want to talk to both of them before they decide
anything major."
"What's going on, Buffy?"
"Major life stuff but it's not me for once," Buffy smiled. "Hell,
I'm going over there now. Go back to bed and call all of us around
2pm for a meeting. Hopefully, we'll fill you in then."
"Alright, just be careful," Giles urged as his Slayer stood up. He
tried to appear calm and not worried but he knew all of his kids had
come very close to being killed and it always unnerved him.
The ex-Watcher knew he wasn't going to get any more sleep and so
curled up on his sofa with his guitar.
TBC
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