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Minutes from 1-12-00
The Spirits met at Swift's Hibernian Lounge, named after the Irish satirist Jonathan Swift, 1667-1745. (Language lesson of the day: Hibernian means Irish in Latin). Sean by day (Murph by night), Stefanie (Arck) and Ross (Sauce) were the first to arrive, at around 7:30. We knew the Spirits would feel at home here when we entered the back room, where the chalkboard proclaimed: "Swifts is proud to present a wide selection of spirits." They boast 30 single malts, 20 premium vodkas, 20 top shelf tequilas, and almost 50 bottled beers from all over the world. "You know it's a good place when you sit next to a guy with an eye patch. " Said Stefanie (spelling lesson # 1 Stefanie with an F, not P-H). Sauce was relieved that we were here on Wednesday, and not Tuesdays, when Swifts hosts a traditional Irish music session. "These benches are made for people with no asses" - Sauce laments. Arck entertained us with her tales of New Year's Eve. Some excerpts: "...I was drinking Ketel One (www.Ketelone.com), chasing it down with TastyCakes ... I woke up in vinyl pants and nothing else...then I had to do the walk of shame in vinyl pants. And everybody knows, because nobody wears vinyl pants in the morning." Too bad we missed that party, because Stefanie was told that she had fun, and she was still hung over 48 hours later. At 8:45, Softcore Erica (spelling lesson # 2, with a C, not a K) arrived, in the midst of our planning of an Avenue B bar crawl. (Saturday, February 26th, details to follow). Also on the drawing board is a bar crawl in the Williambsurg area (here comes the neighborhood) Meanwhile, Sauce was eyeing a girl in the corner with a plunger hat on her head. "I want to take her home". We will assume that he wants her to work on his plumbing. At 9:10, Naughty Niki showed up. It is her last Wednesday night in NY because she is moving to Boston. Do I hear Boston Spirits? At 9:15, Snotty Seraphim (spelling lesson #3, with a P-H, not an F) arrives, as does James & Wendy, friends of Niki (they like each other, maybe even enough to get married). New Year's Eve story # 2: "I walked home on a highway." - Snotty Seraphim. We did not hear if she was alone or not. Swift's serves a limited menu of bar food (pronounced Barf Ood). Arck had a field green, which was actually red with tomatoes, and Naughty Niki is having Bangers & Mash. She's never had them before, but tomorrow morning, she'll learn why they are called "Bangers". At 10:10pm, our waitress cracks a smile. Thank God, we were beginning to think she hates us. "She loves me". Guess who said that? Not Sauce, Not Murph, but Naughty Niki, justifying her nickname. "Is that the best Guinness you've ever had?" asks Wendy, who likes James, "because that's what their website says." James, who likes Wendy, replies, "The best Guinness is a free one!" "Or your ninth one", adds Murph. "Yeah, and your 10th is the worst!" says James (W.L.W.) Swift's was playing some cool music, and during one '80's sequence, the curious Wendy (who likes James), then wondered why everywhere you go, you hear The Smiths. Because they are ubiquitous, some would say omnipresent, much like the name Smith itself. The band was probably named on a day that Morrissey was feeling drab, which narrows it down to every day of his life. At 10:34 (but who's counting) Ruddy Steve (spelling lesson #4, Stephen with a P-H, not a V) arrives with his friend Paul, who rolls his own. Six minutes later (that's why they call it taking the minutes), Sara Schaefer arrives with two friends to be named later. (spelling lesson #5, Schaefer with an F, not a P-H) Sadly, Softcore Erica, the self proclaimed "partiest of poopers" had to leave because she had an 8am meeting in Harlem. She does noble work, which we respect. This just in, Sara's two friends are Simone & Davide, from Italy. Viva Italia! ~11 (pronounced 'around eleven', not tilde eleven), Jen (spelling lesson #6, with one N), who is friends with Snotty, arrives with Scott, making his NY Spirits debut. Scott has lived in a Brownstone, lived in a ghetto, lived all over this town. Jen started to chat, but thought better of it when she saw that I was writing down everything she said. Meanwhile, in the alphabetical scheme of calling the next bar, Scott is virtually at the bottom of the list, since Sean (aka Murph) just called this one. And now for something completely different... Since this was Naughty Niki's last Wednesday (for now), here are her farewell comments: "The Club is my life. I will be sad without it. You will be sad without my _ips. [ I'm sorry, I can't read her hand writing, it either says hips or lips] It is a sad day. Bye-Bye Love, Niki In other news... Sauce & Scott are explaining that Ruddy Steve does not understand the Introduction Technique. You know the technique, the one where you introduce the guy whose name you know, so that the guy whose name you forget will say, "hi, my name is Scott." Scott (the second T is silent), and Sauce turn to politics. Sauce says Gore for Four, while Scott, the ex-Republican, is a Bradley fan. And what about Bush? Some say he peaked too soon, but McCain may not have the bucks to pull of a victory. In the end, it will probably be the economy in Nov. '00 that is the deciding factor. Overheard (for about the 10th time): "I love that girl!" Finally, at 12:05, Michael Gates, heir to the Gates fortune, arrives in time to hear some New Year's resolutions, including one called out from the crowd, "no more titty bars!" [Shit, someone just came by my desk when I was typing this. I hope she didn't see it!] Oh, and Malibu was a no show. Cheers, Murph www.Murphguide.com ====================================================== Appendix History Lesson #1 (From A&E's website, Biography.com): Swift, Jonathan 1667 -- 1745 Clergyman and satirist, born in Dublin, Ireland. He studied at Dublin, then moved to England, where he became secretary to the diplomat, Sir William Temple. During a visit to Ireland, he was ordained in the Anglican Church (1695). He wrote several poems, then turned to prose satire, exposing religious and intellectual complacency in A Tale of a Tub (1704), and produced a wide range of political and religious essays and pamphlets. He was made dean of St Patrick's, Dublin, at the fall of the Tory ministry in 1714, and afterwards visited London only twice. His world-famous satire, Gulliver's Travels, appeared (anonymously, like all his works) in 1726. In later years he wrote a great deal of light verse, and several essays on such topics as language and manners. He also progressively identified himself with Irish causes, in such works as The Drapier's Letter (1724) and the savagely ironic A Modest Proposal (1729). (Oh, and 255 years after his death, he has a pretty cool pub in the East Village)
