|
I often wonder what it is that I am feeling. I mean this is crazy isn't it? I feel love in my heart for you. My emotion wells up inside me and then the tears come, like some kind of purgation. My Love needs a place to go. It is far to large to stay inside of this body and when it wells the tears come uncontrollably. I am not afraid to tell you so, I am not afraid to look like a fool for Love. I can't really help it even if I wanted to. Sometimes I wonder what is happening to my mind and my body. I wonder if somehow this love that I am feeling is growing larger by the day. I try to grasp what I feel I try to chart and map it and then I lose it all together. This is one of the reasons why I am writing this journal. Does your mind run away with you? Do you wonder what next, what if? And what is written on the sky for the future of you and I? I wonder why I am here sitting here with all of these feelings. I feel this Love in my heart and wonder why you are not here with me? Why does it have to be this way? Why does my heart well up with? I wonder if what I am feeling is real, if you think I am crazy or maybe I am just a fool? And yet I put my fingers to these keys and I feel like they are connected to my soul. . I have these feelings and they instantly splayed onto the page. It is as if this is my divine connection to you. Do you ever read the words to yourself at night in bed and know that our souls are connected. Do you think I am crazy? Do you think this man is on a day pass? There is no one on the face of this earth that thinks like this? Do they? I feel you with me even though you are not ever present in my life physically. I wonder why you came to me. I asked God for someone to Love. I wrote in my journal every day. Dear God, if it is not asking too much Please send me someone to love and here you are and I cannot even touch you, feel your skin next to me, feel the touch of your lips to mine, feel our bodies intertwine. I feel helpless and yet I know that you feel this. I feel this desperate feeling of longing, a desperate feeling of wanting, sometimes obsession and then I think this just cannot be happening and so I cry. It doesn't know where else to go and so the tears come from my heart from my soul like rain they pour out. My body feels cold then, until it passes and then I am instantly better after my purgation as if it has emptied itself and then it grows again and the process repeats itself? Is this so crazy and insane? Could I really feel this way? Will you read my words and feel my heart and soul behind them? Will you read my words and know that I am a man of passion. A man that has had love bottled in his heart that has been growing for years with really no where to go. "We are all just homeless boys and girls" I am looking for home. I constantly wait and wonder if someday it will happen. I wonder if I will ever make it to you arms and feel them fold around me? What will we say to each other when we meet? How will you feel and will we finally be home? I wonder this so often all the time. What if you see me and I am not what you are expecting? Would the words and the passion of my soul be enough to keep you from running away? How wills it happen? Where will it be? I really have no one to tell. No one to talk to about this and so I just writes and writes and writes. I mean could anyone really understand this? That I feel REAL LIVE LOVE in my heart. I know how I feel. I cannot deny it. But who would guess that I could love a woman so deeply and truly that I have never met never touched her body and yet her soul is my own. We are so much alike and FEEL the same how could this be happening? And yet it is, will you touch these pages tonight my Love and know that these words are connected to the heart and soul of a woman in Love. I am so afraid of the cloud of unknowing. I am so afraid of the what ifs and the not knowing. I cannot lie to you, but what I feel inside tells me that I cannot deny my heart and what I feel for you
Are my words speaking directly to you? Do you want to know more about me? I want to know if you are as obsessed with love as I and how far you are willing to go to be with your soulmate. Are you willing to give up to get? Are you willing to work toward it? Do you think I am stalking your sex? If I showed up at your door and said "Good afternoon would you please make love to me" would you have me removed from the premises or would you invite me in knowing that my loving heart guided me to your doorstep? Would you be willing to make time for me? To know the me of who I am and all my inner intricacies. Would you let me know you? Or would you remain closed keeping me behind a chained linked fence to wonder and guess. My love I tell you that I need all of these things. I need a path of togetherness of loving and hand holding. Are you were willing to take a risk and step into something that you have never known? .
I want to know right now how you are feeling do you think that we could really pull this off? I want to know every feeling that you have ever experienced. I want to get inside of your heart your soul mind and body. Would you let me? Or would you walk away? Would you be afraid to let yourself go because you felt vulnerable? Will you be afraid to tell me everything and spill your soul to me? What has the past done to your future? I can tell you that mine has made it very hard for me difficult to trust? Difficult to close my eyes and just falls back. I want to know what your heart tells you right now at this very second. I want to know what you feel and what you think about Love and will you be willing to reach the sky to get it? I know that I love the woman, the woman that lives inside my heart. For me, you are there always walking with me today and walked with me yesterday. I want you to walk taller than ever knowing that there is someone in this world that loves you. Look at your world and tell me how it speaks to you. Look at the sky and tell me what the clouds say to you. Do you see white streaks across the sky or do you see them as soft and billowy full of dreams and undiscovered treasure. We are under the same sky together. The sky that connects the heavens that brought this love together. I cannot stop thinking about it. It is an obsession that I carry in my heart. Will you stop me here? Will you tell me this is not so? That I am not feeling in my heart this feeling of love so deep and so real. Please if you would. Could you just stop me now if you do not feel my heartbeat? Can you hear my voice call your name? Will you listen as I talk gently to you in the language of love? Will you think this is not happening? Will you go on living in ambiguity? Never acknowledging me or my name or who I am to you? Do you know me yet? Do you know who I am? Do you recognize me as a spirit of your past? Present? Future? I think of you always in my day in my evening and in my dreams. You are beside me and always part of me. Will you tell me? Will you give me your soul from where you are standing? Will you chain our souls together through your words to me? Will you give me the Love and beauty from inside your heart that makes you so beautiful to me? I will treasure them always, your precious feelings your heartbeat is my breath
Continue to next link
|
|
