Pamela Paulshock---Girl on the Verge

Lock Your Doors 'Cause the Bitch is Back!

Pamela Paulshock is back! Last week marked the return and debut of the interviewer turned wrestler. Pamela teamed with friendly rival The Kat to face Stephanie McMahon and Beulah. The duo worked well together and took down their opponents with ease. Now, Kat and Pamela must team up once again. This time, they face Sable and Gail Kim, another defunct team. Words have been exchanged already but that doesn't seem to faze the blonde diva. She is ready to get back into that ring, win this next match, and show everyone just what the hell she's been doing these last few years.

The Actual Roleplay-Sable and Gail? This One's For You!

Scene One
Screwing Around With Marc Mero

It is dark out. The streetlights have come on as the bright moon reflects the light of the sun in the sky. Pamela Paulshock and three unidentified accomplices have made their way to the deep south-Florida. Crickets chip their nightly music with their legs as the trouble foursome meet around Pamela's lack Pathfinder. They are all clad in black clothing. Pamela carries a flashlight, shining it in everyone's faces. They all wince.

|| Simply Electrifying | Pamela Paulshock ||
Sorry guys.

|| Simply Shocking | Tiffany Evans ||
So, why are we here dude?

|| Simply Nerdy and Original | Devon Townsend ||
Yeah, I could be watching Teen Titans on Cartoon Network right now.

They all stare at him.

|| Simply Nerdy and Original | Devon Townsend ||
What? It's a mature cartoon.

|| Simply Outrageous | Alyssa Mulvahill ||
Right, Dev. I'm sure Captain Planet is also a very mature cartoon.

|| Simply Nerdy and Original | Devon Townsend ||
Hey! Captain Planet is a classic! It's the-

|| Simply Electrifying | Pamela Paulshock ||
Guys! Remember why we're here?

|| Simply Shocking | Tiffany Evans ||
No. You never told us.

|| Simply Electrifying | Pamela Paulshock ||
Oh, right. Well, you know how Sable was married to that jackass Marc Mero for, like, ten years? Well, I found his house and we're gonna go screw with him.

|| Simply Nerdy and Original | Devon Townsend ||
How?

|| Simply Electrifying | Pamela Paulshock ||
With her.

The three look around, confused. Pamela Paulshock whistles and an old woman walks from behind the vehicle. She leans on her cane in a pink, floral robe. A few teeth in the front row of her mouth are missing as she gives them a crooked smile. Devon looks as though he is going to vomit.

|| Simply Electrifying | Pamela Paulshock ||
Meet Grandma Moses. She will be playing Sable tonight.

|| Old and Senile | Grandma Moses ||
Hi. Do you wanna see the grind?

She tries to circle her hips as dust falls from between her legs. A wretched scene escapes from beneath her garbs. She pulls it up to her thighs, ready to show them something they don't want to see.

|| Simply Outrageous | Alyssa Mulvahill ||
No!

|| Simply Nerdy and Original | Devon Townsend ||
Put it back!

|| Simply Shocking | Tiffany Evans ||
Please.

|| Simply Electrifying | Pamela Paulshock ||
Yeah, Moses. Nobody wants to see that.

She puts down her dress as everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

|| Simply Electrifying | Pamela Paulshock ||
Okay. I hooked a micro camera up to your shirt to a monitor in the truck. That way, we see everything you do with Mero and we can tape it.

|| Simply Outrageous | Alyssa Mulvahill ||
Are you serious?

|| Simply Shocking | Tiffany Evans ||
Yeah, I really don't want to see all this.

|| Simply Electrifying | Pamela Paulshock ||
Shut the hell up and get in the car. Moses, just go to the front do and act like you're Sable.

|| Old and Senile | Grandma Moses ||
Do I have to take off my clothes?

Tiffany gags.

|| Simply Electrifying | Pamela Paulshock ||
Just go up to the door and do what he says!

Pamela hops into the vehicle as Grandma Moses makes her way to the door. The Trouble Foursome watches her on the monitor. She rings the doorbell. A few second later, Marc Mero opens it. He is clad in red and black boxing trunks with no shirt.

|| Sable's Ex Jackass | Marc Mero ||
You're not my sis- Sable!

|| Old and Senile | Grandma Moses ||
Mathew!

There is a long pause.

|| Simply Electrifying | Pamela Paulshock ||
Shit. She's gonna blow our cover.

|| Simply Outrageous | Alyssa Mulvahill ||
There's no way that he's gonna believe that is Sable. Not after she called him Mathew. What do we do now?

|| Simply Nerdy and Original | Devon Townsend ||
We could watch Cowboy Bebop.

Alyssa gives him a weird look and smacks up upside the head.

|| Simply Shocking | Tiffany Evans ||
Wait. Look.

|| Sable's Ex Jackass | Marc Mero ||
Sable, what are you doing here?

|| Old and Senile | Grandma Moses ||
I came to see you, Morty.

|| Sable's Ex Jackass | Marc Mero ||
It's Marc.

|| Old and Senile | Grandma Moses ||
All right, Milbert.

|| Sable's Ex Jackass | Marc Mero ||
That's okay. Come inside. I forgot how....beautiful you are.

Grandma Moses smiles through her blonde wig and missing teeth. She tries to blush but since there is no blood in her veins because of her age, her cheeks turn gray with dust.

|| Old and Senile | Grandma Moses ||
Thank you, Maxwell.

The Trouble Foursome tries to stifle their laughs in the Pathfinder. Marc Mero's stupidity is making their faces turn red.

|| Sable's Ex Jackass | Marc Mero ||
Come. Let's sit on the couch and go through the family album.

|| Old and Senile | Grandma Moses ||
Okay, Marclyn.

Marc Mero gives her a weird look. He shrugs it off and walks to the couch with her in tow. He sits down quickly, with ease. As Grandma Moses approaches the couch, her bones start to ache. She walks slower, stopping right in front of it. Then she takes a deep breath and lets out a loud moan as she attempts to sit down. Her bones crack and a pile of dust comes out as she sits on the couch. She brushes the excess stuff off of her lap. Pamela, Tiffany, Devon, and Alyssa are cracking up in the Pathfinder.

|| Sable's Ex Jackass | Marc Mero ||
Here's an old picture of you.

Marc Mero pulls out a stone etching of Sable. He struggles to place the heavy object into his lap.

|| Sable's Ex Jackass | Marc Mero ||
You were so pretty back then. Now you are just gorgeous.

He looks into her glass eyes and kisses her forehead. He wipes off some dust. Devon, watching outside in the Pathfinder, reaches for the door handle. He opens the door and pukes in the street.

|| Sable's Ex Jackass | Marc Mero ||
I think there might be a more recent picture of you.

He reaches behind the couch and pulls out a large picture frame. Taking the sheet off of it, he reveals an oil painting. Sable is clad in a Victorian style dress with a pale face and pinned up hair. She looks like a porcelain doll.

|| Sable's Ex Jackass | Marc Mero ||
This one is one of my favorites. It captures your youth so well.

He strikes her hair, as it falls out into his lap. Devon, just recovering, leans over and vomits into the street once again.

|| Simply Shocking | Tiffany Evans ||
This is sick.

Grandma Moses smiles, showing off her tongue that looks like it's in jail.

|| Old and Senile | Grandma Moses ||
I parted the Red Sea, once.

|| Sable's Ex Jackass | Marc Mero ||
I know. I read about it in the Bible.

The two stare at each other as music from the motion picture Titanic plays. They look deep into each other's eyes. Marc Mero strokes her cheek. She smiles and inhales deeply, as her heart just stopped beating for a second.

|| Old and Senile | Grandma Moses ||
Put your hands on me, Jack.

The song becomes scratchy as they kiss. He pulls her dress off of her shoulders and lays her down on the couch. Simultaneously, four car doors open and four heads pop out, vomiting in the streets. Marc Mero reaches his hand under her dress and feels the edge of her granny panties. He pulls his hand back out and wipes off the dust. Grandma Moses smiles. He sits her up as her bones crack and pulls he dress over her head. The Trouble Foursome, just recovering from puking, leans out and does it again.

|| Old and Senile | Grandma Moses ||
Oh John.

Marc Mero lays her back down onto the couch. He slowly pulls her granny panties off as some green gases escape. Looking into her dark, old crevices, we see cobwebs have appear. He blows them away as she giggles.

|| Old and Senile | Grandma Moses ||
Oh Jew, that feels so good!

Mero goes to kiss her on the mouth as the old woman's heartbeat races. The next thing that follows is some awkward sex between a middle aged man and an elderly hick with a blonde wig on. Marc Mero continues humping as she screams, alarmed.

|| Old and Senile | Grandma Moses ||
MARC! MARC!

|| Sable's Ex Jackass | Marc Mero ||
Scream for me!

|| Old and Senile | Grandma Moses ||
My heart! My heart!

|| Sable's Ex Jackass | Marc Mero ||
Yeah baby!

The four in the Pathfinder are disgusted. Grandma Moses' heartbeat races before she has a heart attack and died. Marc, thinking this was an orgasm, continues humping the dead corpse. The others look on, flabbergasted.

|| Simply Shocking | Tiffany Evans ||
Holy.....shit.

After Marc is done, he smokes a cigarette.

|| Sable's Ex Jackass | Marc Mero ||
That was the best you've ever been.

Pamela quickly turns off the camera. All of their faces are pale and they have sweaty palms. She stares at the others who are deeply disturbed and mortified.

|| Simply Electrifying | Pamela Paulshock ||
Wow. That was the sickest thing I have ever seen. Tiff, get the camera.

Tiffany grabs a camera, slowly trying gain back feeling in her body. The sickness of that act had made her completely numb.

|| Simply Electrifying | Pamela Paulshock ||
First off Sable, what kind of idiot did you marry? That jackass not only believed Grandma Moses was you, he actually had sex with that thing. But hey, I guess he's used to it. Hell, he was married to you for seven years so he must have grown accustomed to screwing a corpse. Jesus, I've never seen anything like that. It reminded me of the feeling I got when you posed in that Playboy magazine. Who would want to pay to see you naked? Right. They thought it was you Sable. We all know that picture was digitally fixed. Let's see what it looked like with no editing.

|| Simply Electrifying | Pamela Paulshock ||
What the hell is that Sable? I think my eyes just went blurry for a second. Face it, Sable. You're over. You're acient history. Put your goods back in the refrigerator because it' past due. Nobody wants to see that anymore. The Wild Cat is now officially extinct. Yeah, that was lame. About as lame as your attempts to make me look bad. Oh, Sable wants to try and be Pamela Paulshock for a week so she puts together a poorly written sketch to deface my name. Look, ya two bit idiot, the only thing that you hurt was your own reputation. Who the hell do you think you're messing with? I'm Pamela Paulshock, not some clueless twit like your useless partner Gail Kim. You wanna talk about wMe days? Then let's talk. I was a two time Women's Champion. I went through women like they were water Hell, I took you down in two seconds flat. What did you do? *silence* Exactly. If you're gonna open your mouth, you better come up with something better than the ineffective crap you've been recycling and regurgitating like it's the cure for cancer. You think I give a damn about what you have to say about me? You don't even know how to speak. What are you? Two? Cum bucket dumpster? Yeah, you paid some actors to make me look like a hick. What a second. You're from Florida! Yeah, the state that ranks 48 out of 50 for education. Who's the idiot now? And you got the nerve to run your mouth about Tiffany? I ought to kick your ass right here and right now. See, Tiffany maybe a slut but she sure as hell isn't a two-cent, good for nothing, old and dejected human joy ride like you, Sable. You have to pay people just to even give you a second glace. Look at ya! Your sully eyes are have fallen in the back of your head, you have about three hairs left on your head, and any bone left in your body is near disconfirmation.

|| Simply Electrifying | Pamela Paulshock ||
How are you gonna survive tomorrow night when you can barely function on your own? You can't even get out of bed without the jaws of life, a rubber band, and three Mexicans trying to peel your flesh from the mattress! Oh, Sable, you're not a threat to The Kat and me. You're not even a mere thought. You're nothing and after tomorrow night, you'll wish you had never opened your mouth. Bitch this and Bitch that? Those words will never make up for the skills that you lack in the ring. That win last week was pure luck. This time, your lucky charms will be gone. If there's anything that is certain, it's the fact that my boot will be permanently imprinted in your flat, wrinkled ass! You said too much, and now you're gonna pay. Enjoy your health for tonight. You won't have it when I am through with you. Start the car, we're getting the hell out of here.

Scene Two
Alone in the Dark

There is no light. Just darkness. Footsteps are heard. A door slowly opens and a small amount of light is let in. The door closes back and the black aura reappears. Footsteps ring in the background and stop. Click. A light bulb turns on, dimly lighting the room. Pamela Paulshock in seen seating in a plain chair. The room is bare. Her clothes are simple. Jeans. Shirt. Shoes. She stares in the camera, not really saying anything. Finally, she is ready to speak.

|| Simply Electrifying | Pamela Paulshock ||
There's a reason that I am here. No jokes. No sets. No costumes. No elaborate schemes. It's just me. Wrestling has never seen that. Now you will. You see, there are many people that say that I cannot wrestle. Because I was an interviewer, someone will always deny my wrestling ability. Tough. You'll learn the hard way never to judge a book by its cover. Sable, it doesn't matter to me that you bring up my past. I could care less. What matters, is that you bring up people you shouldn't. People like, Tiffany. You called her out and she never got a chance to defend herself. Tiff?

Out of nowhere, Tiffany Evans appears.

|| Simply Shocking | Tiffany Evans ||
So, Sable, here I am. It's funny. You sit there and you call me a slut like it's a bad thing. Like I'm really hurt. Wow, I guess you're not so smart as you think you are. yeah, I have an active sex life. Yeah, I've made some mistakes but do you know the difference between you and me? I know who I am and I am damned proud of it. I could have twenty thousand people calling me a whore and it won't affect me. Why? Because I'm not weak like you. Now, I may not be a wrestler but when you mess with me, you'll find out just how much damage a bitch with a short temper can cause. Talk your talk Sable. The second you say the wrong thing, that will be the last thing you say. Screw with me, and you're screwing with your life.

Pamela Paulshock smiles.

|| Simply Electrifying | Pamela Paulshock ||
There's nothing more to say to you Sable. Tiffany said it all for me. Besides, you're not the only person in this match. You have a dysfunctional partner by the name of Gail Kim. Gail, how am I supposed to take you seriously? How would anyone take you seriously when you're a midget running around in a mask. You think you're a wrestler? You're nothing but a show off. You use your flashy moves to dazzle the crowd when that's really all you are. A show. Take away your flying moves and all you have is a half-decent punch. Nothing more. I could break your little body in half, without even trying. I'm not the least bit intimidated by you. You can't even reach past my ankles! why don't you just go back to working in a Chinese restaurant, cutting up dogs, and feeding them to people who don't know any better? Gail, let me put it simple. Shut the hell up. Nobody needs to hear you talk. Everything that comes out of your mouth sounds like one word. Every time I hear your voice, I think of that phrase "Me love you long time!" and I laugh my ass off. Teaming with the Kat to face you two is like being asked to kick a ball for a million dollars. I'm not worried and Kat sure as hell isn't either. What? We're facing Grandma Moses and her partner The Mighty Midget Gail Kim. You two are a couple of cartoon characters, straight from Marvel. Tomorrow night, The Kat and I will advance while you two are left in the dust. Well, with Sable, that's nothing new. She does lay down at night. But that's beside the point. The fact is, you will lose and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. You can call me an interviewer. You can call me a dumb blonde. You can even call on your little Buddha to help you. None of that will prevent the inevitable. The Kat and myself are walking about that arena the winners. Period.

Pamela Paulshock gets up. The screen goes black.