Truths 4 
PamalaSt@aol.com

 DISCLAIMER : See part 1

Walking into my building, even in the car on the way back, in spite of the ridiculous hour and everything I've been through the last few weeks, I feel great. I told Scully the truth tonight and instead of being angry or hurt, she reached out to me. She let me in freely, setting aside all doubts to let me see the truth in her heart and mind that I've tried so desperately to reach. Hell, all the things I've yearned to know for years.

I could see her understanding. All the things I've done to show her what she is, and what she means to me, have not gone unnoticed. All along, she'd cherished each moment I'd stepped over the line we had drawn between us. Her inaction nothing more than her belief system and her fear getting in her way.

For some reason, she believes that she is not allowed to lean on anyone. Her "I'm fine, Mulder" really meant "My problems are my responsibility; I can't inflict them on anyone." Not just me. Anyone. On some level, she longed accept the support and comfort I had often tried to give her but she believed it would be unfair to me. As if she would be a burden to me in some way.

Scully accepted me and all that I wanted to be to her, and only then in that empty park could not hide from me the fact that she longed for the same.

I suppose I should feel great. After all these years of growing closer, not sure where our relationship was heading, finally finding a clear understanding of what I wanted only to spend nearly a year confused and uncertain of her feelings, tonight Scully closed her eyes, laid her head against my chest, and told me the one thing that will give me the strength and determination to do whatever it takes to protect the future.

Scully loves me. Not just as a partner, a friend, or even a lover. But completely. The way I love her. Two parts of one whole that can't be separated now that they've found their way together.

I just stand here in the elevator for far too long, reliving the last couple hours, blissfully unaware that I've failed to punch the buttons sending the damn thing upward. We really didn't say much on the walk back to our cars. But I suppose we didn't need to.

Fitting we should confess our feelings to one another in utter silence. Unspoken understanding and devotion to one another has served us well in the past. Why choose now to mess with a system that works?

At the car, we said our good-byes, awkward and strange following the depth of what we had shared only moments before. I did the noble thing thanking her for coming and offered up one more apology for the nights I spent in her apartment taking comfort from touching her thoughts without her knowledge. I expected disappointment from her in what I had done but instead she smiled, rising up on her toes to whisper in my ear, "I had a good idea what you were doing all along, Mulder; you're forgiven."

As we stood there together in the dark, instead setting her feet back on the ground and turning for her car, she rose up on her toes and brought her lips to mine for the first real kiss of all our years together.

Even now, unable to recall getting off the elevator and walking down the hall to my door, standing here fishing in my pockets for the keys and I still I can't get it out of my head.

The thought of kissing Scully had crossed my mind so many times. I'd even given it a shot last year when I was sure I'd lost her for good. And while I'll admit it was no fiery explosion of pent up passion -- not the kind of kiss that we'd end up all over each other on the hood of the car or diving into the back seat -- it was nice.

It was what was, was right for us and the road we'd traveled to get to this point. Very nice! Warm, gentle and full of all kinds of promise for the future.

As I turn the key, the door locks instead of unlocking. Reality comes rushing back at me. I know that I locked it when left. Someone has been in my apartment. I reach for my weapon before turning the key again, realizing they might still be inside. Not being officially declared sane enough to be armed, I open the door and walk inside, ready to meet whoever might be inside with little more than my bare hands and quick wit.

I let my guard down as soon as I see her sitting there, bathed in cool light from the fish tank. "What are you doing here, Diana?" Even as I say the words, I'm shocked at my disinterest. I don't really care to hear what she wants or what she has to say. I only want her to leave.

The quiet and the emptiness of the room hits me and, with no desire to hear the static that filters the lies and deceit floating around inside her head, I reach for the TV for distraction. But before I can get to it, I hear it. A clear thought from her mind finding its way into my head. It's fear! Only the simple raw emotion of real fear cuts through the static.

She looks at me and the fear I can hear in my head is reflected in her eyes as she speaks. "Fox, I need your help."

I know better than to let my guard down. Best to let her do the talking and see if I can get to any of the truths that Diana Fowley has buried so neat beneath her lies. "What do you want from me, Diana?"

"They're going to kill me, Fox. I need your help. I don't know what else to do or who I can turn to." The thoughts in her head echo her words.

Sitting down at my desk, unwilling to offer any physical comfort, I keep my distance urging her to continue. "Who wants to kill you, Diana? And why?"

She looks away, perhaps considering her words or making a decision between more lies and the truth, before her gaze settles back on me in the dimly lit room. "Because of you, Fox. They don't need me anymore because of you. I think you know who."

"Why me, Diana?"

She looks away again, unwilling to meet my eye. "They only needed me because they thought I could help them control you. They brought me back here, offering me everything I ever wanted, in exchange for my stepping back in to your life and helping them to keep you in line. They thought I had power over you. They believed you still cared for me."

She looks me in the eye again, giving me a glimpse of the honest and decent Diana I once knew. "But they were wrong. I have no hold on you. I knew all about Dana before I got here but as soon as I saw the two of you together, I knew what she meant to you. I knew all your trust , faith.... "

Tears begin to well up in her eyes and she has to clear her throat before she can continue. " and everything else you are is wrapped up in her. There was no place for me in your life. But it was too late. I'd already made the deal and I had to do what I could to keep up the illusion. I had to make them believe."

My stomach turns with the knowledge of what she's done. I rub my eyes, feeling suddenly exhausted by the hour and by the emotions doing battle in my head. All at the same time I feel anger, pity, and disgust for her. "And now?"

She walks over, kneeling on the floor before me reaching out taking my hand in hers "And now they know the truth. They know I have no hold on you. Only one person does and they can't touch her. Scully would never turn against you, Fox. And even if they've tried to remove her from your life, they've failed. They gave her to you all those years ago to keep you in line, never realizing they had given you the one thing that would make you unstoppable."

She looks up at me in the dark with a final plea. " Please, Fox, will you and Scully help me?"

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