A Case Of Missing Identity
by Izzy

Part 1

"That's not the touchdown, this is the touchdown."

AJ frowned. "Brian said this was the touchdown five minutes ago."

"Well, he lied," Nick said, shooting the so-called 'liar' an apologetic look. "This is the touchdown."

"Whatever man," AJ answered. He rolled his eyes and grabbed the plush football off of the carpeted floor. "Your touchdown doesn't count anyway."

"What?! Why?"

"Because. You ..." AJ trailed off and glanced at Brian for help.

"You cheated," Brian filled in. Nick stared at them.

"How?" he asked incredulously.

"Gotta stick to the rules, Nick," Brian continued calmly, taking the football out of AJ's hands.

"What rules?" He was lost.

Brian shook his head, trying to hide his smile. "You see? If you don't know the rules then how can we expect you to follow them?"

Nick made a face at him and AJ smirked.

"Alright boys, let's decide. Which is the touchdown?"

AJ and Nick both pointed to their different markers stubbornly.

Brian rolled his eyes. Kids. "How about the coffee table? We'll move it back and play in that direction."

Nick and AJ looked at each other and shrugged.

"Yeah?" Brian tried.

"Okay."

"Yeah, fine."

So the three of them moved the heavy table and turned the imaginary playing field in a different direction. Brian looked around. These hotel rooms had too much furniture in the way. He pushed one of the couches back a couple inches and turned to look at the two younger boys.

"Okay now, so which is the touchdown?" he tested. They both pointed to the newly arranged wooden coffee table and Brian smiled. "Alright, got it." He tossed the soft football to AJ. "Go ahead, champ."

And the game went on with no major disasters for at least ten minutes.

It hit five feet from the end zone.

Brian finally had the football and was trying to make his way past Nick and AJ for the touchdown. Since they were playing in such a small space they weren't playing touch football, it was more along the lines of 'bring the man down anyway you think you can' football.

It hadn't proved dangerous thus far.

Brian jumped on one of the long couches and tried to use it as a shortcut, but the second his feet were back on the floor he was tackled from behind. He felt himself falling and tried to take the extra step toward toward the table but the two extra bodies gave gravity the extra boost it needed and they landed in a heap on the floor with a thud.

And a crack.

Brian's jerked up at the sound, and he pulled himself off the ground first. "Guys?"

"Ow ..." Nick mumbled, trying to sit up. Brian took him under the arms and pulled him up on his feet easily.

"You okay?" The kid nodded and Brian looked down at AJ, who hadn't moved. "AJ? You alright?"

No answer.

"AJ," Brian repeated, squatting down and giving the jean clad leg a swat. "Jay?"

No response.

"AJ, look at me." Brian's voice got a little nervous at the lack of response, and he touched the kid's cheek gently. "Wake up, buddy."

"AJ, get up," Nick pressed worriedly, dropping down next to them on the floor and touching AJ's arm.

"Shit," Brian muttered.

"What's wrong with him?"

"He must've hit his head on the table or something." His heart skipped a beat. "Go get Kev."

Nick stared at AJ in shock, the worst possible scenarios running through his head. What if-

"Nicky, listen to me. Go get Kevin. Quick."

Nick scrambled up off the floor and ran out of the room.

"C'mon AJ," Brian murmured, rocking back on his heels. "Wake up, wake up ..." If only he hadn't made the damn table be the touchdown.

"What the hell happened?" Kevin stormed into the room, Nick right behind him.

"We ... He ..." Brian felt himself being pushed out of the way as Kevin dropped to the floor next to them.

"I told you to stop fucking around with the football an hour ago, didn't I?"

Brian rocked back on his heels, blue eyes wide. Kevin never cursed at him. Ever.

"What'd he hit is head on, the table?" Kevin looked up impatiently when he didn't get an answer and saw Brian staring hard at the floor. "Brian."

"Yeah. The table."

Kevin cursed. "We gotta get him to the hospital."

"Is he gonna die?" Nick's voice was worried.

"No, he's not gonna die." Kevin's voice was frustrated. "He just bumped his head real hard. C'mon."

-

Damn fooling around.

A precious day off and goofing off was forcing them to spend it in the hospital. Kevin ran a hand through his hair and let out a short breath. Right then AJ was going for x-rays to make sure he didn't actually crack open his skull, and Kevin couldn't help but feel a little guilty.

Sure he wasn't their babysitter or their dad, he was their bandmate, but he inwardly berated himself for not having checked on them more. Okay, so he had told them to stop fooling around a hundred times that hour, but still. That damn feeling of fault wouldn't go away.

He sighed.

The waiting room was empty besides the three of them. Fluorescent lights lined the speckled ceiling, emitting an irritating buzzing drone that was destined to aggravate even the calmest of nerves.

Kevin's eyes trailed along the walls that were sparsely decorated with paintings done by someone who either saw things as no one else did or who was missing their hands. Why couldn't they just get nice paintings that the everyday person could figure out what they were of? Kevin gave gave up on studying one of the jumbled splotches and rested his eyes on Nick and Brian.

The two hadn't spoken since they had arrived at the hospital. Well, he hadn't spoken to them either. At first he was irritated at that this whole thing wouldn't have happened if the three misfits had just listened for once, but he was pretty much over that now. It was no one's fault. Right.

And it hadn't gone unnoticed that when he took a seat in one of the cracking waiting room chairs that the two had chosen their cracking seats as far away from him as the confined space of the room would allow.

"You two are quiet," Kevin said after a minute of watching them stare at the wall.

Surprised eyes turned on him, but neither said anything.

"AJ hits his head and you two become mute, is that it?"

Still silence. Kevin rolled his eyes and grabbed a magazine off the short table in front of him. He didn't have the patience to deal with them.

"Are you still mad?" Brian asked finally, watching him. Kevin looked up from the magazine he had flipped open blindly.

"I wasn't ever mad. I was just ... annoyed."

"Is there a difference?"

Kevin shook his head. "Look, Brian, I was just a little annoyed at the fact that- "

He cut himself off at the looks on their faces. Alright, so they were blaming themselves too. His 'if you had listened this could have been prevented' speech sure wouldn't help that matter.

"I'm not mad," he said slowly.

Brian nodded and went back to staring at the floor with Nick. Great.

"Guys! I got the message, what happened?"

Howie's entrance into the room broke the sudden silence. Kevin sat up straight and tossed the magazine aside as Howie sank into the seat next to him.

"What happened to AJ? Is he okay?"

"He hit his head playing around and got knocked out," Kevin answered. "They're just doing some x-rays and stuff but they think everything will be okay. They're gonna come get us as soon as that's done."

Howie nodded, the worried look not leaving his features. "Did they say when he might wake up?"

Kevin shook his head. "Not since last time the nurse talked to us. They said it depends on the extent of the head injury, so hopefully soon."

Howie nodded and leaned back in the chair, hearing it let out an annoyed creak. He hoped for soon too. "What a day off, huh Kev?"

Kevin smirked, shaking his head. "You can say that again."

"Do you think-"

His question was cut off by a hollow knock on the door frame. Four pairs off eyes looked up to find a woman there in nurse's attire, a nametag clipped to her front pocket.

"Here for Alexander McLean?"

"Yes," Kevin answered, getting to his feet. "Anything new?"

"Well the x-rays showed no apparent fracture to the skull," she started. "Which is good news but doesn't rule out a concussion. They've transferred him to Room 111 temporarily, so the nurse up there can fill you in on more details. He's awake, but-"

The 'but' was cut off as three other young guys jumped to their feet, not wanting to hear anymore.

"He's awake?"

"Can we go see him?"

The nurse nodded, letting the unfinished sentence stay that way. "Sure, you can see the nurse up there to find out what's going on, okay?"

Kevin nodded. "Sure. Thanks for your time."

"No problem. Good luck."

-

The sound of AJ arguing with a nurse almost put the guys at ease upon their entrance of the compact hospital room. The kid certainly sounded like he was back to his usual self.

Until they heard part of the words.

"Look hon, if you don't know what day it is-"

"Maybe I do and I just don't want to tell you ..."

"Well, let's start with my original question. What's your name?"

"What's yours?" came the defensive retort. Why was she asking so many questions?

"Kayla." The nurse pointed to her nametag. "And yours?"

The kid glanced down as if hoping he'd have his own nametag to help him out too. No such luck.

"Hey AJ!" Nick greeted from the door.

"AJ?" he repeated unsurely, looking up at the doorway. AJ ... A nervous feeling swept through his stomach at the unfamiliar name.

"Is that your name?" Kayla asked gently.

Kevin watched the exchange curiously, noticing for the first time the lost look in AJ's brown eyes. He looked at the nurse with a frown. What was going on?

"Yeah, that's my name," AJ agreed hesitantly.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

The nurse smiled sadly as the boy's eyes betrayed the bluff.

"I'm sure," he repeated. "Positive. Who're they?"

The four guys stared at him in surprise and his stomach twisted. What was with that look, was he supposed to know them? He shut his eyes for a second and wished the pounding in his head would go away.

"Kayla," he started in a soft voice. "Who're they?"

"They're your friends, sweetie," she answered in a low voice so only he could hear. "You don't remember?"

"How am I supposed to remember them when I've never seen them before in my life?" came the panicked answer. "I've never seen them! Do they know me?"

"Shh, calm down. We'll figure things out. Let me go have a talk with them, alright?"

AJ nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. It was a mistake. The dummies had the wrong room or something. He rubbed his eyes and tried to concentrate. Funny, he couldn't even remember his own name.

"Amnesia?" Kevin repeated when they were out in the hall. "He has amnesia?"

"It's usually only temporary," Kayla started slowly. "It's common a lot of times with head injuries. Sometimes it only lasts a couple hours, other times a few days."

"So he doesn't remember anything?" Nick asked softly.

"Well there's short term and long term memory loss that can contribute to amnesia. Sometimes a patient can remember only little things, other times their whole past. It's based on the individual."

They stared at her, speechless. Kevin finally cleared his throat.

"What do we do?"

"He needs support. You can supply familiar music, objects, photos- anything that might help him to remember."

"He's gonna get his memory back, right?" Brian checked worriedly. "Definitely?"

Kayla nodded slightly. "That's usually the case," she said. "But remember, as frustrating as it for you, it's even more frustrating for him. So just go slow and let time do its thing."

Kevin nodded, but his mind was racing. Let time do its thing. That wasn't exactly an easy thing to do with their schedule.

"How long does he have to stay in the hospital?"

"He's free to go," she answered. "He has a slight fever that needs to be watched, but other than that and the headache he'll be feeling, he should be fine."

Brian stared at her. Fine? Yeah, the kid couldn't remember his own first name but he should be fine?

AJ looked up as the door opened and the nurse reentered with the unfamiliar guys. He sat up straight.

They were back.

So they didn't have the wrong room ... They did know him?

His heartbeat sped up a little.

"AJ," Kayla started gently. "The guys can take you home now, so whenever you're ready you can-"

"Home?" he repeated incredulously, tearing his eyes from them and staring at the plump nurse with disdain. "With them? You're making me go home with them? But I don't know them, how can you make me-"

"AJ," she interrupted. "Listen."

AJ shut his eyes.

"AJ, listen to me. You have amnesia, do you know what that is?"

"I'm not stupid," was the answer. He opened his eyes and stared straight at her. Was this lady for real? He glanced at the four guys still in the doorway and noticed their expressions were almost as anxious as he was himself. But not half as confused.

"Sometimes a blow to the head like yours leads to a temporary loss of memory, like you're experiencing-"

"My memory's fine," he interrupted softly. "I just have a killer headache, that's all." He tried to give her a composed smile but his head was spinning, both from pain and from confusion. Why couldn't she just be quiet.

"Alright," Kayla allowed. "Then let's get you up and out of here, right?"

Right. AJ just nodded, but he was frowning too. What was happening? He suddenly felt scared. Maybe she was right, maybe he did have amnesia. But what if his memory never came back?

"AJ," Kevin started gently. The kid sent him an anxious look. "Why don't we get you out of this place and we can talk when we get back to the hotel. Alright, buddy?"

"Okay ..." AJ slid his feet to the floor and started to stand. He'd play along for now. He didn't have much of a choice, so he figured he might as well just go with the flow.

"Do you feel dizzy? Nauseous?" Kayla was immediately asking questions.

"No," he lied, taking a steady breath. "I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

Howie watched him carefully, trying not to be hurt by the fact that the kid had no clue who they were or what was going on. Of course he was going to be scared and defensive, anybody would in the same position. He only hoped that it wouldn't last.

Kayla was explaining some bottle of pills she was giving him for the headache. AJ was nodding at everything and Howie doubted that he actually heard half of it. He watched the younger stuff the bottle in the pocket of his loose jeans.

"Alright, so that's the story on those," Kayla was saying. She turned her next set of guidelines to the rest of the guys. "If his headache gets worse, or if the fever goes up-"

"I can take care of myself," came the interruption.

"-then come back in and we'll check up on it. Sometimes things can come up that went unnoticed before."

Kevin nodded. Great. Hopefully not.

-

"And this is the hotel we're staying at ..."

The four waited for a reaction, but didn't get the one they were hoping for. AJ was looking all around at everything like he'd never even been in a hotel before, let alone this specific one.

"Look familiar at all?" Brian tried.

AJ shook his head slowly, and his expression of awe silently faded into one of disappointment.

Brian sighed. "Don't worry, it'll come ..." He moved ahead and pressed the tiny silver button for the elevator, watching it light up. He glanced at Nick, who stared back at him silently.

Once in the elevator, AJ took the far corner and leaned against the handrail. "How come we're staying in a hotel? Are we on vacation?" He wanted to try and get some sort of picture of what it was he was supposed to be doing.

Howie shook his head. "I wish," he said with a laugh. "We're working."

"Working?" AJ repeated. "I work?"

"Yeah, you work."

"Oh." AJ rubbed the back of his head, pausing when he felt the painful lump there. He was so confused.

He was about to ask another question as the elevator let out a ding and the silver doors slid open smoothly. He looked up at the lit number. Seven.

He hesitated before moving but someone gave him a gentle push from behind and he took a step forward so they wouldn't do it again.

The hallway was wide and long with a dark burgundy and white carpet stretching to the end. Large potted plants were decorating the sitting area by the elevators, and they even had a chandelier in the hall.

AJ glanced back as he heard the elevator doors sliding shut and got an urge to slip back in between the opening and go his own way. Problem was, he didn't even know which way that was yet. The doors were shut before he had even made up his mind.

"AJ, you coming?"

He turned at the unfamiliar name and nodded slightly, forcing himself to move.

Inside the hotel room, AJ felt even more uncomfortable. Here he was, in a strange hotel room, with four guys he didn't know and a splitting headache. He didn't know what to do.

He didn't want to deal with this.

"Can I go to bed?"

Kevin glanced at the clock. It was about seven-thirty. "Sure, but let's talk first, okay?"

"About what?" AJ played with the end of his shirt and studied the room around him, looking anywhere but at the guys.

"Stuff," Kevin answered, watching him carefully. "C'mon."

AJ finally looked at him and sighed resignedly, following them slowly. He waited until they sat down first and was grateful to be left with a cushioned armchair to himself. Sinking into it, he looked up and tried to put an expectant look on his face.

Howie leaned forward slightly, watching the kid play with the arm of the chair. "We thought we should just fill you in on a few things so ... Well, so that you have an idea of what's going on."

AJ nodded, looking at him. That would be nice. To know what was going on.

"Alright, you know how I told you we worked? Well the five of us are in a group."

"A group," AJ repeated softly. "What kind of group?"

"A musical group. The Backstreet Boys." Howie watched his face but the expression there never changed. "You remember that?"

They didn't get an answer. AJ stared at the wall, frustrated. Why couldn't he remember anything? Just one little thing. Even their names.

"Okay, no big deal," Kevin interrupted slowly, but AJ leaned forward.

"You're wrong, it is a big deal. If I can't friggin' remember any of this, then how the hell am I supposed to- ..." He trailed off and stared at the wall again, blinking fast.

"AJ," Brian started.

"Leave me alone!" came the objection. AJ jumped up from the chair quickly and stormed out of the room, ignoring the sudden jolt of pain to his head that came as a result. He wanted to go to his room and lock himself in there until everything was back to normal. Whatever normal was supposed to be.

But he didn't even know which room was his. He sank into one of the wooden chairs in the kitchen and buried his head in his arms tiredly, feeling the tears sting his eyes. Oh God, oh God.

Maybe if he fell asleep, then when he woke up he would remember everything clearly. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to breathe steadily.

He felt a hand drop on his head.

"AJ?" Kevin waited for an answer, but he didn't get one. "Jay."

"I'm sleeping," came the muffled reply. "Leave me alone ..."

Kevin let out a breath. Forget the plan for any talk that night. "Why don't you go to bed then."

"Because I don't wanna," AJ mumbled, not lifting his head. Because he didn't know where to go.

That exact thought hit Kevin suddenly. "C'mon, pal, I'll show you where your bed is."

AJ sighed and reluctantly lifted his head up, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "Okay."

Kevin's mind was racing as he led the kid to the room he had been sharing with Howie. This wasn't good. He knew it was hopeful thinking, but he had almost convinced himself that when they got AJ back to the hotel and to familiar surroundings, then everything would start coming back. Obviously that wasn't the case.

"You share with Howie," he said, leaning against the doorframe of the room. "Guess which side's yours."

One side of the room was fairly neat and orderly, the other had clothes and belongings strewn almost everywhere. AJ pointed to the latter without a pause, glancing at Kevin.

"You got it," Kevin said with a small smile. AJ just threw himself down flat on his bed, face hidden into the pillow. Kevin watched him from the doorway for a moment. He wanted to say something, but he just shook his head. "Night, AJ."

He didn't get a reply.

"Is he okay?" Howie asked when Kevin came back into the main room.

Kevin just shrugged. "I don't know, he's sleeping."

"He doesn't even know our names," Brian said, frustrated. He kicked at the plush football that was at the foot of the couch with disgust. Damn game.

"He'll get there," Kevin said slowly, sitting back down on the couch. "It'll just take time."

They were all thinking the same thing. They didn't have that time.

Brian sighed and kept staring at the football. "I feel bad."

"Me too." Nick looked up.

"Don't feel bad," Howie answered, shaking his head. "It was an accident. Accidents happen."

"Yeah, but ..."

"No buts," Kevin interrupted, cutting off Brian. He looked at both of them. "Howie's right. It's not your fault. You two feeling bad isn't gonna help him get better, right?"

They just stared at him, unconvinced.

"C'mon boys, I'm serious. It's not your fault. Stop feeling guilty." Kevin regretted having chewed them out earlier at all. They both had the tendency to lay the blame on themselves thick. "Alright?"

"Alright," Brian repeated. Kevin could tell he wasn't entirely assured, but he let it go.

"Nick?"

"Yeah, whatever," Nick mumbled, pulling himself off the couch and leaving the room. Kevin looked in the direction he disappeared to with a frown.

"What's with him?"

Brian and Howie both shrugged.

"Should I go talk to him?"

"I'll go," Brian answered, getting up and starting to move past them. Kevin caught the back of his shirt.

"Listen. I'm serious about what I said, alright?"

Brian nodded, looking away. Kevin gave the shirt a tug.

"Alright, Bri?"

"I know."

Kevin stared at him a second. "Okay," he said finally, releasing his hold. "Make sure Nick knows."

"I will," Brian answered, pulling away.

-

"Hey."

Nick looked up from plugging in the game system as Brian stuck his head in the door. "Hey."

"Can I come in?"

"It's your room too," Nick answered, flipping on the game and grabbing a controller.

Brian rolled his eyes and stepped through the door as Nick plopped stomach down on the nearest bed.

"Wanna play?" Nick offered as he felt the bed sink beside him.

"Yeah sure." Brian grabbed the other controller and pulled his legs up on the bed to get in a more comfortable position. "What're we playing?"

"NBA."

"Okay, I'm Jordan then," Brian said, quickly pressing the buttons to bring up the main menu where teams and players were chosen. He started flipping for the Bulls and waited for a reaction.

"You suck, Brian," Nick said, letting his controller fall to the floor.

And there it was.

"I'm kidding with you, bro. Don't be a baby."

"I'm not a baby, you are."

"No," Brian said, but he chose another team anyway. He wasn't about to start a fight, and he knew quite well they could be easily heading in that direction. He aimed a swat at Nick as the kid reached for his controller again. "Brat."

Nick didn't answer. He silently chose his team and gave Brian the brattiest smile he could conjure up. Brian just chuckled.

"Listen, Nick-"

"Not now..." came the absent answer. The ref in the game was throwing up the ball for the tipoff. Brian waited until it was past to try again.

"Nick-"

"Wait ..."

Brian saw how it was going to be so he reached for Nick's controller and pressed pause when he had confiscated it. "Listen, Nicky."

"What?" Nick rolled on his side to look at him.

"About what Kevin said."

"What about it?"

"He's right, you know. It's not our fault." Brian didn't even believe it himself and here he was telling it to Nick.

"I know," came the annoyed answer. "Is that what you wanted to talk about?"

There was more, but Brian just looked at him.

Nick sighed. "I know, Frick, okay?"

"Okay." Brian couldn't tell if the kid was just saying it, or if he actually did know it.

Forget it. A lot of good that talk did.

Brian pressed to unpause the game on Nick's controller and then tossed it to the floor as he made his own player steal the ball and get a shot off.

"Three!" the announcer on the game observed.

Nick had just retrieved the fallen controller, but he heard the announcer's call and shoved Brian off the bed as the game audience was still cheering.

-

Kevin watched Howie as the younger man grabbed the controller for the TV and flipped it on. He started to change channels. "What do you think."

Howie stopped flipping. "I don't know. I mean ... Kev, we have an interview tomorrow, what're we gonna do for that?"

Damn. Kevin stared at the television screen a second and frowned. He hadn't even thought about that. "I guess we'll have to say he's sick."

"Yeah, for the first time," Howie agreed. "But how long can he be sick for? We don't know how long it's gonna take for him to start remembering stuff."

"So in the meantime, you're wondering what do we tell management," Kevin finished.

"Exactly."

Kevin thought for a second. "Nothing."

"Nothing? You think we're gonna be able to get around the fact that one of the members of our group doesn't even think he's a member?"

"We're gonna have to."

"But this isn't the only interview we're gonna have. Or the only appearance." Howie started flipping again.

"Well, we're gonna have to explain a lot to him. We just gotta get him to trust him us on some stuff."

"That's not gonna be as easy as you make it out to be."

"Howie. Bro, I'm not making it out to be easy. Alright?" Kevin looked at him. "It's gonna take time. Hopefully his memory will come back before we even have to worry about half of this, right?"

"Right."

"Until then, we've got a lot to teach the kid, huh?"

"Yeah. Think he can sing?"

Kevin gave a half hearted smile. "Let's hope so."

"Maybe when he hears the music and stuff he'll start remembering. That nurse said music and pictures and stuff can help people remember."

"Maybe." Kevin nodded. "Maybe he'll wake up and everything will be back to normal."

"Yeah." Howie thought for a second. "Or maybe-"

"Howie? Let's stop with the maybes." Kevin glanced at him and pressed a small smile. "There's gonna be a whole lot of maybes."

"I know."

-

Eleven o'clock had rolled around and midnight was almost right on its tail before any of them thought of sleep. Nothing had been heard out of AJ since he'd went in almost five hours ago, and so when Howie opened the door to the room he shared with him, he tried to be as quiet as possible.

He found the younger man in the same position Kevin had left him in- facedown on the bed, fully clothed, even sneakers. Howie just let him be and kept the light off, using the light from the bathroom so he could change and get to bed himself.

His efforts at being quiet and not waking AJ weren't exactly worthwhile. Especially since AJ hadn't ever even been asleep to begin with.

He had tried to sleep, but most of the four and a half hours had been spent trying to remember, which only made him more and more frustrated. He tried to not care, but he couldn't stop trying.

So when midnight rolled around, AJ was just about as wide awake as anything.

He waited until he heard Howie's breathing slow into the evenness of slumber before he rolled over and sat up slowly. Forget sleep.

His head hurt, so he dug into his pocket for the pill bottles the lady had given him and pulled them out. He tossed one on top of what was supposed to be his open bag in the corner, and turned the other toward the light to try and read the directions.

One pill as needed. Do not exceed two pills in a six hour period.

Okay, easy enough.

AJ glanced at Howie's still sleeping form and crept toward the door quietly. He shut it behind him and headed for the kitchen to get a drink to wash down the pills.

He found some Coke in the fridge and opened a can as he grabbed a seat at the table. He struggled with the top of the pill container for a second and then shook out two. He screwed the cap back on before he swallowed the pills down with the soda.

Then he sat there and tried not to think.

It was impossible.

He was about to get up when someone else stepped through the door.

They both froze.

Nick stared at him.

"Hey," he said finally, staying in the doorway.

"Hey," AJ repeated.

"I couldn't sleep ..."

"Yeah, me neither." AJ played with the soda can uncomfortably. Nick frowned.

"You really don't remember anything, do you?"

AJ looked up and shook his head. "No, why?"

"Nothing, I was just kinda hoping you were kidding around." Nick shrugged, feeling kind of stupid.

"Yeah, I wish I was too," AJ muttered, looking back at the can. "You gonna stand in the door all night or is that a hint that you want me to go somewhere else?"

"No, sorry." Nick moved more into the kitchen, grabbing another Coke out of the refrigerator and sitting in the chair across from him.

AJ watched the blonde kid carefully. He seemed harmless enough.

"Are these helping?" Nick asked, grabbing the bottle of pills from the table and looking at the label.

"I don't know yet."

"You're supposed to take them with water." Nick looked at his soda can with a frown.

"Coke has water in it," AJ said with a shrug.

"I guess."

"It does."

"I didn't say it didn't." Nick took a sip of his own and then rested his elbows on the table, leaning forward slightly. AJ tried to ignore the kid's gaze, but after awhile it bothered him.

"What?" he asked finally.

"You don't remember anything at all? Not even me?"

"No, I don't."

"I'm Nick."

AJ nodded. "Nice to meet you, Nick."

"Yeah." Nick sighed and leaned back in his chair, brow furrowed. Just like that. Just like they had never met each other.

AJ caught the disappointed look, but he just stared back down at his soda can silently, his own heart sinking. There wasn't exactly much he could say either. So he said nothing.

After awhile though the silence grew uncomfortable. He wasn't about to go back to bed, but he didn't exactly want to spend the night sitting there staring at the table.

"Uh ..." He cleared his throat unsurely and stared at his pill bottle for a second. When he looked up, Nick was staring down at the table too. "I think I'm gonna watch TV or something ..."

Nick looked up. "You wanna play some video games?"

AJ frowned. "Not really man, I kinda have a headache ..."

"You used to love video games," Nick told him sadly.

"I did?"

"Yeah. You used to play with me all the time."

"I did?"

"Yeah, you used to do everything with me."

AJ noticed the sudden mischievous gleam in the kid's eye and shook his head. "You liar. Go to bed."

"I can't sleep."

AJ let out a breath and pushed his chair back, making a scraping noise against the tile floor. He waited for the spinning sensation in his head to dissipate and then grabbed his soda and started out of the kitchen. He didn't feel like company.

Nick sat at the kitchen table a second thinking. AJ really didn't know who he was. AJ really didn't even know who AJ was. He felt his eyes fill slightly and wiped them hastily. Maybe this was a punishment from God for playing football inside. Well he was sorry. Time to bring the real AJ back.

Getting up from his chair and grabbing his own soda, he sighed and rubbed his eyes again, sniffling. He didn't want AJ to know he was crying.

AJ didn't even look up when he came into the room and sat down on the opposite end of the couch. Nick pulled his feet up and glanced at the TV. I Love Lucy. He hugged his knees and glanced at AJ.

"What?" AJ didn't even look at him.

"Nothing." Nick looked away and back at the television.

"No, really. You wanna ask me something?"

Nick shook his head, still looking at the TV. Lucy was trying to get a 'little voice' to talk to her for Ricky. "No."

AJ shook his head too. He was so frustrated. He shut his eyes tightly.

"Because I can answer them all for you now. No, I don't remember you. No, I don't remember any of you, your damn group, this damn hotel, me, anything," he said loudly. "Got it? Any more questions?"

Nick stared at him in shock for a second, the words like a blow. The tears came next but he was already off the couch and halfway to his and Brian's room. He shut the door heavily and leaned against it a second, a sob caught in his throat. Not only did AJ not remember him, but he hated him too.

"Nick?" Brian's tired voice reached him in the dark.

He shut his eyes and tried to stop his crying. He couldn't. "What?" he answered finally, voice muffled.

"You okay?"

"Yes."

"Are you crying?"

Another pause. "No ..."

"Why're you crying?"

"I'm not crying, Brian." Nick moved away from the door and tried to make his way to his own bed in the dark, pulling his long sleeve t-shirt up to wipe his face.

"Liar."

"Leave me alone," Nick cried in response. He dropped himself on his bed tiredly and buried his face into his pillow, still trying to stop his tears.

"Nicky, c'mon." Brian sat up and reached for the light on the desk in-between the two beds, flipping it on. He blinked in the sudden brightness and looked at Nick's form on the other bed. "Why're you crying, bro?"

"I'm not crying," came the quiet answer into the pillow. "I'm having an asthma attack."

"You don't have asthma."

"I caught it yesterday."

Brian rolled his eyes. "What's the matter?" he tried again.

"Nothing's the matter, I told you already. I wish you would leave me the hell alone."

"Nicky, c'mon."

Silence.

"Don't make me come over there."

Still silence. Nick had decided to ignore him. Brian listened to the kid's breathing.

"Carter-"

"Okay, you wanna know what it is?" Nick rolled over and looked at him evenly. He looked sad. "AJ hates me, that's what it is."

"He doesn't hate you-"

"Oh that's right. How can you hate somebody you don't know."

"Nick, he doesn't hate you. What gives you that idea?"

"Because." Nick turned so he wasn't facing him anymore. He stared at the window and sniffled. They had forgotten to draw the curtains shut and he could see the lights of other building stretching out. His eyes were blurry from crying so he rubbed them absently.

"When did you talk to him? Now?"

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep and I went to get a drink and he was up."

"And he flat out told you that he hated you?"

"Well no," Nick allowed. "But pretty much."

"Nicky ..." Brian sighed. Nick had the tendency to take things to the extreme sometimes. "I'll go talk to him."

"Good luck."

Brian got up from his bed tiredly. "You go to bed," he said. Nick rolled his eyes at him as he started for the door.

He found AJ in the same spot that Nick had left him- on the couch watching I Love Lucy. Except this time he was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Brian couldn't tell whether it was out of pain or if he was crying too.

"Hey," he started softly, dropping a hand on the younger's back.

He was caught off guard as AJ jumped to his feet and stormed toward his room.

"Leave me alone! Why doesn't everybody just leave me alone?!"

The door to to the room AJ shared with Howie slammed shut and Brian winced. If that wasn't enough to wake the whole hotel. He waited a second, but nothing happened.

Great, just great.

Nick was watching TV when he came back into their room and shut the door behind him. Brian looked at him tiredly and started to his bed.

"And?" Nick pressed.

"And what. Turn off the TV."

"What did he say? And no."

"Nothing. And yes."

"No. Did you talk to him?"

"Not exactly. Turn off the TV."

"Why not?" Nick tightened his hold on the remote control as Brian reached for it. "Why didn't you talk to him?"

"Because he's in his room," Brian answered, trying to pull the remote out of his grasp. "Stop Nick, I'm not in the mood."

"So you hate me too?"

"Nick."

"Fine." Nick let go and watched Brian flip off the TV and toss the remote on one of the dressers.

"Look pal, AJ doesn't hate you, okay? This whole thing is gonna take time. A little or a lot I don't know, but we're just gonna have work with it. Alright?"

Nick just nodded and buried himself under his covers.

Brian sighed. What a night.

-

"Mornin', Howie."

"Hey, Kev."

"Coffee?" Kevin offered as the younger man sat across from him at the table. Howie shook his head no and reached for the juice container. "Is AJ still sleeping?"

"Last time I looked yeah. Either that or he's still pretending so he doesn't have to deal with us."

Kevin nodded and rubbed his chin tiredly. The kid couldn't pretend forever. Sooner or later they were going to have to just talk.

"Hi, guys," a tired Brian greeted as he dragged himself into the kitchen. He sank into chair and propped his elbows on the table heavily, staring at them. "Why do we always have morning interviews? Why can't they be late afternoon, or evening interviews?"

"Not sleep well?"

"Hmph," the the reply. Kevin poured juice in a glass and pushed it in front of him.

"Wake up, pal. Is Nick mobilizing?"

"When he's not laying in bed, yeah."

"We gotta leave soon. Is getting up at eight that hard to do?"

Brian's look said it all.

"Maybe you should go to bed earlier," Howie told him.

Brian shook his head and took a sip of juice. "Is AJ up? Is he coming?"

"No, and probably not." Kevin glanced at the clock on the wall. They should leave. "You guys get ready to go, I'm gonna tell him what's going on. You wanna get Nicky?"

"Yeah sure."

When he came into the room, AJ was in bed with the covers pulled up to his neck, face down in the pillow. Kevin wondered how he could breath. He moved toward the bed and touched the kid's shoulder.

"AJ."

"What," came the muffled voice. He sounded annoyed.

"Listen," Kevin started. "We're going out for an interview now, it shouldn't take too long. We're just gonna say you're sick, alright?" He didn't get an answer, and he didn't wait for one. "Don't leave the hotel room while we're gone."

He waited a second for any sort of reply, but the younger man was doing a great job at being mute. Kevin hit his leg lightly through the covers.

"You know what Aje, you're gonna start talking soon. This isn't helping anybody right now."

AJ just pulled his pillow over his head, ignoring him.

Kevin left at that, he knew he wasn't going to get an answer anyway, and it wasn't very productive talking to a wall. Stay calm, he told himself. It was just as hard for AJ, even harder.

"What'd he say?" Howie asked as he came out into the main room.

"Nothing," Kevin answered, grabbing his coat off the back of a chair. "When we get back today we really have to talk."

"Yeah ..." They needed to do a lot of things lately.

"Hey, Nicky, you awake yet?" Kevin looked at the youngest, smiling slightly. He looked asleep.

"What?"

"You okay, little man?"

"Yeah, fine. Just tired." Nick shrugged and unlocked the door, pulling it open. Kevin grabbed a key off the counter followed behind them, shaking his head. They needed a vacation.

-

The second AJ heard the main door shut, he sat up and swung his feet to the floor. He was alone. He had the place to himself. No more questions, nothing. For a little while at least.

He ran a hand through his messy hair and paused when he felt the bump on the back of his head. He was getting tired of everything already. Not only was he getting annoyed, but he was feeling guilty too. Guilty for not remembering them, guilty for acting like an ass to them.

He sighed and looked at his bag on the floor. Everything was so unfamiliar. He felt like he had been torn out of one world and dropped right into another one. And he was expected to fit in and just carry along.

He couldn't. He had tried, hadn't he? He chewed his lip and pulled himself to his feet. They didn't need him here. They obviously weren't going to want him. Sure, they might pretend to now, but it was only a matter of time before reality set in. And that reality was that he didn't know them, wasn't one of them, and wouldn't be either. It was impossible.

So he got up, showered, changed, and took off. He didn't know where he was going, but he just didn't fit in here anymore. If he had before, well then he just didn't remember. He was lost.

Literally. When he got down to the hotel lobby he realized he was going to have to figure out some things for himself. He didn't know what city he was in. He didn't even know his last name. And he didn't know where to start.

He dropped into one of the plush armchairs in the lobby and just watched the people for a minute, trying to think of something. He needed a place to go, but he didn't even know where home was. Suddenly he felt completely helpless, and this weird feeling of loss washed over him like a tidal wave.

He slumped back into his seat and shut his eyes against the tears that suddenly pricked them. He wasn't going to cry. He was tough, he could handle it. He would just have to remember something, and he would go from there. Simple.

Someone screamed.

A high-pitched, ear-piercing scream.

He jumped and looked around, expecting to see a robber or killer or something.

He didn't expect to see the throng of girls racing toward him at full speed. His eyes widened in surprise and glanced behind the chair.

No one was there. They were coming at him.

He almost screamed himself.

"AJ!"

"Oh. My. God."

"C-c-can I have your au-autograph?"

"It's AJ McLean!"

McLean?

"AJ!"

Another scream.

"Um," he started, but one of the girls had him by the arm and her nails were digging in before he could move. She was shaking and cutting off his circulation at the same time. Something flashed in his face and he blinked.

What the heck was this? Did he do something wrong and they were all after him?

"Can you sign this?" A CD was shoved in his face and he caught the name 'Backstreet Boys' on the cover art. He swallowed. Wake up, man. Back to reality now. Come on. "AJ?"

"AJ!"

"AJ?"

"It's AJ!"

He shut his eyes for a second and when he opened them someone was removing the girls' grip on him and physically pulling him up out of there. Some big guy. He let whoever it was drag him across the lobby.

"You alright, kid?" the man asked. He had a deep voice. AJ nodded slightly and let himself be pulled into a conference room and pushed into a seat. His heart was pounding. "They got you pretty bad there, huh?" The older man's voice sounded almost amused.

AJ looked down at his arm and saw the scratches there. He frowned. "Yeah ..."

"Listen kid, I thought we had an agreement this time."

"An agreement?" AJ repeated.

"You guys don't use the front lobby and we'll try and keep the riots at bay?"

Riots ...?

"You alright, kiddo? You're looking kinda faint."

"I'm okay." AJ rubbed his temples. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright. Let's just try and make sure it doesn't happen again. Shouldn't you be with security?"

Security?

"Where's the rest of your group?"

"They're at an interview," AJ said slowly.

"And they forgot to call the babysitter, huh," the man muttered, picking up the telephone and starting to dial. "Listen, I'll get someone to take you back up to your room."

What if he didn't want to go back to his room?

"I can get there," AJ started.

"Not with your ass in one piece."

"I can. Really. You don't need to-"

"I'm going to. My hotel. Okay? You wanna still stay here?"

AJ sat back with a huff. This was going great. Maybe he would be back just in time to have 'his group' chew him out too. He chewed a fingernail absently and stared at his arm. It stung. He didn't get this whole thing.

He jiggled his leg nervously as the man talked to someone on the phone. His head was starting to hurt again. He wanted out of there.

"Someone'll be here in a minute to take you up. You wanna tell me what you thought you were doing?"

"Taking a walk."

"Why aren't you at your interview?"

"I'm ... sick."

"Sick, huh? If you're sick shouldn't you be in bed, kid?"

AJ frowned at him. "No."

"Yeah, huh."

"Yeah."

The older man just shook his head good-naturedly and sank into one of the office chairs.

-

Kevin was sliding the key into the hotel room door when he heard a voice call out from a little bit down the hall.

"Hey hey hey, look who it is ... Just in time."

The four of them turned in surprise and caught sight of one of the hotel's security walking towards them with an annoyed looking AJ just a few steps behind. AJ crossed his arms acoss his chest as the came to a stop in front of the door.

"We found this," the man said, resting his hands on AJ's shoulders and pushing him forward.

"Get your hands off me, I told you not to touch me," AJ responded, pulling away from the man and standing to the side with a irritated frown.

Kevin forced a smile at the man. "Uh, thanks ..." he said slowly, sending AJ a look. The kid just glared back, narrowing his eyes.

"So you didn't have to remember your room number after all, did you?" the security guard said to AJ with a sweet smile. It was obvious the trip up to the floor hadn't been exactly pleasant.

AJ just glowered at him and grabbed the key out of Kevin's hand. "Glad to break up your boring day," he muttered, unlocking the door and shutting it behind him with a bang.

Howie stared at the door. Alright then.

The security man cleared his throat. "By the way, I was asked to pass this message along. As much as we enjoy having you stay at our hotel, we asked you to not use the front lobby and we would appreciate it if you kept up to that. If not ..."

"Sorry," Howie said quickly. "We understand. It won't happen again."

"Great. We'd hate to have to ask you to leave this fine establishment."

"We're sorry," Kevin repeated, and he was able to keep the apologetic smile on his face until the man turned and started back down the hall, keys jangling at his side. Kevin let out an exasperated breath. "Did I not tell AJ to stay in the room? Geez ..."

"Can we just go inside?" Nick tried.

"If any of you have a key. He took mine."

"I left mine inside. Do you two?" Howie looked at Brian and Nick.

"I gave mine to Nicky." Brian shrugged.

"You did not!"

"Did too. Right before we left. You lost it?" Brian stared at him with wide eyes.

"You never gave it to me, you liar!"

Kevin and Howie exchanged a tired look.

"I did too."

"You did not!"

Kevin caught the smile on his cousin's face, shaking his head and pushing him to the door. "Littrell, open the door already, will you?"

Brian just laughed as he dug the key out of his pocket, sliding it in the door as Nick punched him in the arm playfully. "Just can't take a joke, can you?"

Kevin caught Nick before Brian got hit again. "Stop. C'mon, we're gonna have a little talk in the main room," he said, starting inside and pulling Nick with him.

"We were just playing ..." Brian started.

"I don't think this talk is about you," Howie said, following them inside.

"Ah, it's the 'let's finally talk to AJ and get something figured out' plan, huh?"

"I think so."

"Brian, you wanna get AJ?" Kevin asked, grabbing a spot on the couch.

Brian looked up. What an honor. "I guess."

Howie sank down on Kevin's right side and leaned his head back against the couch. He still had a headache from the interview before, being drilled about the new album and any upcoming plans that even they weren't aware of. He really didn't feel like having an argument. And he had a feeling this conversation was going to lead to an argument.

He could tell Nick had similar feelings.

"Nicky, take a seat." Kevin patted the spot on his other side.

"Do you really need me here for this?"

Kevin gave him a tired look. "Yes Nick."

"Can't you just talk without me?" he asked hopefully, playing with the arm of the couch absently and hanging back.

"Sit down."

Nick looked ready to argue, but he finally just let out a sigh and plopped down on the other smaller couch instead. Kevin shook his head tiredly. When was their next break.

Brian found AJ in the kitchen, sitting at the table and staring at the wall. "Aje."

"Huh?"

"Time to talk. C'mon."

"Talk about what?"

"You know what."

"Look I'm sorry I left and was attacked by your psycho fans or whatever you like to call them, okay? There. We talked."

"I don't think so." Brian physically pulled him up from the chair and started to the door. "I can carry you in there, so you might as well just come on."

AJ pulled away from him when they got through the door. Might as well get this over with.

"Alright," Kevin started when everyone was settled in. As settled in as they were going to get at the moment. He stared at the way that Nick and AJ had conveniently moved to the most opposite poles of that one couch as they possibly could. One more inch and one of them would be on the floor. "We're going to try something new this time- staying until the end of the conversation."

AJ stared at him evenly, but he shifted in his seat.

"First things first. Did I not specifically ask you to stay in the room?"

He was met with silence.

"When I tell you to do something, I expect you to listen." Kevin's voice was rising, and he couldn't help it.

AJ's eyes narrowed. "Who made you in charge? I don't have to listen to you- I don't even know you. You can't make me do anything."

"No? Try me." Kevin's voice was flat.

AJ's eyes narrowed even more. He wasn't sure what 'making' him do something would entail, but he wasn't too sure that he wanted to find out either.

"What Kev means to say ..." Howie jumped in quickly, elbowing Kevin in the side. "He told you that for your own safety, AJ. You can't just go out whenever you want alone."

"Why?" AJ moved his eyes to Howie, and the glare lessened slightly.

"Because ... it's not safe."

"Why."

"Fans. People."

AJ rolled his eyes. These guys were ridiculous. But he glanced down at his arm and looked at the long red scratches there. Maybe it wasn't so ridiculous after all.

He tried to keep his face stony. This whole thing just didn't make sense. If only any of this, any of them, would feel the slightest bit familiar to him.

"You alright there?" Brian noticed.

"Fine," AJ huffed, turning his arm over.

"So then do we have an agreement?" Kevin tried.

"An agreement?"

"Not to go off on your own whenever you feel like it?"

"I never made any agreement."

Kevin tried slow and easy breathing. Don't get angry. The kid doesn't know anything yet. He was just being difficult. No big deal. They could deal with this part later.

"Alright," Kevin said slowly. "Look, I know this is all new for you, but if you let us try and explain everything to you then we can at least get somewhere."

"Psh, yeah somewhere," AJ cut in. "I'm gonna be the one going somewhere, that's all I know." He leaned back in his seat and rubbed the side of his head. "Look, I know I'm supposed to know you guys and all, but I really really don't. I'm sorry."

"Can't you just trust us on this?" Brian asked. "We're trying to help you."

"I don't need any help." His voice was annoyed then.

"Okay okay," Brian conceded. "Then what do we need to prove it to you? You wanna see pictures, what?"

"I didn't say I didn't believe you!"

"Then what's the problem?" Howie frowned. "You just don't want us to help you try and remember?"

"Maybe I don't want to remember. Maybe I don't even like you guys. Or this group." AJ got up from his seat and kicked the coffee table in front of him, starting away.

"I thought we were gonna finish the conversation this time," Kevin threw.

"It is finished!" AJ yelled back, disappearing into the kitchen.

There was silence. Nick stared at the carpet. Brian stared at the discarded plush football still on the floor. Kevin and Howie exchanged a glance.

"Maybe the whole four on one thing isn't working," Howie offered.

"Maybe." Kevin sighed and rubbed his temples. What a mess. They had a meet and greet the next day. They had to work something out.

"Maybe just one of us should talk to him," Brian said.

The dead silence was the only thing that made Nick look up, and when he did he noticed that they were all looking straight at him. He frowned. Did he do something? "What?"

"You've been nominated," Kevin said.

"Nominated? For what?"

"To talk to AJ."

"What?" Nick narrowed his eyes. "Me? Why me?"

"Your irresistible charm," Brian said with a sweet smile.

Nick glared at him. "Why don't you do it."

"Because we nominated you," Kevin interrupted. "We voted. Watch. All for Nicky, raise your hand."

Brian, Howie, and Kevin all lifted a hand. Nick wrinkled his nose his nose at their smiling faces.

"You guys suck. I'm not going to."

"C'mon, Carter, it's not that hard," Kevin pushed.

"Then you do it!"

"C'mon pal, we pick you."

"I don't want to! I nominate Brian."

"Nominations are over. Voting's over. Results are in and you won."

Nick swore Kevin looked amused. He shook his head. "No. Better revote, Kev."

"C'mon, Frack," Brian started.

"I don't want to, okay?" Nick got up from the couch and started past them.

"Nick, c'mon." Kevin caught him with one arm. "Please, Nick?"

"I really don't want to. I already talked to him before, okay?" He pushed Kevin's arm off of him. "I'm sure you guys can figure out something yourselves," he said as he stomped off to his room.

-

A bit later in the day, Brian came into their room and found Nick sprawled on his bed with a Playstation controller in his hand. "Hey," he greeted.

"Hi." Nick didn't look up from his game.

"Can I play?"

"Yeah ..." Nick pressed a few buttons to restart the game as Brian grabbed the other controller off the dresser and jumped next to him on the bed.

There were a few minutes of silence.

"You know, I've been thinking," Nick said suddenly, his eyes not straying from the TV.

"Uh oh ..."

"I'm serious, Brian."

"Sorry." Brian pressed pause on his controller. "What have you been thinking about?"

"About AJ. It was him hitting his head that made him forget everything, right?"

"Right ..."

"Then if he hit his head again it might bring his memory back, right?"

Brian looked at him with a frown. "I'm not so sure about that, big guy."

"Why not?"

"I don't think that things just work like that."

"Why not?"

"Nicky ..."

"That's how it works in the movies. Anybody with amnesia that gets hit in the head again gets their memory back."

"Mo-vies," Brian stressed, hitting him in the leg. "C'mon. You wanna hit AJ over the head?"

"If it works, yeah."

Brian stared at him.

"What?"

"You're crazy."

"C'mon, Brian, I bet it'll work."

"What're you gonna use? A frying pan, a baseball bat?"

"Brian, be serious."

"You be serious."

"I am serious. Like you've thought of anything else."

"No, but hitting somebody over the head never really seems like a good idea in any situation."

"Well, think about it anyway."

"Yeah, sure."

Nick unpaused the game and shook his head.

-

"... you're sick or something. Are you listening?"

AJ jerked his head up. "Huh?"

"C'mon AJ, this is important, man."

"I'm listening. I'm sick, I don't answer any questions. If they ask me a question directly ..."

"Make Nick answer it," Kevin filled in with a smile.

Nick's reply was to hit him in the arm and shake his head. "Wrong ..."

"Just direct the question to one of us, that's all."

"I got it already, I won't screw you up." AJ stared down at his lap again and let out an annoyed breath. Why did he have to do this, he didn't want anything to do with any of this. Yesterday they seemed to be able to tell an interview he was sick, why was today different?

"Oh and you have to wear these."

AJ took the sunglasses that were offered to him and gave a frown. "Why?"

"It's your trademark, man," Brian said, trying not to be disappointed. He didn't remember anything else, why would he remember this. "You always wear sunglasses."

"It's not even sunny out."

"It doesn't matter."

AJ stared at them.

"You don't have to wear them, I'm just telling you."

AJ nodded slowly and stuffed the shades in his pocket. These people were crazy. Absolutely nuts.

"So I think that's it," Kevin was saying as he got up from the couch. "You gonna be alright?"

"My head hurts." And it did.

"Hang in there, bro."

-

" ... the sunglasses, AJ?"

AJ jerked his head up, mid-coughing fit. It obviously didn't matter that he might be choking to death. The questions still persisted.

There went that plan. He gave a painful sounding cough for emphasis and then cleared his throat.

"Excuse me?"

"Your sunglasses." The woman smiled at him and AJ stared back at her, trying to figure out what the heck she wanted. Dumb representative from Bop. "You're not wearing them."

"No, I'm not," AJ agreed sarcastically. He glanced at Howie, trying not to thank the interviewer for stating the obvious. But Howie frowned at him, and so AJ cleared his throat again. "I, uh, wanted to be different."

"Oh!" The blonde-haired woman nodded eagerly and scribbled something on her sloppy notepad. After watching her for a few minutes AJ wondered if she had maybe hit her head on something too. He glanced at Kevin this time, who just shrugged. The interviewer glanced up with a bright smile. "So ..."

AJ dropped his chin on his folded arms as the superficial questions continued around the group. Unfortunately enough, they landed back on him fairly soon.

"So AJ, what can you tell us about the new album coming up?"

He lifted his head. Not much.

"Actually," he started slowly. "Kevin really wanted to talk about that."

"Oh?" The dizzy blonde's attention shifted, and Kevin picked the question up easily. AJ allowed himself to zone out again.

And the cycle repeated.

In exactly the same order.

"So AJ-"

AJ didn't even let her finish this time. He erupted into a coughing fit so severe it would have knocked him out of his chair if Kevin hadn't caught the back of his shirt firmly.

"You need a drink?" he suggested, fighting an amused smile over the loud fake hacks that had the blonde interviewer looking pretty concerned.

AJ jumped from his seat at the proposal, already moving toward the door. Escape. He had already decided he wasn't coming back to this room. No way.

"Stay in the building," Kevin hissed under his breath. AJ nodded between gags and quickly fled to the door the second he was released.

"Is he going to be alright?" The woman with the clipboard looked intensely concerned.

"Sure," Howie said with a forced smile. "He just hasn't been feeling himself lately."

The statement was more true than she could know. The four of them heard the coughing fit end exactly when the door shut, but the woman seemed oblivious.

"Lots of things going around this time of year," she said sympathetically, scribbling things on the notepad.

They all nodded in polite agreement.

-

He was caught.

Stuck.

AJ forced himself to stop in the lobby of the building before he continued straight out the door. He wanted to keep going, to really escape, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized it wasn't going to happen.

He was really stuck. He had no place to go, not that he knew of. He didn't even know his home state, nevermind what state he was currently staying in. He knew nothing.

Basically he was screwed.

He sighed, rubbing his throat absently. He'd actually given himself a sore throat with the phony coughing show he had put on. Figured.

He leaned his head back and shut his eyes as the pain that almost seemed familiar now pulsated through his head at a steady beat. Maybe he was going crazy. The little man with the hammer inside his brain was making him go crazy.

He opened his eyes again and glanced around the little lobby again. It was fairly large, with a wide collection of weird plants in various pots scattered around the room in some unknown, haphazard order. The walls sported a grouping of abstract pastel prints, and the more he stared at them, the dizzier he got.

He shut his eyes again and was almost dozing off when he felt the couch cushions being jarred.

"Hey."

He opened his eyes and found Nick on the other side of the couch. The kid was still obviously keeping his distance.

"Hi. I was told to come check on you."

"Is the interview over?"

"No, but the lady left for a sec and I told them if they didn't let me leave I was gonna have a fake seizure."

"I recommend the coughing fit."

Nick smiled slightly. "Wouldn't be as buyable the second time."

"Guess not." AJ played with a thread on the arm of the couch and took a deep breath during the uncomfortable silence that sat between the two of them. He figured it was time to say something. "Listen ..." He hesitated. "I'm sorry about what I said to you that night. I was just kind of frustrated."

"It's okay." Nick shrugged uneasily. He looked around at the paintings to avert his eyes. AJ was apologizing? His eye caught on one of the prints and he frowned. "What the heck are these paintings?"

"I think they're pornographic," AJ said, and frowned slightly as Nick looked surprised and broke into a laugh. "What?"

"It just ..." The kid's giggles broke off. "It sounded like something that ... well, you would have said."

"I did say it."

"No, I mean like, before you hit your head."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Nick sighed softly and leaned back into the couch cushions. His stomach sank at the thought of something. He glanced over at AJ and played with the end of his shirt unsurely.

"What?" AJ looked at him, knowing the younger wanted to ask something.

"Are you gonna leave?"

"Leave?"

"The group."

AJ hesitated. "I don't know." And he really didn't.

"You can't," Nick said quickly, and his voice was upset. "You really do like it, I swear, you just don't remember, but you will remember, and if you leave it will be too late ... You can't ..."

"Don't cry."

"I'm not crying." And he turned his head away, fighting the tears that wanted to come. AJ frowned as the kid sudden seemed very vulnerable, and he didn't know what to say.

"Crying's not gonna help me decide."

"I'm not crying. Why would I cry over you, I don't even like you," Nick said quickly, wiping his eyes hastily with a baggy sleeve.

"Thanks."

-

"How's the cough?"

AJ looked up as a hand clapped down on his shoulder. "Eh," he answered, rubbing his throat absently with a smirk. Brian just shook his head.

"Interview over?" Nick asked as he got up from the other side of the couch. Kevin nodded and pointed a finger at him, frowning slightly.

"You, my man, were supposed to come back."

"I was?" Nick tried to look innocent.

"Mm-hm."

"Well, oops."

"I'll show you oops." Kevin took a gentle push at his head and Nick just knocked his hand away, shaking his head. But as they started toward the exit of the building Kevin wrapped an arm around his neck, forcing him to walk slower so that they were behind.

"What do you want."

"You guys talk?"

Figured. Nick made a face at him and twisted in the hold. When he saw he wasn't going anywhere until he answered he let out a huff. "No."

"No?"

"No," Nick repeated, sounding annoyed. "We didn't."

"You just sat there the whole time on the couch and didn't say anything." Kevin sounded unconvinced.

"You got it."

Kevin rolled his eyes upward. "C'mon Nicky, work with me here."

"I told you, Kev. Talk to him yourself."

"I'm talking to you right now and not getting anything from you."

Nick shrugged. "I guess you got a problem then."

"Nick." Kevin shook his head. "You could help out."

"He's not gonna talk to me, alright? Take it from me. Go ask Brian or something because I'm not. I don't even know what the heck you want me to talk to him about."

"Stuff."

"Oh now, that's descriptive."

"You know what I mean. Things to help him remember."

Nick looked up as their van came into view, staying silent. Kevin watched him carefully.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine."

"You sure? I didn't mean to get you upset."

"I'm fine," Nick repeated, pulling away and heading toward the van without another word.

Kevin just shook his head and followed at a slower pace. He already knew something had passed between Nick and AJ, but it was beginning to worry him exactly what that something was.

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