BTVS Unforgiven 3/3 - W/T - PG13
Unforgiven
Part 3
Author: Frau Hunter Ash
Copyright © 2002 by Hunter Ash. All Rights Reserved.
Email: carrkjar@yahoo.com Feedback welcome!!
Homepage Addy: http://www.hunterash.com/
Disclaimers: The characters from Buffy and Angel belong to Joss
Whedon, Fox, Mutant Enemy, Kuzui, and God only knows who else. The
storyline, however, is the sole property of the author. This story
cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story
may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and
copyright notices.
F/F romance: the story assumes a loving and sexual relationship
between people of the same gender. If this offends or is illegal for
you, then please leave. Come back when you are older, have an open
mind, moved, or changed your laws.
Spoilers: Wrecked, Season 6
Summary: This takes place after Wrecked. Willow decides to leave
Sunnydale after the disasters with Rack and black magic. When she's
finally found by Angel and crew, she's nearly dead from exhaustion
and malnutrition and in a coma.
Tara and Xander follow her to Los Angeles to help in her recovery
when the rest of the Gang refuses to be bothered by Willow's
disappearance and problems.
Warning: Buffy is a little self centered and selfish in this one.
Rating: PG-13
++++++++++
Willow blushed as Xander lifted her into his arms out of the car and
Wesley wrestled with the wheelchair from the hatchback. Tara grinned
and held the hotel door open as Xander moved inside and Wesley
followed them.
He sat his friend in the wheelchair as gently as possible. Cordy
moved forward and hugged Willow.
"Welcome home, Willow," she said easily. "We put the two of you on
the second floor, Xander is a couple of doors down, so just yell
loudly if you want something."
"I'm on the third floor and Angel is on the top floor near the roof
access," Wesley added. "Gunn has a room down here so he can tackle
whatever comes through the door."
"I forced Angel to upgrade the electricity around the place," Cordy
grinned as Xander began wheeling his friend towards the elevator and
Gunn got her backpack out of the car. "You've got plenty of outlets
and surge protectors and all that goofy computer geek stuff."
Willow smiled, a little uncomfortable at being the center of
attention.
"Let's get her settled in so she can rest," Xander suggested.
"I think we can take it from here, Xan," Tara said, moving behind the
wheelchair as it reached the elevator.
"You sure?" he asked, overly helpful as Gunn handed Willow her
backpack and Tara her laptop case.
"Yeah, I can get her to the room," Tara said firmly.
"Leave them alone, Harris," Cordy snapped. "They need to talk."
"Oh, okay," he shrugged and leaned down to kiss Willow's
cheek. "Love you, Will."
"I love you, Xan," Willow said gently, grateful she hadn't lost his
friendship.
Once inside the elevator Willow shifted uncomfortably in the
wheelchair.
"What's up?" she asked softly.
"Well, we haven't talked about us much and I wasn't sure if you
wanted to share a room with me," Tara said truthfully as the elevator
door slid open.
"I…I was afraid…you wouldn't want me," Willow stammered.
Tara moved around to the front of the wheelchair and knelt so she was
at eye level with the red-head.
"I love you, Willow Rosenberg," Tara said firmly. "I want us back. I
know that'll take some work, just like your physical recovery. If you
want me."
"Tara," Willow felt tears filling her eyes again. "I never stopped
wanting you and I never intended to sleep with that creep!"
"I know you didn't want to or mean to," Tara nodded. "We can't
change it or forget it but we can move on."
"I want to try, please," Willow said, letting the tears flow and
letting Tara see the love in her eyes.
"Do you need your own room? It'd be easier to help if I was in the
same room," Tara asked. "If you don't want to share a bed yet we
could move in a single."
"I want you, Tara," Willow said softly. "If you need time, it's
okay."
Tara surprised Willow by suddenly laughing.
"We're so afraid of saying the wrong thing!" she giggled and Willow
smiled.
"Yeah," Willow agreed. "Okay, here goes. I love you Tara, I want
you, I need you. However long it takes. I know I really messed up and
you'll never trust me again but I'd really like to try."
Tara grinned and leaned over to kiss Willow, cutting off a typical
ramble.
"I love you, Willow. I want you, I need you and I hope it doesn't
take long. We all messed up and we'll work on the trust thing."
"Tara? Kiss me?"
Tara leaned down to let Willow wrap her arms around Tara's neck and
the witch helped her lover out of the wheelchair and swung her onto
the bed.
Willow was regaining more and more of her strength and mobility but
she still couldn't stand on her own yet.
The red-haired witch moved over on the bed as Tara lay down beside
her. Willow whimpered as Tara drew Willow into her arms and began
kissing her passionately and possessively.
"Touch me, please!" Willow begged, frustrated at the braces on her
wrists, making it difficult to touch the woman holding her.
Tara moaned and moved her lips down to Willow's neck and felt her
lover's body jerk in response. Tara's hands roamed down under
Willow's t-shirt, touching nipples that were already half roused.
Willow whimpered as they hardened.
Tara felt her heart pounding.
"Oh Goddess, Willow," Tara whispered, her voice husky. "Been so
long, I…I need you now!"
"Yes!" Willow agreed, trying to pull Tara closer.
"You up to this?" Tara asked, concerned.
"Shut up and kiss me, damnit!" Willow growled.
Tara gladly obeyed and pulled her own t-shirt off as Willow pulled at
it ineffectively. She helped Willow sit up slightly and removed
Willow's t-shirt and then her sweat pants. Tara moaned when skin
touched skin as she melded against Willow.
"Tara, please don't leave me again, I'm so sorry!" Willow pleaded,
wiping clumsily at her tears.
Tara pulled back slightly and held Willow in her arms, gently rocking
her.
"Shhhh, I'm not leaving you again," Tara whispered, pulling the sheet
up over them. "I once told you that I'm yours, I mean it."
"I'll never do anything like I did after bringing Buffy back," Willow
promised, still sobbing.
"We'll work on the trust and rebuilding your magic skills, Will,"
Tara promised and then asked seriously. "Do you love me?" Tara asked
seriously.
"Yes, more than my life," Willow said easily.
"And Buffy?" Tara asked, holding her breath.
"I love Buffy and there might have been a chance once," Willow
admitted. "But not like you, not what I feel for you."
Tara sighed and hugged Willow tightly as her mate snuggled.
"Okay, then we'll make it," Tara said confidently.
"How did it get so messed up?" Willow mumbled, closing her eyes.
"I'm not sure, I think things were different when Buffy came back and
no one was willing to talk about it or face it," Tara said
thoughtfully. "Xander says Buffy and Dawn have loosened up and want
to know how we're dong."
"I'm not ready to see them yet," Willow grumbled. "I was so lost,
Tara. Everything was so dark and I couldn't see a way out."
"So you tried to kill yourself through neglect?" Tara asked. This
was the first real time they had actually talked in depth.
"I guess. I wasn't thinking," Willow said slowly. "I remember riding
and riding forever from one bus to another. I really had no idea of
where to go. I just kept going, letting the darkness overtake me."
"You had no idea what to do?"
"No, none," Willow said softly. "I knew I was pregnant, might even
be blamed for Rack's death, and none of you wanted me around. All I
could think to do was keep moving."
"You almost ended up back in Sunnydale," Tara laughed softly.
"Yeah, maybe Xander was right," Willow mumbled. "Maybe I was trying
to get to Angel for help."
"Xander's okay about leaving Sunnydale," Tara said, reassuring her
lover. "We're here until you're on your feet and then we can decide
where to go from there."
"If I don't want to go back?" Willow asked softly.
"Then we never go back, I'm yours if you want me," Tara said firmly.
"And I'm yours," Willow smiled. "I love you, Tara."
Cordelia looked in on the pair later and smiled, noticing the bare
shoulders that the sheet wasn't covering and that Willow was curled
in Tara's arms.
+++++++++++++++
Angel sat back and watched everyone interacting in the main lobby of
the hotel six weeks later.
Xander was working with Willow doing some of her exercises; Gunn was
working with a set of weights, teasing the shy red-head; Cordelia was
struggling with the office computer under Tara's tutelage while
Wesley watched Cordelia.
Angel knew that Willow was quickly regaining her strength, she could
get around on crutches most of the time. He also knew that she
hadn't attempted any magic since waking up from the coma. It was
going to take longer for her confidence to heal than those injuries,
he figured.
Buffy walked out of the kitchen area and handed Angel a soda. She
popped her own open and sat down beside him.
"You learning to appreciate human tastes again?" she teased as she
watched Willow struggling.
"Yeah, Spike has been ranting that Dawn's cocoa is nothing like your
mother's," Angel smiled.
"They look good," Buffy commented, indicating the former Scooby Gang
members.
"They're doing well," he agreed. "They're all fitting in. Xander's
been a surprise."
"He's getting as buff as Gunn," Buffy commented. "Xan seems more
confident too."
"Yeah, no offense intended but I think Anya kept him…." Angel
hesitated, looking for the words.
"Whipped?" Buffy supplied.
Angel laughed and nodded.
"I never meant to hurt Willow," she said softly.
"I know that, sometimes you can't see what's happening around you and
your friends suffer," Angel said calmly.
"Harsh, lover," Buffy complained but with a smile.
Angel merely shrugged. "How is Spike?"
"I've been here three days and you're finally asking about him?"
Buffy laughed softly. The smile turned into a frown and she started
to move when Willow stumbled, almost falling. Instead of catching
her, Xander waited patiently for his friend to regain her balance.
Willow got her crutches under her again with a determined look and
resumed her leg lifts.
"She's doing too much," Buffy complained.
"Yes, and she won't listen either," Angel agreed. "Sometimes I think
stubbornness is a Sunnydale trait."
"Willow's going to be okay though, right?"
"Yes, Tara says they plan to soon start working slowly on the magic
stuff. Her physical recovery is getting there."
"Spike is fine, arrogant as usual and I think I made a mistake,"
Buffy said in one quick sentence.
"He and Dawn are going to be pissed when they find out you've been
here and not with your father," Angel pointed out.
"Yeah, they'll kill me," Buffy agreed. "Oh well, been there, done
that."
"What are you going to do?"
"Slowly retire out of the Slaying business, somehow. I'm working with
Anya in the Magic Box, doing the ordering, stocking and stuff," Buffy
said. "I'm thinking of working as a self defense instructor at the
University."
"Good choice," Angel nodded.
"They're not coming back, are they?" Buffy asked, a little sadness
creeping into her voice.
"Probably not," Angel said slowly, watching as Tara moved from the
computer to help Xander get Willow in her wheelchair. The blonde
witch knelt in front of her lover, gently touching Willow's cheek as
Willow reached out to hug Tara. "They're thinking of San Francisco
or Seattle actually."
"Really?" Buffy asked, surprised.
"Yeah, every major city needs services like we do and the four of
them are thinking about moving," Angel said easily.
"Four?" Buffy frowned.
"Xander and Fred have struck up a friendship that might develop into
something more," Angel said with a grin.
"Leave it to Xander to find someone with a confusing past," Buffy
joined in his grin and then frowned. "Why won't they come back?"
"You need to ask them for specifics, Buffy," Angel cautioned. "I do
know that they've changed, you changed and Spike never changes."
"I'm finding that out," Buffy said somewhat bitterly.
"My childe is more than a handful at times, isn't he?" Angel smirked.
"Yeah, he acts like I'm a conquest," Buffy complained.
"You are in the only way he can now fight," Angel commented.
Buffy frowned in thought as Tara wheeled Willow over. The Slayer
looked up with a shy smile. She still felt awkward around the three
former Scooby Gang. Seeing how badly Willow was physically made the
Slayer almost sick with guilt. Tara had been polite and Willow
looked like Buffy was going to strike her for a while.
"You look tired, Will," Buffy said softly.
"Takes a lot out of me," Willow admitted, leaning her cheek against
Tara's arm.
"I'm going to take her up to our room, you staying another night?"
Tara asked with a smile. After three days with Buffy around, the
tension had slowly eased up among everyone and now it felt okay
seeing the Slayer.
"Yeah, I'm going to head out tomorrow sometime," Buffy said
thoughtfully. "I hate to leave the house in Anya, Spike and Dawn's
hands for too long."
"Wow, a house owning, working Slayer," Willow teased lightly, her
head almost dropping.
"Mind if I take her up, Tara?" Buffy asked suddenly. Her sharp blue
eyes saw Tara's hand on Willow's shoulder squeeze in question and
Willow slightly nod against Tara's arm.
"Nope, don't let her try and walk when she's this tired," Tara
scolded slightly.
"Okay," Buffy smiled and stood up to move the wheelchair towards the
elevator.
The Slayer and witch were quiet on the ride up to the second floor.
Once inside the witch's room, Buffy moved around and gently took
Willow into her arms and laid her on the bed.
"You need your shoes off?" Buffy asked.
"Yes, please," Willow said, blushing slightly at her weakened body.
"Will, I…" Buffy stammered as she loosened Willow's laces and removed
the tennis shoes. She grinned at the bright purple socks and Willow
shrugged, grinning as well. "That's my, Will."
Buffy lost her smile. "Guess I can't say that anymore, can I?"
Willow sat up in the bed and patted the bed next to her.
"Come here, Buff," she said softly and Buffy reluctantly sat
down. "I'm sorry I left the way I did. I panicked and I was trapped
in some pretty heavy darkness."
"I should have come after you, I was being selfish again," Buffy
grumbled.
"We both did the only thing we thought we could and we were both
wrong or maybe we weren't," Willow shrugged, reaching out to hold
Buffy's hand. "If I hadn't left like that, Tara might have stayed
away and I would have just killed myself in an easier way. Xander
would still be with Anya and vaguely unhappy."
"I'm glad you didn't kill yourself, I would be so pissed if you did,"
Buffy said softly, her eyes filling with tears. "I love you, Willow,
even if I haven't shown it since I got back."
"Xander told me about Rack and that it wasn't you," Buffy said after
a moment.
"It could have been," Willow said calmly. "If I had a knife on me or
could have thought clear enough to levitate the knife on the altar, I
would have killed him, Buffy. That's something I have to live with."
"Willow, anyone would kill him in those circumstances," Buffy
countered. "I would have killed him, I would have killed him if I
caught him hurting you or anyone."
"You had Dawn to think about instead of coming after me, stop beating
yourself up because I crashed so badly," Willow countered.
"Willow, I thought you were feeling sorry for yourself, that's why we
didn't come after you," Buffy admitted, a tear falling down her cheek.
"Oh," Willow was clearly stunned.
"Tara and Xander didn't tell you," Buffy reasoned.
"They said something like that after I woke up, I guess I just
ignored it or something," Willow said softly.
Buffy let her think, keeping quiet as her former best friend pondered
each of their behaviors.
"I was feeling sorry for myself," Willow said after a few
moments. "It does hurt though."
"I know and I'm sorry," Buffy whispered. "I don't know how to change
what happened. I don't even know how to fix whatever the hell is
wrong with me. I know I'm different since you brought me back and all
I've done is hurt my friends."
"Well, dying for several months and waking up in your own coffin had
to wig you out a little," Willow pointed out with a rueful smile. "We
didn't know how to handle it either."
"Xander was right, I should have reached out to you guys instead of
blaming you and turning to Spike," Buffy said thoughtfully.
"What are you going to do?" Willow asked.
"Stake a bleach blonde vampire when I get home?" Buffy quipped. "I'm
going to throw Spike out and get on with my life with Dawn. I'm going
to try and define my life around my life and not who the heck I'm
dating at the moment."
"Sounds like a plan," Willow smiled, pulling Buffy down next to her.
Buffy hesitated and then snuggled into Willow's arms with a sigh of
contentment.
"What about you? Things working with you and Tara?" Buffy asked.
"Taking it slow," Willow said slowly. "Almost like dating again. We
sleep together and work together but we haven't…haven't…you know."
"Wow," Buffy said softly. "I thought you two were back together."
"We are, sorta," Willow frowned. "We both have to regain each
other's trust. She left me and I was wrong with the magic and the
relationship. We both screwed up. I also need to know she's not here
just because I didn't abandon her when Glory messed with her."
Buffy frowned. "You think Tara has done all of this out of
obligation?"
"Maybe," Willow shrugged. "Not really but I gotta know for sure. I
know she loves me and I love her but the trust was badly damaged.
Among all of us."
"Me too?" Buffy whispered.
"Yeah, but we'll work on that too," Willow mumbled.
"I love you, Will," Buffy said softly as Willow rested her head on
Buffy's.
"I love you too, always have," Willow said wearily.
"You're heading north sometime?" Buffy asked, closing her eyes as
well.
"Yeah, we're thinking San Francisco or Seattle," Willow
muttered. "Something like Angel does here in LA."
"Be good for you guys," Buffy agreed, drifting into sleep with her
friend.
Tara gently closed the door and smiled at Xander, raising her finger
to her lips. He managed to hold his questions until they reached the
stairs.
"Well?" he demanded.
"They made up, I think," she smiled. "They're both asleep on the bed
with Willow holding Buffy."
"Good, I hate to see them fighting," Xander agreed.
"Yeah, they love each other a lot," Tara agreed.
"Not like Willow loves you, though," Xander protested with a frown.
"I'm not worried about that, Xan," Tara smiled.
"Good," Xander grinned. "Angel said he has some contacts in San
Francisco that would help us settle in and start our own business in
a few months."
"Good, let's get Will back on her feet physically and magickally and
we'll plan lots of road trips," Tara suggested. "I like the thought
of SF, still close enough to reach everyone. I don't want to totally
let go of Buffy and them."
"Or Angel and gang, they've been great!" Xander agreed.
"A new life, Xander," Tara said, a touch of wonder in her voice.
Xander grinned in agreement.
END
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