Đây là bài viết cu?a một cháu gái học lớp 10 viết tiểu luận về một đám cưới điển hình của người Á Đông trên đất Mỹ. Xin mời các bạn đọc thưởng thức. Tarin65.

.....Typical Asian Wedding... Oh well, you're already knew how it is....

Wedding reception is always at a Chinese restaurant.

You got a wedding invitation but felt like a funeral one. You know it's time to pay your due.

It always happens on Holidays that really messesup all your plans and vacation.

You've gone too many weddings it feels like you got one every other week.

Your saving is drained out because you've attended too many of them. The only people making money from this are those Chinese restaurant owners.

You came in two hours late but they haven't even started. Only Americans or other nationalities would come on time. And they felt like a fool.

Nobody brings gifts. Only envelopes (with cash or check) are accepted.

The music is so loud you have to yell to talk to the others.

Your table is full of strangers. And nobody talks to nobody.

The tables are so cramped you feel like sitting on an crowded airplane.

The real actors or actresses are the parents who're running the show. The bride/groom have only limited supporting roles. And the Oscar goes to ........the parents of course.

• The MC can't even remember bride/groom's name. And neither can you.
• It takes half an hour just to introduce family members on both sides.
• You wish their speechs are like the one in English: Thanks for coming and enjoy the food.

They served 10 dishes but you felt like you haven't eaten anything.

• The food is so predictable and boring that makes your yesterday leftover looks so good.
• It's against the law if a woman tries to get her own food. She has to wait for her male partner to serve her. What a nice custom!
• For guys It's a crime if they're not serving their female partners.
• By now you should memorize the menu by heart.
• There's a half hour intermission between dishes.
• Those shark fin soups taste like rubber bands.
• By the time you see the fried fish and fried rice you swear you wanna throw up.
• Waiters/ waitresses are no where to be found.
• Waiters/ waitresses treated you like you wouldn't give them any tips even though they already charged tips up front.
• After dumping the food on the table they quickly disappeared into the kitchen like a ghost.
• They took away dishes even though you haven't touched the food.
• There're two waiters for every 100 people.

You say hello to the bride/groom at the front door and that's the last time you talk to them or they talk to you like you never met each other.

Everyone dresses like they're going to a funeral.
• Everything is black and gray.
• It's 100 degrees outside and you're wearing a suit, a long sleeve shirt, a tie around your neck.....
• You swear you could explode any minute.

The most exciting moment of the night is when the groom was forced to kiss the bride.

Everyone got so excited and making all kinds of noises like they never saw someone kissing before.

The bride changes so many clothes as if she is on a fashion show. Bride/groom behave like they're on drug or something. They smile softly, speak politely but their minds are somewhere else. Even on the happiest day of their life you rarely see them laugh.

Except for the bride/groom and mates, average age for people there is like 60.

The music is as old as people at the wedding. They sing broken love songs at the wedding. How thoughtful ! The band playing music like they're working on an assembly line.

The video light is so bright it almost blinds you.

All of the certains the music stops. Here comes....the 'envelope collector'. You couldn't help but thinking Apr-15 already?