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Traditional Marriage

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Traditional Chinese marriage was not the free union of two young adults to establish a new household. It was the movement of a woman from her natal family to her married family and her assimilation into the new family as an economically productive member of the family corporation and the mother of her husband's children.    In thinking about the social structural constraints on this, it is more useful to think of her as a newly hired corporate employee than as being like a Western bride. She depended upon her parents or other favorably inclined people to find her the best "job" possible, and the family "hiring" her was worried to be sure to get the best "worker" available. As with all things else, the final decision lay with the hierarchically senior decision maker in each family, although as a practical matter the most important voice in making the decision was that of the parents of the potential groom or bride.

In the olden days, when a man was ready to get married, the matchmaker would search for the ideal woman for him by matching the date of birth for compatibility.  When both families accepted the arrangement made, the bride-to-be's family would discuss with the matchmaker on the dowry, whereby the matchmaker would send the request to the groom-to-be's family.

However, in this modern days, the matchmaker job has changed.  Men and women are given the opportunities to look for their ideal spouse.  When the couple agrees to tie the knot, the parents or representative of both families meet to discuss on the preparation of the wedding.  During the discussion, the bride-to-be and her parent's dates of birth will be disclosed.  The parent's of the groom-to-be will engage a feng shui master to select an auspicious date and time for the betrothal gifts exchange ceremony, bed installation ceremony, hair dressing ceremony and wedding date.

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