"Can I stay a bit longer?"...."Stay forever."
Robb Debenport
I want that all consuming love, the one that you smile from at night when you fall asleep and wake up feeling like you can conquer the world! Someone to love you for you, not what you have or what you've accomplished in your life, just for the person, heart and soul that is you. I know you want so much to surrender and yet are scares the hell out of you that you could feel this way. And it shouldn’t, for me being the one, should be able to erase all those fears in you and make you not scared of the unknown, not scared that your heart will be safe in my hands. What I wrote are not just words, that it is truly who I am I need. Can you not feel them as if you were saying them to you directly and in a sense you are. You should find yourself having visions of the strangest things. I walking down the stairs at work and seeing me at the bottom of them, seeing nothing but me at that moment, walking to me, sharing the first kiss of many the one that makes the world momentarily disappear and sends chills through your whole body. Remember the movie WAITING TO ME KISS, Drew Barrymore say, “ That thing, that moment. When you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person; and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life." When you kiss me I will be frozen because I’ve always told my best friends, that I will know by the way she kisses me. My soulmate will kiss me like no other before and make everything disappear around us, the only thing I will feel and know at that moment is she and I lost in each others souls. We could easily fall in love with anyone, and just make do with the next person that comes along. But for what reason? To still have the ache and desire and need to connect your soul with it's other half? What a sad way to live out life. I have had so many opportunities to date all types of women, but none of them ever gave me the feeling like with them was where I belonged. I want someone to love all of me, inside more than out, yes it is so very important to be attracted to the one you are with, I’ve met some very beautiful women but once I got to know them they were the ugliest human beings I’d known. As you sit here does your heart pounding in your chest. As you the more you read, do you get more connected me, the more you want to come - no run to me and say "Hi, I’m sorry it took me so long to find you darling, but you didn’t speak loudly enough to me until now. But I did hear you and I am here to love you forever." does that scare the hell out of you? I am scarred sometime, my heart race thinking "here she is, but she is a little frightened. Does she know I’m scared too?" I sit here and wonder where you are right now - at home? At the office? At Starbucks? Are you thinking about me too? Wondering what I am doing? My heart truly started pounding at work today and it hasn’t stopped. Is this how your feel all the time? Is my heart pounding because it is now mimicking yours? I know you have many thoughts racing through your mind. I will ease your fears if you get scared? I will be strong enough to hold you until they go away, like you would do for you? On the days I seem quiet, will you kiss me all over my face and ask me if I’m OK? Like I would do for you? Will you think it cute that when I say I love you? And I ask you do you know how much? And I tell you more than all the stars in the sky and more than all the fish in the sea! Will you laugh like a little kid and kiss me and hug me tight? Will you shower with me every morning and make love to me every night? And on the nights when we don’t make love...will you turn away angry or will you kiss me and hold me all night long?
From my search I realized a few conclusion. I learned that love is God. These two things are intimately related. They each demand sacrifices trust and surrender. Sex is the marriage of love and God. Without sex a relationship is just a causal relationship. Love does not "just happen." You are able to attract the love you want. We always get what we ask for. However, it not what is in our heads that the universe listens to, what is in your heart is what you will get. Most people think they know what their heart wants, some do, but many change their mind all the time. The really goal of relationship is not to find love, but to heal yourself. To heal the issues that come up as a result. My soulmate, I dream of a time when I am with you, when I can look into your eyes and know that no matter what you will never leave me. So you see, I cannot give up my search for you. I hope as you read you will find that in the process of looking for you, you will see yourself with me already. In writing my journal, I realized where home really is. Home is where the heart is.
My love is not a gift randomly given out to just anyone in passing. I am tried of trusting my soul to people who don't value the essence of my heart. It has been such a long road to find you. Like that movie "AI,"the little mechanical machine boy, David, forever searching to be real so that his real mother can love him. I am forever seeking the love of my soulmate. His dream of being loved motivates him to overcome the evil and pain of this world. As I continue to my feeling here, I hope you get a sense or a feeling as though I am writing them to you. I dream of seeing your face that I have so often envisioned in my mind. Right now though, your face to me is blank. I count the days as to when I can fill in those blanks with every day passing by I begin to fantasize how good we would be together. I know our lives would be filled with nothing but true love, much happiness, and laughter always:)" I know you are there, very close, I can almost reach out and feel your hand, your face. God I am scared and very nervous. Do you feel the same as me? Please tell me that you do! Can all of this be true reality? Are we destined to meet fall madly in love, share our love for one another and have the best life that God has intended us to have? Please soulmate show me the way to that avenue of pure happiness. Will you? I am in need of it just as you are...
There's a candle in my window and its burning bright to light your way home. I’m feeling sentimental because my Love you have been gone for so long. Could it feel the same way it is supposed to feel? Will my Love bring you every thing you need? Show me the way, back to your heart and my Love will lead you through the dark. As the night falls on my window and the stars above remind me of your eyes the wind that brings these changes are blowing cold on me tonight while I'm lying in bed. I fell asleep thinking of what it would be to find my female half. To look at you and see a reflection of myself and a part of me that has been missing for so long. I wondered to myself what it would be to bring together such a spiritual and authentic union and how could it be those two people could share the same energy from far away. And how this energy woke me up to the point that have been sleeping for so long. I gave up hope that there was anyone on this earth that thinks about love in the way that I do. That love wakes you up to yourself, makes you want to be a better person and strive to taste, smell and touch all that there is in life in its ripeness and rawness of being. When someone loves me truly I feel like I can overcome anything jump the highest mountain and swim the stormy seas. I could uproot a tree and carry it with me, walk barefoot over hills and valleys to reach the arms of the one who loves me. It is so simple and yet so complex. So often I have met people and they do not possess the capacity for love that I speak of and so, many people often will read my words and my heart and think that they hear it but, in truth they are just looking to fill up an egotistical piece of themselves that says. Now look what I've got here and as soon as they are successful in getting me interested, drop the ball entirely through betrayal or lack of attention. I am like a flower that needs constant sunlight. When I have sunned I bloom, but the dark makes me wilt and wither leaving me to feel lonely and abandoned. I guess this would tell you that I am emotionally "needy" but, I can also tell you that conversely I am thankful for any and all attention that I receive in fact I crave it and have gone to great lengths to get it.
What exactly then do soulmates mean to each other? I believe and have always believed that I have a "split-apart" I believe that out there in this world is the female side of me. We have been lost and estranged from each other but I believe that someday I will recognize you the day that we would meet. I know what it is to see someone's soul through their eyes. I know what it is to look inside someone and see the breath of life. To see the spark and the passion in their eyes and their heart. The package that we come in is not up to us really. I mean there are things about each and every one of us that we have no control over. It is not important to me to find a playboy model. My only desire is to look into the eyes of another and see the breath of life. To see the fire that needs to be ignited because I know that once this fire is ignited the inward beauty becomes evident on the outside. In a certain glow or aura that emanates from within the soul.
CONTINUE TO NEXT LINK
1- Conversation WIth God
2- Living, Loving & Learning
3- Your Scared Self
4- The Roadless Traveled
5- Feeling Good
6- Quantium Consciousness
7- Personal Power