- Curiosity Killed the Cat -
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For all it's worth, it wasn't my idea.

I don't know what made us do it anyway. For fun I guess. Maybe we were a little upset. Mostly though, we were just curious as to what we were missing out on.

It was the third night that week that AJ and I were left abandoned in our hotel room. It wasn't fair really. Could I help being only fifteen and AJ only seventeen? No. Then why were we at a disadvantage? It wasn't fair. But did the guys listen when I tried to tell them that? No. Of course not. I was told to 'be good' and 'get to bed'. Uh huh, sure. They wouldn't even tell us where they were going, only that we were too young. I figured it was clubbing or partying or something like that. But AJ started giving it all different twists that only peaked our curiosity even more.

"I bet they're gambling."

"Gambling?" I looked up from the TV and stared at him. "Why the hell would they gamble?"

"Think about it, Nick. Why not?"

Of course I didn't want to look stupid and ask why not, so I just shut my mouth and added AJ's newest idea to our list of possibilities.

So far we had gambling, prostitutes, drugs, illegal smuggling of goods (we were in Europe after all), money laundering, kidnapping, murder, and the mafia on our list. Don't ask me what half of these had to do with the guys staying out late, but AJ seemed to think they all made interesting prospects. I just played along.

It was on that second night that AJ came up with his plan. His 'brilliant' plan that started it all.

"Nick?"

"What?" I didn't even look up from the screen this time. I was playing a game and I had never been to this level before. I could finally brag to Brian that-

"What the heck! Why'd you pull the plug?"

I was not going to get upset. It's only a game, it's only a game.

"This is more important than your damn game," AJ answered. I chucked my remote at him and it successfully hit the side of his head. At one o'clock am, Nintendo is a little more than a game. AJ glared at me and I got ready to make a run to the safety of my room if need be. "I should kick your ass for that, but I unfortunately I need your help," he said finally. I let out a breath.

"With what?" The fact that AJ needed my help for something was definitely a self esteem boost.

"My plan. I have a plan."

"What kind of plan?" I slid off the couch to the floor and grabbed the cord of the game station to plug back in. I could get there again . . .

"We're gonna find out what sorta fun we've been missing out on these past few weeks," he said with a smile. "You up for it?" I looked up at him. Was he serious? He was. "You in, Nicky?"

"Definitely," I agreed, tossing the game aside and coming back on the couch. "How?"

"We'll follow them," he said simply. Follow them?

"Like in a James Bond movie!" I said with a grin. He just shook his head at me sadly. "No? Not like James Bond?" I frowned. For some reason he looked almost sorry for me, and he just nodded.

"Sure. Okay, like James Bond."

"Cool!"

"I'll be James, you be Bond. Those are our code names." Code names. This was definitely getting good. I grinned at him and he grinned back.

"And our spy mission plan is . . ." I looked at him questioningly.

"Simple. Just act like everything's normal, and then the next time they go out, we'll be ready to follow them."

"And if we're caught?" I suddenly had doubts. I was too young to die.

"Plead innocent," AJ answered with a laugh. I just gave a half smile. Alright, might work. "Besides, we won't get caught," AJ continued. "Since when does James Bond get caught?" I just shrugged. "See? We won't get caught." Famous last words.

We spent the rest of the time finalizing our plans. I lost track of time until I heard the hotel door unlock and open. I glanced at the clock. Two thirty am. Not bad.

"Uh oh," I whispered, ready to make a run for it.

"Hey, guys!" AJ greeted with a grin. The guys looked up in surprise from the door.

"I'm too tired to be mad at you, so I'm pretending I don't see you," Kevin said slowly. "Get to bed now or I might change my mind." We scrambled out of there pretty quick, besides, we were pretty tired then anyhow.

"So'd you have fun?" I asked Brian when he came into our room a couple minutes later. I saw him pause by the door and glance at me.

"I dunno," he said tiredly. "You should be asleep."

"You don't know? Why? What happened? Where'd you go?"

"Shut your mouth and sleep, boy," Brian answered with a small laugh. "You have too many questions."

"How 'bout just one then- what'd you do?"

"Party," he said after a second pause.

"Where?" I tried.

"Nope, that's more than one question," he said, grabbing a pillow and hitting me with it. I sat up and grabbed it from him. He frowned. "Ugh, no, go to sleep. Don't play."

"You're acting weird."

"How?" He shook his head. "Never mind, I'm tired, bud. I'll talk to you in the morning."

"Oh." I laid back down and stared at the ceiling sadly. I heard him sigh and tried not to smile. Guilt trip worked every time.

"So what'd you do tonight?" he asked tiredly. I sat up more and grinned.

"I got to level eight in the game," I said proudly. He smiled at me.

"Oh yeah? You gotta show me tomorrow."

"I can show you now," I offered, starting to get up.

"Freeze. Tomorrow, ok? Go to bed." He laid down in his bed and pretended to snore. "Brian's sleeping."

"Good night, Brian," I answered in a sad voice. I sighed loudly, but he laughed.

"Not gonna work, Nick. Good night."

"Night," I answered, laying back down. It was okay. I was finally going to find out firsthand with AJ what was really going on.

-

It wasn't until the following Friday that AJ and I were able to put our plan into action. I had almost forgotten about the whole thing to tell you the truth. Until at almost nine o'clock, they mentioned something about going out.

"Out?" I repeated. "Again? That's not fair . . ." I had to get my opinion in, either way.

"Can't we have a little fun for once?" Howie answered to my whine.

"I don't know, can't I?"

He sighed. "Play your game, isn't that fun?"

"No," I answered flatly. "I do it out of boredom." He just got this tired look on his face. There was no use arguing with Howie, might I tell you. You don't get anywhere.

"C'mon, Nicky, don't make a big deal . . ." A big deal? You don't wanna see a big deal, Howie.

"I'm not-"

"We'll be fine," AJ interrupted, giving me a knowing smile. "We'll have fun." Kevin caught his smirk and frowned, a worried look crossing his face.

"Please don't do anything, guys. Really. I trust you, ok?" We just nodded absently. Do anything? Like what? Trash the hotel room? Throw fruit out the window at passing cars? Sure that was fun at first, but it got old quickly.

"Sure, we'll sit here and watch TV. Just like every other night. Not like we have anything better to do." I gave them all a sad look, crossing my arms across my chest. "We'll just see what those pay-per-view buttons do, huh AJ?" Brian came over and gave me a punch to the stomach. I hit him back.

"You're overtired," he said with a laugh. I rolled my eyes. Overtired. That was the excuse for everything. "Just calm down."

"I am calm. Have fun at your party," I added, stressing the word sarcastically.

"Yeah. Don't do anything we wouldn't do," AJ added with a smile. "Remember, just say no." I saw Kevin exchange a weird look with Howie and frowned. What was up with them? Everyone had been acting so weird lately.

"We'll see you later, guys," Kevin said. He messed up my hair as he passed me and I hit his hand away. He could be so irritating. "Bye, Nick."

"Yeah."

"Bye, guys," AJ said sweetly. The second the door shut, he turned on me. "Get your shoes on. C'mon, hurry."

"Aje-"

"Let's go, Bond."

I quickly pulled on my sneakers, not bothering to tie the laces as we ran to the door. At least the guys were dressed casual, so they weren't going someplace too fancy. Thank God. Something told me it was going to be hard enough to blend in.

"They're going up?" I wondered aloud, watching as the lights on top of the elevator in the hall moved to the higher floors. "Is there something up there we don't know about?"

"I guess we'll find out," AJ laughed, waiting until the light stopped. Twelfth floor. Hm. "We'll take the stairs, just in case," he said, grabbing my arm and giving me a tug towards the stairwell. I pulled back but he was stronger than me and got me through the door.

"Are you crazy? It's . . ." I tried to do the math in my head. We were on the fifth floor, twelfth floor makes . . . "Seven floors!"

"Spies do things differently, kid," was the only answer I got, AJ's voice now echoing in the cement surroundings. My mother told me never to use the stairwells in the hotels. Or was that just when I was alone? Did it matter? Did AJ care?

By the eighth floor up, I was getting pretty tired, and even AJ was breathing a little heavy. I thought he might start to change his mind, but no. We kept going. By the time we finally reached the twelfth floor, I heard the sounds of loud voices and stuff. Okay, so maybe there was a party afterall. That still left room for all the other things too.

"Pah-tay," AJ said with a grin. "This might be a fun night after all . . ." I shot him an incredulous look and he chuckled. "Just stay with me, ok?"

"Okay." No problem.

"Okay, let's mingle . . ." Mingle? AJ was really beginning to worry me. I was too busy taking in all the business going around in that banquet hall that I almost crashed into this tall blonde woman wearing what looked like not much more than a bikini. She almost spilled her drink but caught herself just in time.

"I'm sorry," I started. But she was already going off at me in some other language. I had no clue what she was talking about. She stopped talking abruptly and looked at me, as if for an answer. I bit my lip. "Um, bonjour?" She gave me a dirty look at first, but then patted my cheek and continued on.

"Nick, you idiot!" AJ hissed. "We're in Germany, not France," he said, smacking me. How was I supposed to know where we were? I shot him a glare but he was staring at the lady's retreating figure. Fine then.

Alright, back to mingling. AJ was making his way further into the room, and I was just following his lead, not really sure what to do. This didn't look like a normal sort of party. The sad thing was, I really wouldn't know anyway.

AJ grabbed a glass full of some strange blue liquid off of a tray, holding it up to me. "Want one?" he offered. I shook my head. "Wuss."

"What is it?" It looked bubbly. AJ shrugged and took a gulp. He made a face and turned from me, trying to hide it. I smirked. "Strong enough?"

"Shut your mouth."

"Jay, can we maybe hurry and get outta here? 'Cause, you know, I'm thinking maybe we're not in the right place." Another skimpily clad lady passed us by on her way to a dark doorway, this time with a shirtless guy there to meet her. His hand was on his belt buckle. I frowned.

"Oh, we're in the right place . . ." AJ said suddenly.

"Huh?" I stared at him.

"Twelve o'clock."

I looked straight ahead and caught sight of the one guy I had least expected to have anything to do with this. Lou. The fat man was standing there across the room with his own lady hanging off his arm. He was drinking the blue liquid too, and seemed to be having a pretty good time.

"Is this his party?"

"I don't know," AJ answered with a shrug. He smiled. "I guess we'll find out."

"Yeah." I wasn't so thrilled. I watched as Lou's face jiggled from laughing too hard. I guess he was having fun. Maybe it was his party after all. But then how come me and AJ weren't invited? I shook my head. Things just weren't fair.

"Boys! You must be the other two!"

We spun around in time to see two men step towards us with wide smiles. Maybe we were invited after all. Both of the guys had slicked back hair, mustaches, and were smoking cigarettes. The older one spoke first.

"You must be the youngest! So grand to meet you!" He stuck out his hand to shake. It was all sweaty. "I thought they said you couldn't come!"

"Oh, we changed plans," AJ said smoothly.

"Grand! So what are you up to?" He had a pretty high voice . . .

"Just mingling," AJ answered, keeping a hold on my arm. What, was I going to run?

"Care to mingle with us?" the younger man asked with a wink. My stomach turned. I didn't like the way he was looking at us. I think AJ was catching on too.

"Um, maybe later."

"Later is always better," came the soft reply. I felt my eyes widen as AJ said a quick goodbye and pulled us out of there. Thank God.

"Aje, maybe we oughtta-"

"Shit." AJ suddenly grabbed onto my arm and started hauling me in the other direction.

"What? What is it?"

"Kev and 'D. C'mon, hide under here or they'll see us." He pulled me under the table with him, the long tablecloth that hung to the floor hiding us. Evidently it was often used in hiding others too, judging by the man and woman making out about three feet from where AJ and I crouched.

"Ew," I mumbled, scooting away. AJ grabbed my belt.

"Just hold on. Wait a minute. If they catch us here, we're dead."

"James Bond never got caught," I threw back, glaring at him. He stared back and I gave him a look. "Can we go now? I don't like it."

"In a little bit. You're doing fine."

"Are you having a good time, AJ?"

He shrugged.

"Well I don't know about you, but I don't like it when guys come on to me."

He made a face. "I know, Nicky, me neither, but I wanna find out what this is all about."

"It's a party, probably Lou's, we weren't invited, and it doesn't look like fun anyway, so I don't care," I stated flatly. AJ looked amused.

"Hang out here a second, I'll be right back," AJ said, shoving his drink at me to hold. I grabbed his arm before he slid away.

"What are you doing?"

"I'll be right back. Stay put."

Yeah, like I really wanted to stay under this table the whole night. Alone. Well, I wasn't alone. The makeout couple were just a couple feet away.

"AJ . . ." I tried.

"Just shush and stay put. I'll be right back."

Yeah, thanks.

The music suddenly seemed incredibly loud under there, some weird techno dance music that Europe somehow tended to have a thing for. The bass was vibrating through everything.

I was only under there for about ten minutes when I heard someone hissing at me.

"Hey. Hey, kid."

I turned my head and found makeout guy staring at me with this weird smile on his face. He was alone now, no longer groping makeout girl.

"How about me and you . . .?" He trailed off and slid a little closer.

I scrambled out from under that table as fast as I could.

AJ, AJ . . . where was he? The party seemed to have gotten even more crowded, and it was harder to make my way through the room without bumping into somebody. A lot of people were stumbling around with these glazed looks and dazed expressions. I think it was time for me to go.

Of course, I couldn't just leave AJ there. But then again, he'd left me. I smiled slightly. He would kill me.

"Nicky?"

Brian? Oh boy. Quick, pretend you're someone else. I quickly spun around, unfortunately, straight into Brian.

"Nick, what the heck are you doing?"

"I'm . . ." Dammit. And they said James Bond never got caught. Idiots.

"God, Nick. Is AJ here?" Brian had an iron grip on my arm and was dragging me to the door.

"Somewhere," I answered softly, trying to pull my arm out of his tight grasp. "Ow, Brian." He let me go and pushed me through the doorway.

"What are you doing?" he hissed, facing me. He kept looking over his shoulder.

"We were bored . . ."

"What'd you see?" he demanded, running a hand through his hair. His face was flushed, but I didn't know whether it was because he was mad or because of the party.

"See?" I repeated, trying to think over the pounding music. See what? Was I supposed to see something? I shook my head and frowned at him. "How come they-"

"You eat anything? Drink anything?"

I shook my head. "Bri, how come they-"

"I want you back downstairs, in the room, in bed, understand?"

I nodded and thought a second. "Don't tell?"

"Downstairs, go. AJ'll be catching up with you in a minute. Go on."

"But why is-"

"Straight to the room. Go," he repeated again. One look at his face and I took off toward the elevator in a run. AJ would just have to fend for himself when Brian found him.

-

After being back in the room for about twenty minutes, I was kind of getting worried. I had changed into flannel pants and a long sleeved t-shirt, positioned myself on the couch in the main room, and stayed there to wait for AJ to get back. What if something had happened to him? What if makeout guy had gotten him into one of those dark back rooms?

I flipped on the TV while I waited and tried to figure out what was going on. I wanted to know why AJ and I weren't being invited to these parties. So what if they thought we wouldn't have a good time, it was the principle of it that mattered.

And if they were Lou's parties than how come Lou didn't tell us about them? He never let anybody skip out on anything, whether we wanted to or not.

I was so deep in thought I never even heard Brian and AJ come in.

"Nicky, I said be in bed, c'mon," was the first thing Brian said when he came through the door and saw me up. I jumped off the couch, relieved to see them back even if Brian was annoyed. AJ was still holding another glass of blue stuff and had this smile on his face.

"Nick, you'll never guess what I saw . . ."

"What?"

"There were these girls, and . . . oh man . . ."

"Alright, enough," Brian cut in. He gave me a look. "I don't want you guys to do that again, understand? Forget anything you saw or heard, because it's none of your business. Next time listen and do what we tell you to do."

I frowned. "But how come we weren't-"

"What'd I just say?" Brian interrupted. "I don't wanna hear it, okay? It's not any of your business. You have to learn to listen."

"Yeah, but how come . . ." I cut off as Brian glared at me, swallowing. "I'm sorry."

"Just listen next time, Frack. AJ? We clear?"

AJ was busy holding his drink up to the light. "What's this stuff made out of?"

"AJ."

"What?" AJ answered, annoyed. He looked at Brian. "I know, okay? We're not invited to the parties, blah, blah, blah."

"It's not that, Bone . . ." Brian looked frustrated.

"So we are invited?" AJ definitely knew how to get himself in the hot seat. I watched Brian's face carefully.

"No. For God's sake, AJ. Just listen from now on, got it?"

"Got it," AJ repeated. He held the drink up again. "It's got like powder in it or something."

"Don't drink it, throw it away."

"What a waste!"

Before Brian could answer, we heard a key in the door and I froze as Kevin came into the room. Uh oh . . . Did he know we were there too? I got ready to make an escape just in case.

"Guys?" Kevin looked back and forth at the three of us standing there together. "What's going on, Littrell?"

"I wasn't feeling good, so I came back down for a second . . ." Brian shifted his feet. I was suddenly really grateful to him for covering for us.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm better now."

Kevin nodded and looked back at me and AJ. His eyes landed on AJ. "What the heck are you doing with that?" he demanded. The mysterious blue liquid . . . I actually saw AJ's eyes widen.

"I, um . . ."

"I brought it down," Brian filled in quickly, taking the glass out of AJ's hand. "From the party. It's okay." Kevin's eyes were on him now.

"What're you doing with it?"

"I . . . I didn't drink any," Brian said quickly. "Somebody just gave it to me."

"Just dump it out, Bri, okay?" Kevin looked at me and I chewed my lower lip. Did I have something from the party stuck on me too? What was he looking at me for? "Nicky, you feeling okay?"

"Uh huh." I nodded quickly.

"You look kinda pale . . ." He studied my face and I stared back innocently. "Get some sleep, alright?"

"Uh huh." I nodded again quickly and he gave me a funny look.

"Alright. Bri-guy, you coming or going?"

"You're going back?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, 'D's up there so I'm going back for him. You wanna come stick with me?"

"Okay." Brian gave us a look. "Go to bed."

"Thanks, Frick," I whispered.

"This is the last time, okay? I'll see you later."

When Brian and Kevin were gone, AJ slung an arm around my shoulders. "Not so bad, huh, Nicky boy? Wait 'till next time."

"Next time?" I echoed.

"Yeah, of course. Once is never enough, we didn't find out anything!"

Yeah, I found out I wasn't really sure about this whole idea anymore, that's what I found out.

-

The next party was Wednesday.

"Nick, c'mon, c'mon." AJ was quickly pulling on his sneakers from the floor. I watched him from the couch with a frown, not moving.

"AJ, do you really wanna? I mean, we're lucky Bri didn't tell on us last time and we didn't get in trouble . . ."

"Don't be a baby."

"I'm not, you freak."

"Alright, then come on."

"But, AJ-"

"You're such a wuss!"

And that's what made me come. He knew it. But I was curious too after all. I just didn't want to get caught again. AJ tried to convince me we were more experienced this time, that we knew what we were doing. I didn't want to ask what exactly that was.

The party was in the same place, about the same time. we left about ten minutes between the time when the guys left and the time we left. Didn't want to look conspicuous or anything, AJ said. I almost rolled my eyes at that one.

Loud thumping music, crazy disorientated people, more glasses of blue liquid. The scene was becoming almost familiar to me. I could handle this sort of thing. No big deal. I stopped being nervous when we reached the floor. We wouldn't get caught; for once we could have a good time. And most of all, we could try and figure out what this was all about and why it was supposed to be some secret to us.

"Hey gorgeous, want one?" Some bimbo blonde was offering AJ some sort of cigarette, and he looked about ready to accept.. I sent him an annoyed look and luckily he pulled his hand back and shook his head.

"Maybe later," I heard him say. I frowned. Later? He rolled his eyes at me as the blonde moved on to someone else.

"One doesn't hurt."

"That's what you always say," I muttered. All those 'one's add up at some time or another.

"Because it's true."

"You're an idiot."

"You're a wuss."

"Well you're a-"

"Boys!"

Not again . . .

"Boys! Over here! Remember us?" The two guys with the slicked back hair, of course we remembered them. How could we forget? "How grand!"

"Grand," AJ repeated. I instinctively stepped closer to him, giving the two sleazebags a wary look. What the heck did they keep coming to us for? What did they want?

"We never got to introduce ourselves," the younger sleazebag said. He had to be about thirty. "I'm LiLi, and this is Georgie."

LiLi and Georgie? What the f-

"Tom and Dick." Of course AJ gave me the second name with a clever smile. I didn't expect anything less.

"Grand!" They wanted to shake hands again. It took me almost five minutes to peel my hand away from Georgie's sweaty grip. "So what are you boys up to?"

"Uh . . ." AJ ran a hand through his hair absently.

"Oh look," I started, pretending to be peering through the crowd. "Aje- I mean, Tom, Lou is calling us . . ."

"Oh, yeah," AJ immediately threw in. "Guess we'd better go, Nick- um, Dick."

"Sorry," I added to the two guys as we made our getaway. They looked incredibly disappointed for some reason. AJ and I just pushed our way through some people to try and get out of their line of sight.

"Those guys really want us, huh?" AJ was laughing when we finally came to a stop on the other side of the room. I glared at him.

"Let's go." I'd had enough.

"Go? We just got here, Nick. Calm down, everything's fine."

"I think we should go," I stressed.

"Why?" AJ rolled his eyes at me. "Nicky, I can't believe you'd rather sit in a hotel room and play video games than be here!"

What was so hard to believe about that?

"You know what, just go, okay? You're a major downer to this anyway." He gave me a push. "Just go. You're too young for this type of stuff anyway."

"I am not!" I turned on him. "I'm just tired of making sure you don't screw up!"

"Screw up?" AJ gave a little laugh. "Just go, Nick. I don't care. Just don't hang out with me."

I stared at him. Was he serious?

"I'm staying. You can do whatever the hell you want. Later." He spun around and left me standing there. I stared after him and swallowed. So he was serious.

Well that was just great, seeing as he had brought the room key and I hadn't. I was an idiot. I sighed. Well I wouldn't have gone back to the room anyway. I would show him I wasn't too young for this type of stuff.

But how?

I shrugged it off. Who cared anyway. Not me, I had nothing to prove to him anyway. I was just going to stop worrying and start having some fun. Yeah, AJ, we'll see who has the good time now.

-

Fifteen minutes later and I still wasn't sure if I was having a good time or not. I was basically staying away from the weird people and walking around the darkened room aimlessly. I paused by a dance floor and watched this couple get their groove on. You might have called it that. I had never seen that type of dancing before.

I started away from the dance floor as a lady passed by with a tray of blue drinks. I grabbed one. Why not? Everybody else was drinking one, why shouldn't I try?

I took a tiny sip and made a face. God, that burned. But it made me want another taste. The second one didn't burn as much as the first one did.

"Hey, kiddo . . ."

I jumped as a hand came down on my shoulder and looked up into the face of a smiling guy who looked to be in his late twenties. He had light hair, a scruffy beard, and he made me nervous.

"Hey." I was calm.

"How's it going there?"

"Okay."

"How old are you?"

"Old enough."

"How old?" he repeated with a smile.

"Fifteen."

His smile seemed to grow for some reason. "You wanna have some fun?"

"I am having fun," I lied.

"No, I mean real fun." His hand hadn't left my shoulder and I felt him give it a squeeze. "Like, you know . . ."

No, actually I didn't know.

"C'mon, I'll show you." He tried to lead me forward a little, but my eyes caught on one of the dark rooms off to the side and something clicked.

"I don't think-"

"C'mon." He didn't sound so nice anymore.

"I really don't-" His hand tightened on my shoulder and I started to freak. "Lemme go . . ."

"C'mon, kiddo, we'll just go over there and-"

"Get your hands off of him," a voice said from behind us. Kevin.

I didn't know whether to be relieved for the help or to be even more scared. I tried to pull away from the guy. Maybe I could run from both of them and they could duel it out.

"He knows what he wants," the scruffy guy argued, not letting me go.

"He's fifteen, asshole, let him go."

"What's it to you?" the guy challenged. Kevin knocked his hand off of me and gave him a rough push back.

"Get lost."

"Oh yeah?" The scruffy guy took a challenging step toward Kevin. He was an idiot. Anybody could tell by looking at them that he'd be the one to lose if they got into a fight. I rubbed my shoulder where he'd had his grip. Kevin stepped right up to his face but I couldn't hear what they were saying.

Before I could decide if I should get out of there right then, the scruffy dude was gone and Kevin was in my face. I swallowed and took a step back.

"Are you alright?" The way he said it didn't make it sound like he really cared, but I nodded quickly. "What the hell are you doing here?" He pulled the blue glass out of my hand and dropped it on a table. "C'mere."

"I'm leaving," I tried.

"Good, let's go," he answered, grabbing my arm and pulling me in the direction of the door. Why was I the one who was always caught? This just wasn't fair. I tried to pull my arm away from him. "Nick, just don't even . . ."

Okay, he was mad.

"Kev!" Lou's voice was behind us.

"Oh shit," I heard Kevin mutter. He stopped walking and turned slowly, dropping his hands on my shoulders. "Hey, Lou."

Lou was huffing a little from his trek to catch up with us. "Leaving so soon?" His eyes fell on me. "Hey, Nick . . ." He sounded surprised.

"Hi, Lou," I said softly.

"So we changed our minds about him, Kevin?" Lou sounded incredibly satisfied for some odd reason.

"No," came Kevin's dry answer.

"No?" Lou's eyes studied me again and I frowned. What was going on?

"Nothing's changed," Kevin repeated forcefully. "Nothing. We're leaving now. I might be back, I don't know."

"Suit yourself," came Lou's reply. He wasn't acting himself. Then again, those blue drinks might leave your head a little mixed up. He seemed amused at something. "I'll talk with you later."

"Right," Kevin muttered. Lou had already turned away. Kevin muttered something else.

"What?"

"Nothing." He stared at me a second. "Let's go."

I wasn't about to argue with the guy on that one. I scanned the room one more time when we were almost in the hall, hoping to catch sight of AJ. No such luck. I didn't have much time to really look though, seeing as Kevin was pushing me toward the elevator.

"How come you can stay and I can't?" I started as Kevin pressed the up arrow button on the wall. I got a hard look in return.

"Think about it."

"I did. Lou wanted me to stay, didn't he?"

"What does that matter, Nick?"

"He's in charge."

"Your point?"

"That me and AJ should be able-"

"Kev?"

Oh no.

Brian.

"Kev, there's this guy asking . . ." Brian trailed off.

I stepped behind Kevin quickly and wished the elevator doors would open before Brian saw me. Kevin didn't seem to be interested in hiding me though.

"Again, Nick?" Brian glared at me.

Kevin turned on me.

"Again?" he repeated. Brian's eyes widened and I saw him mouth 'oops'. Yeah, oops. That only got both of us into more trouble.

Kevin was looking at Brian as the elevator doors opened and I took the chance to dash inside, diving for the button to shut the doors before either of them could step in. Unfortunately Kevin grabbed me before I even got halfway.

"Going somewhere?"

"Not anymore," I muttered. I ducked out of his hold and pushed him away. Damn. That would've been perfect.

"Um, I guess I'll be catching up with you guys later . . ." Brian tried, starting to take a step back.

"Think again," Kevin answered, catching him by the shirt. "I wanna talk to you too."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I do. C'mon, let's go."

Brian rolled his eyes and reluctantly followed.

-

"Okay, what's the story?"

I glanced Kevin and chewed my lower lip. I had expected him to blow up when we got to the room, but he was actually pretty calm. So what would be my story? He wasn't mad, so nothing drastic. I dropped on the couch, pulled my feet up, and settled with my typical answer.

"Nothin' . . .."

Kevin took a second out of looking around the room to give me a look. A tired, 'I'm not in a good mood so don't try me' look. I sighed.

"Where's AJ?" he asked.

"Gosh, Kev, I don't know." I couldn't help but be sarcastic.

"Lemme guess, his idea?"

"Totally," I agreed with a nod. Kevin rolled his eyes.

"I'm gonna go back and grab him. I think we all need to have a little talk."

"I'll come?" Brian tried.

"I think I can handle it, Brian, you just stay here."

"Oh." Brian actually looked hurt.

I, of course, felt bad. I had pretty much turned my back on him after he went out on a limb for me. Great friend I was.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked after Kevin had left. Brian shrugged and sprawled out in an armchair across from the couch. "Are you?" Another shrug. "Frick?"

"Just shush."

"It's not my fault, Bri, AJ made me."

"You're a big boy, Nicky, make your own decisions."

I was silent for a second. "Bri?"

No answer.

"Bri, I'm sorry," I said finally. "I guess I deserve it if you hate me." Even though that made me sad. I started to chew on my lower lip again.

"I don't hate you, Frack." Brian shook his head. "I'm just a little disappointed when I cover for you and you don't even listen to me. That's not cool. Don't do that."

"I'm sorry, we were just curious . . ." I trailed off.

"Still. I asked you not to."

"I know." I sighed. Great. I chewed my thumbnail absently. "I didn't think that anything was gonna happen. I mean, nothing did happen, right?"

"I dunno." Brian finally looked at me, a frown etched on his face. "Did it?"

I shook my head slowly.

"Nobody did anything to you, right?"

"No." Now whether or not they tried was a different story. I thought back to that scruffy looking guy and my stomach twisted. Him and the other two, LiLi and Georgie. Yuck. I shook my head again.

"Alright." Brian seemed pretty satisfied with my answer, so I decided not to mention any of the other stuff. There was no need, right?

I yawned and leaned back tiredly. I was tired. Really tired. My head kind of hurt too, and I started to get worried. Maybe it was that blue stuff. What if I was poisoned or something? My heart skipped a beat.

But AJ had drunk some last week. And Lou had had more than his fair share on both nights. And they were both still up and around, right? I sighed, relieved, and shut my eyes for a second.

-

"Kev, man, you're crazy . . ."

"You're crazy."

"But, Kev, did you see-"

I heard the sounds of voices what seemed like only a couple minutes later, drifting in and out of my sleep. I opened my blurry eyes and saw Kevin was back with AJ and Howie. Finally. Brian was still awake on the armchair across from me.

"Alright, guys," Kevin started. "Nick, you awake, baby? We gotta talk."

I just nodded tiredly and sat up, rubbing my eyes as AJ plopped down next to me on the couch. Wake up, Nick, come on. Howie dropped down on my other side as Kevin pulled up a chair.

"Bri-"

"First of all, I just wanna say that I had nothing to do with this whole thing," Brian interrupted, cutting Kevin off. "So I don't see why the heck you're mad at me."

Kevin stared at him, smiling slightly.

"I'm not mad at anybody, Bri. I was just gonna see if you were awake."

"Oh." Brian rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Yeah, I'm awake."

"Okay, first things first," Kevin said. "When we tell you guys to do something, you do it, okay?" He looked at me and AJ when he said that. "I think you guys already know that, so that's all I'm gonna say. Second of all, when we don't bring you somewhere, there's a reason."

"And that would be?" AJ crossed his arms.

Kevin paused a second on that. "Well, in this case? Because you're minors."

"Not in Germany," I said with a smile. I didn't know for sure, but it sounded good. Kevin looked exasperated.

"Carter, don't even start with me. If you wanna do something that bad, then become a resident of Germany or something 'cause it's not gonna happen when you're with us."

"We'll try tomorrow, Nick," AJ said, elbowing me. I just rolled my eyes. Yeah, funny one.

"You shoulda told us," I said, looking at Kevin. "That's not fair."

"Okay, I know. I'm sorry. We should have. But that doesn't mean that you guys can follow us. That's not fair either."

"We were just curious."

"I know you were. I hope you're not anymore."

Actually I was.

"Look, guys, we don't even wanna go to these things," Howie said finally. "They're Lou's little parties, he thinks it will make us more popular and promote himself or something. I don't know. It's just a waste of time. "

"So it doesn't have to do with gambling or the mafia or anything like that?" I was utterly disappointed.

"What?!" Kevin was laughing at me. I frowned at him. "Where'd you get all that?"

"Dumbass," AJ muttered, smacking me softly. "You're such an idiot, Nick."

"You're the one who came up with it, stupid!" First he drags me along, then he leaves me, and now he makes fun of me? I hit him back, annoyed.

"Guys, c'mon," Howie interrupted, grabbing my wrist. "Don't start."

"I'm not," I muttered. AJ just rolled his eyes at me. I hated when he acted like that. He acted like the two years between us were a century. Actually sometimes I felt they were too.

"So do we have a deal?" Kevin looked at us expectantly. "You don't go messin' around where you're not supposed to be and we won't keep it all a big secret anymore?"

I shrugged.

"Alright?" Kevin pressed. He was getting tired of us I think. He looked tired at least. Or maybe he'd had some blue stuff too. "Deal?"

"Okay," AJ agreed with a smile. I wondered how Kevin could trust that look. I just nodded. Sure, okay, alright. Whatever they said.

-

About a week of a couple different hotels came and went before any trouble came along my way. I thought the whole thing was over and done with. No more party hopping, at least not on my part. Just back to normal, everyday stuff.

"Guys?"

"Mm-hm?" I didn't bother looking up from the TV screen. This game was getting tough.

"We're going out, okay?"

"Out?" I heard AJ repeat. I rolled my eyes. Who cared, AJ.

"Yes, out," Kevin repeated.

"Party?"

"Yeah, if it matters," Howie answered. They had kind of been avoiding the whole topic of 'party' since the last time. I really didn't know why, or even why they thought the whole idea was so bad. I still didn't get it.

"No, it doesn't matter," AJ answered. I could tell he was up to something, but all I knew was that I wasn't going to get involved. No way.

"Alright, so we'll see you later, okay?" Kevin paused. "Be good."

"Yep, bye." I heard AJ go into the the kitchen as he said it. Probably trying to act uninterested. Big fake.

"Bye, Nicky," Brian said playfully, covering my eyes for a second.

"Argh," I objected, pulling away and trying to catch up in the game. I didn't look up. "Get outta here already."

Brian just laughed. "Seeya later, kiddo."

Yup. Later.

-

Level eleven, level eleven. Wait until Brian saw this. He would never even-

The screen went black.

"AJ!"

Deep breath. It's alright. I should be used to this by now. Never mind that I didn't bother getting the stupid codes for the last two levels! It's just a game, it's just a game.

"What the hell, Aje?" I couldn't help but be a little frustrated.

"I'm going out, little man. I'll see you later." He had pulled the plug to tell me that? He could have jumped out the window and I could care less.

Well, maybe not.

"Where're you going?" I leaned forward to replug the game, glancing up at him. He wiggled his eyebrows at me. "Jay . . . You're not."

"Later." He smiled slightly.

"Bone!!"

"Bye, Nicky."

Idiot. Stupid, stupid, stupid idiot. And he thought he was the cool, mature one. Yeah right. I sat there thinking to myself for about five minutes after he left. Okay, AJ was off at the party upstairs. Alone. Dumb enough to get into anything. Probably would kill himself . . .

So being the kind, caring, brotherly guy that I am, I decided to snoop on him to make sure that nothing would go wrong. Because knowing AJ, he would get into anything.

-

And the beat goes on. The party was the same exact thing as last time. I swear, once you've seen one, you've seen them all. Maybe I was missing out on some key aspect or something, but it didn't really seem like the place to have a good time. Maybe if I had the mindset I was supposed to be there, then I could have had a better time. Who knew.

This time I was determined not to get caught , so I watched my back. I had trouble finding AJ though; I didn't know where he'd gotten off to. That was my priority.

"Hey, kid."

I turned at the slightly familiar voice and frowned when I caught sight of the scruffy looking guy making his way up to me with that weird smile on his face. What did he want? Did he follow us or something?

"You're back for more?"

More what?

"I'm looking for my friend," I said slowly, backing away slightly. He just took another step closer.

"Ah, I see. Want some help looking?"

"No." I didn't like the way he said that.

"How about I help you anyway?" His hand touched my arm slightly and I jerked away. "C'mon, we'll have some fun in the meantime."

"No." Just say no, my mom always says. I wasn't exactly sure what I was saying no to, but I figured that it was the best way to go.

"I'll teach you a few things," the scruffy guy continued, the smile still there. What the heck was with this guy? I looked around for some place to escape to. "We'll just . . . C'mon."

"Uh . . ." Way out, way out. "Lou!" I caught sight of Lou ahead with a couple of people and tugged my arm out of scruffy's grasp. "Lemme go, I have to go."

"But, kid-"

"Lou!" I waved the fat man over. It was about time he could do me a favor! "Lou, Lou, Lou." I tugged at his arm when he came closer. The scruffy guy fortunately got out of there.

"Nicky, my boy! How's it going?"

"Um, okay." I didn't know what to do now that I actually had his attention.

"I'm glad the guys decided to let you come, son. I've been saying all along! Kevin didn't want it, but I told him- you're the one they all want to see!"

I could smell some alcohol on his breath. I think it had gone to his brain. "No, but-"

"Let me introduce you to some people, c'mon. You want a drink?"

"I'm not-"

"Nick, this is part of the business. Have a drink, whatever. It's all part of the show. It's all publicity." I frowned at him. What was he on? That was the exact opposite of everything else anybody had been telling me. I watched as he grabbed a drink off of a tray and shoved it in my face. "Take it."

I took it and sniffed it cautiously, wrinkling my nose. Ugh.

"Alright, c'mon. There's a couple people that have been dying to meet you."

They have? I swallowed. What the heck had I gotten myself into? "Lou, have you seen AJ?"

"No, is he around? That's great." Great. Obviously Lou didn't care what the heck was going on, as long as he was getting 'publicity'. I was starting to worry about where AJ had gotten off to. "This is what's going to get you guys going strong, you know?" His voice was kind of slurred. I watched him grab another glass off of a tray. "You know that, Nick?"

"Yes, sir."

"This is the reason why-"

"Excuse me, Mr. Pearlman?" Some lady stepped between us and whispered something into Lou's ear. He nodded and I saw them step a foot away from me and exchange something. Money? I glanced around the room and chewed my thumbnail nervously. What was going on in this place?

"Alright, where was I?" Lou's heavy hand dropped down on my shoulder and I almost jumped. "Never mind, forget it. Now I don't know how much you've gotten to look around, but there's a lot of interesting things here . . ."

Interesting. Gag.

We were passing by the dance floor, and I couldn't help but watch the people out there. They were off in their own world, somewhere far, far away. Watching them, I felt kind of lost, and I suddenly wished I was home.

"Mr. Felding, I'd like you to meet Nick, the youngest of the boys. Nick, this is Mr. Felding." I turned just in time to have some bald man shaking my hand. "Mr. Felding is the owner of a pretty prestigious record company out here in Germany."

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Nick. I've heard so much about you."

"Thank you, sir." I didn't know what else to say. I was tempted to ask him what he wanted. With the way he was looking at me and all . . .

But I kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to piss off Lou. That would just ruin everything.

"Oh, and this is Red," Lou continued. Did Red have a last name? I had to shake hands again, this time with a short red-headed guy. "Red's . . . in the business." Lou and Red seemed to have their own little laugh on that one. Okay then.

"Nice to meet you, Nick." Red's eyes were kind of dilated and out of focus.

I just nodded, glancing at Lou. Let's move on, Lou. These guys are weird.

"Alright, why don't you guys get to know each other while I take care of something," Lou was saying. What? Can I come? Please. I wasn't even comfortable with these guys with Lou around, never mind alone with them. What was Lou trying to do to me here? "I'll be right back."

The second Lou was gone the two guys moved in on me. I gave them a startled look.

"So, Nick, how's your party going?"

My party? He must have seen my lost look because he just laughed.

"Do you do anything?" Red asked. Do what?

"I do lots of stuff," I answered slowly. Red shook his head.

"Not that stuff. You know, stuff."

"Stuff?" I repeated. I suddenly felt really lost.

"You dumb kid. Stuff."

Oh, and like repeating it was going to make me understand. And he thought I was dumb.

"Are you on anything," Felding said finally, obviously growing impatient. It finally clicked.

"No." I frowned at them. "I think I'd better-"

"No, c'mon. What the big deal, Nick? It's fun. You'll be sorry you never tried sooner. Here." Before I knew it he was pouring some sort of white stuff in the drink I had forgotten I'd even been holding. "Try it."

"No thanks. I think I'm gonna get going n-"

"Try it. You'll thank us."

I doubted that. I shook my head as he stepped closer.

"Try it," he growled. I frowned. What was the big deal? "Dammit, kid, just-"

"You try it," I interrupted, dumping the drink on him. He smacked me in the head and I cringed back. Ow. I felt tears come and tried to push them back.

"You're a funny kid." Felding was trying to brush the wet stain off the front of his shirt.

I didn't answer, I just started to step back, hoping to get away.

"Don't go anywhere, we still have some things to talk about."

"I don't think-"

"I do," Red interrupted. "If you just-"

"Is there a problem here, guys?"

I spun around at Kevin's voice and grabbed his arm. I hadn't thought I would be glad to see him here, but he somehow seemed to drop in at the right time.

"No, no problem," Red said quickly.

"You sure?" Kevin pulled me away from them as he talked.

"Yes, we're sure." Red seemed to gain a little confidence in himself. "We were just getting to know Nick a little better."

"Oh were you?"

"Yes, we've heard so much about him from Lou."

"Have you really," Kevin said dryly. What was it between Kevin and Lou? I had been sensing that they weren't really agreeing on a lot of things lately.

"Kev, can we go?" I hissed, tugging on his arm. I didn't want him starting something. He ignored me.

"Yeah and you wanna know something else?" Red was saying, stepping in Kev's face.

"What's that?" came the challenge.

Oh great. I didn't object as Kevin gave me a push out of the way. I stopped listening to their little quarrel when someone touched my arm. Lou.

"What's going on?" He sounded annoyed. Drunk and annoyed.

"I don't know, they just . . ." I trailed off.

"Kevin!" Lou interrupted, making his way over. "Son, break it up!"

Kevin was too busy dodging the first fist thrown and shoving Red into a table. Oh boy. I had a feeling this was my fault too. A couple punches followed before Lou reached the scene and stepped between them.

"Enough! What's going on?" Lou demanded.

"Your golden boy started everything," Red said with obvious disgust. "Really Lou, I don't need this."

"Kevin, I don't need you starting in on my business associates," Lou started slowly, turning on Kevin.

"Me starting?" Kevin repeated. "Get your facts straight, Lou. And how about you leaving them alone with Nick? I thought we talked about this. I thought we had an agreement."

"Maybe we did." Lou shrugged it off. "You disappoint me, Kevin. This whole thing embarrasses me. This is all for you guys, you know. All this?" Lou motioned with his hands around the room. "This is your future."

And what a bleak one it was.

"We don't need-"

"Don't tell me what you need, son. You're new at this, remember? You're not the one making the decisions. The very fact that you start in on a-"

"Goddamn it, he hit Nick," Kevin argued, glaring at Lou. I didn't know he saw that. Maybe that was why he was so mad? "We don't need this, Lou. I've told you over and over, either you-"

"Yes, I've heard it, Kevin. I don't need it again tonight."

"But when are you going to-"

"Why don't we talk tomorrow. Not here. Not tonight." Lou grabbed another drink off of a tray. "Tonight, no business. Only business." He took a long drink and I wondered what the heck he was talking about and why he just totally contradicted himself in one sentence.

"Right," Kevin muttered. "C'mon, Frack, let's go." I stood there a second before I went to him. "You alright?"

I nodded.

"You sure?"

I nodded again.

"Don't worry about anything, I'll take care of it."

"Lou's mad."

"Nick, he's not even going to remember what happened in the morning. Believe me."

"Oh."

"You see why I don't want you here?"

"I was following AJ this time," I defended. "But I can't find him."

"You can't, huh?" he answered. I looked up at the tone of his voice and followed his line of view. Bingo. AJ was over at the side of the room talking to some skimpily dressed, skinny girl. He looked in one piece. "C'mon."

I followed behind as Kevin started over and stepped between them.

"Jay-boy, we're leaving, you ready?"

AJ gave him this wide-eyed look, like he was surprised to see him. He glanced at me for a second and then back at Kev. "Yeah, I'm ready."

"Good answer." Kevin smiled. "Let's grab Bri and Howie. I think we've had enough parties to last awhile, what do you think?"

I couldn't agree more.

-

"You got in a fight? I can't believe you got in a fight."

We were finally back in the room and Brian was staring at Kevin with wide eyes after we recounted what had happened. Well, kind of recounted. I wasn't adding much.

Kevin looked up and gave a wry smile. "Yeah, B-Rok, I got in a fight," he repeated. Brian shook his head and flopped down on the couch.

"Are you hurt?"

"No, the guy was too stoned to throw a straight punch if his life depended on it."

"I can't believe you got in a fight! You!"

"You wanna be next?" Kevin asked him, raising an eyebrow. I think that was a hint to quit it. Brian didn't seem to catch on.

"How come? Who started it?"

"Nick."

"Me?" I repeated incredulously, at the same time Brian threw me the wide-eyed look. I passed the same look to Kevin. "I did?"

"I'm just messing with you, baby, relax. No one started it, it just happened."

"Oh." Brian paused and looked at me. "What were you doing there?"

"Following him." I pointed at AJ. It was the pass the blame game. I was very good at it. I expected AJ to throw something back, but he looked distracted. I watched him dig through his pockets. He was frowning.

"Have you guys seen my wallet?" He looked up at us. "Huh?"

"Your wallet?" Howie repeated. "Where'd you leave it?"

"Nowhere, I had it on me. I thought I had it on me . . ." He trailed off with a worried look on his face, chewing his lower lip. "Shit, guys," he moaned.

"You have a lot of money in there?"

"I don't know. Yeah, some."

There was silence until Kevin let out a breath and shook his head. "Well here's your lesson of the day, little man. You don't go to a party like the one upstairs with all your money in your back pocket."

AJ stared at him. "You think somebody picked it off of me?"

"Could be," Howie said. "I wouldn't doubt it."

"Who?" AJ was getting pissed now.

"How about your lady friend?" Kevin offered, rolling his eyes. "She was all over you."

"Yeah, but-" AJ shook his head. "That bitch!"

"Hey now, who was supposed to be there?"

"Shut up, Kevin, that's not the point!"

"Yeah, it is. You do what you're supposed to and you won't get into trouble."

"I'm gonna go up and get it back."

"You won't get it back, Aje," Kevin said gently. AJ just sighed. I kind of felt bad for him. He was probably carrying all his cash on him too. Well, it was his fault. If he hadn't gone, I wouldn't have followed him, wouldn't have met those guys, Kevin wouldn't have gotten into that fight, and he wouldn't have lost his wallet. I shook my head at him.

"Man, AJ, this is all your fault."

He pointed a finger at me. "You even start with me, Nicky, and I swear to God . . ."

"I'm just sayin' . . ."

"Don't, Nicky."

I leaned back and crossed my arms. Okay, I wasn't going to start with him. But it was still his fault.

"Guys, you know, I just don't even . . ." Kevin trailed off and raked his hands through his hair, frustrated. "God," he muttered.

"I'm sorry," I started, figuring it was me and AJ again. Seemed like I couldn't say it enough lately.

"No, it's not you." He shook his head. "I'm over that. It's just this whole thing . . ."

"What whole thing?" Brian sat up a little.

"Everything- these parties, all Lou's shit. Argh." He got up and headed to the kitchen, running his hands through his hair again. I pulled my feet up on the couch and let out a breath.

"I didn't think it bothered him that much," Brian said softly.

"It always bothered him," Howie answered, shaking his head. "Doesn't it bother you?"

"Well, yeah, but . . ." Brian chewed his thumbnail absently, brow furrowed. I frowned and glanced at the clock on the wall. It was two o'clock in the morning and we were all sitting here worrying over stuff. I yawned and wondered what time we had to get up in the morning.

"Why don't you get to bed," Howie said, hitting my knee. I shook my head no. I didn't want to miss out on everything like I always did. "You tired?"

"Nope."

There was a minute of silence and we all kind of stared off into space. I shifted in my seat and grabbed the remote control off the table, flipping on the TV. I probably wouldn't be missing anything at all if I went to bed.

"Maybe we should all confront him," Brian said suddenly.

"What?" Howie looked up and I stopped flipping.

"Well I'm sick of this too. Maybe if we just talked to Lou about it then he wouldn't ask us to do it anymore," Brian continued, looking at Howie hopefully. "Right?" Howie just shook his head.

"I don't think that'll work, Rok. Lou has this idea in his head that we like these things. He thinks it's helping us."

"Yeah, but . . . I don't know, D."

"Why don't you just not go?" I asked. "If we don't want to go, we shouldn't have to."

"That's not the way it works, buddy," Howie answered, shaking his head. I frowned.

"Why not?"

"It's just not," was all he said. I didn't press him on it.

"Maybe we should just keep going to the parties and have some fun with it," AJ spoke up, giving a smile.

"Maybe that 'we' doesn't even include you."

"I was just kidding, D, the parties are crappy anyway."

I was surprised to hear that coming from him. It seemed to me that they had everything he would like upstairs. To tell you the truth I was kind of relieved to hear that maybe that wasn't true.

"Did I just hear that from Jay?" We looked up as Kevin came back into the room. He was giving AJ a teasing smile.

"Whatever, Kev," AJ scoffed. "You're just jealous because you didn't get all the girls."

"Yeah, big man?" Kevin returned. "The only girl I saw around you was after only one thing."

"What's that?" AJ challenged.

"Your wallet."

AJ rolled his eyes. "Shut up," he muttered. "And yeah, I thought the party was crappy. I'm not into all that stuff you know."

"You better not be," Kevin answered, dropping down next to Brian on the couch and leaning back. Brian hit him the arm.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Bri."

Brian hit him again. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Brian tried to hit him again, but Kevin grabbed his fist. "You do want to fight me, don't you?" he said with a laugh. Brian just grinned. "Look guys, let's not worry about this tonight. We'll talk tomorrow and figure out something, alright? I'm too tired to think right now."

Something told me he was still thinking about though, we all were. But no one argued him on it and that was it. Everyone went to bed. Unfortunately my head was too busy worrying to get a lot of sleep that night. I spent half the time trying to think of a way to get us of this.

-

I woke up the next morning early. Very early. Like 'a sane Nick shouldn't be getting up at this time' kind of early. Lucky Brian was still soundly sleeping in his bed across the room. Looked like nothing was bothering his sleep. I tried to fall back but I really couldn't, so I finally just got up. I wasn't even tired.

"Bri?" I shook his shoulder and got no response. "Rok, get up."

"Why?" came the hardly audible answer. He was talking into his pillow.

"Because I'm up." Duh, Brian.

"What time is it?"

"Time to get up?" I tried, shaking his shoulder again.

"Time, funny man."

"Um, it's almost seven." I mumbled the seven part, but he still heard it.

"Go to bed, Nick," he muttered, rolling over and facing away from me. I stared at his motionless form for a second before going to the window and pulling open the curtains and blinds. Perfect. Bright, bright sunlight. Even I squinted.

"Look, rise and shine!" I announced happily.

"You shut that or I will get up and you won't be happy."

"You sound awake, Brian."

"Shut it or you're gonna get it."

"I thought you were a morning person."

"Shut it!"

I watched as he covered his head with his pillow. I sighed loudly.

"C'mere, Nick."

I sighed again, but I shut the blinds.

"Nick, I'm tired," Brian started.

"It's okay," I said sadly. I smiled slightly. Guilt.

"Go back to bed," he mumbled.

"I'm gonna go buy a soda or something, okay?"

He mumbled something in return.

"What, Brian?" No answer. "Do you have any money?" No answer. "Want me to bring you back anything?" I rolled my eyes at his lack of response. His loss that he didn't want to hang out with me early in the morning.

-

It was about twenty after seven when I finally left the room and went down the hall to the soda and candy machines. I had taken a quick shower and everything, hoping that somebody else would be up by the time I was done, but they were all still dead to the world and I decided to not to press my luck with Brian anymore.

So I went myself. No big deal.

Reeses or Snickers. Reeses or M&Ms . . .

Before I could choose what breakfast was going to be for me that morning, I heard someone call my name. A couple times actually, they must have thought I was deaf. I turned around and frowned when I saw Lou walking toward me from the direction of the elevators. Great. I lost my appetite.

"Nick," he greeted.

"Hi, Lou."

"You're up early."

I shrugged and started smoothing out the dollar I was holding so I didn't have to look at him. Up until lately I had always thought I could trust him. I was debating in my head that maybe we still could. It made me feel slightly better.

"Well since you're up, why don't we talk about a couple things I've been meaning to share with you."

"What kinda things?" I turned from him and fed the machine my dollar. Okay, Reeses it was. I grabbed it from the slot in the bottom and shoved the change in my pocket.

"C'mon to my room, we'll talk." Lou motioned for me to come with him and started walking slowly down the hall. I reluctantly followed. I don't think I had ever really been one on one with him before. I had no protection.

Lou's suite was a hundred times better than our suite. Well, maybe it was just the big TV that made me jealous, but the whole place was bigger too, I swear.

"Have a seat," he told me, motioning to the couch. I sat in a big plush armchair and watched as he sank heavily on the couch. "So you were at the party last night."

"Yes, sir." I pulled open the Reeses package.

"And what did you think?"

"It was interesting." I had learned that technique from the guys. If you don't like something but you're expected to, you can always just say it was 'interesting'.

"Interesting?"

"Mm-hm." I was too busy trying to think off another way to answer the question, 'How do you eat your Reeses?'. I think I had tried every possibility.

"Did you have a good time?" he asked. I didn't answer right away. "Son?"

I looked up. "What're the parties for?"

"Well, promotion basically. Getting you started, known in the business. To meet people, expand your horizons."

That last part sounded like an Army commercial.

"I'm glad you finally came," Lou continued. "I want you to continue to come. There's a few upcoming gatherings this month and-"

"What if we don't want to go?" I interrupted. I knew the guys wouldn't be happy knowing that more were coming up. And that Lou wanted me there. But why? I didn't want to go anymore. "What if we don't go?"

"I'm telling you guys to go," was his dry reply. I swallowed.

"But what if we don't?"

"Nick, son. I don't think you understand," he started. His face looked threatening. "I'm the one who controls your future, right?" He looked at me for an answer, so I just nodded quickly. "Right. It's up to me what happens. Do you like being in this group?" This time I nodded for real, and it hit me what he was saying. Would he do that to us?

"But-"

"Look, son, all I'm asking you to do is go to some parties," Lou interrupted, smiling again. A fake smile. "Now why is that such a bad thing? You don't want to go to a party?"

"Well, that's not it, Lou." My stomach hurt suddenly.

"Look, Nick, I love you guys. You're like my kids. I wouldn't let something bad happen to my kids."

"I know." I wasn't going to cry.

"Alright, then. Is it a deal?" Was what a deal?

"I have to go. I promised the guys I'd be right back and I've been gone awhile," I said quickly, pulling myself off the couch. Lou was about to say something in response when his phone rang. He went to answer it and I quickly headed to the door.

" . . . last night?"

I paused with my hand on the knob.

"What happened? . . . No, I don't remember that . . . I did what?" There was a long pause. "I know, I know . . . Look, let's talk later, I have this headache and- . . . Alright. Bye."

I scrambled out the door when I heard him hang up the phone, nearly running to our room. I felt like crying.

-

I shut the door quickly and leaned against it, shutting my eyes for a second and breathing in deeply. No reason to get upset. No reason at all. Lou would never do that. We trusted him. We wouldn't let that happen. It couldn't. For a second I wished that AJ and I had never even tried to figure out what was going on.

"Nick? You okay?"

I opened my eyes and spotted Brian, so I nodded quickly and pushed away from the door. "You want a Reeses?" I offered. He shook his head.

"What's the matter? You look like you're gonna cry."

I shook my head a little and wondered what would happen if Lou did do something. If all this ended.

"Nickolas . . ." Brian wasn't dumb.

"You shoulda gotten up early like me," I told him, flopping down on the couch. Then maybe Lou wouldn't have said that stuff. Or even wanted to talk. Or told me he could end the group, just like that. I wiped my eyes and broke my last Reeses in half. Brian sank in next to me.

"Talk."

"Hi." I broke the half into a quarter.

"Is this because I didn't get up early like you wanted me to?"

I shook my head and tried to swallow back the lump in my throat.

"What happened?"

"I don't know." I didn't want to tell him. That would just make him want to talk to Lou, which would make Lou mad and end it. End us.

"Tell me." Brian wrapped an arm around my neck in a chokehold. "Or else."

I started to cry. I couldn't help it. He let go.

"Nick . . .? What happened?"

"It's Lou."

"Lou? What about him?" Brian looked at me for a second and rubbed the back of my head. "It's okay, don't cry."

"I'm not." I wiped my eyes with my sleeve. "Want a Reeses?"

He finally took one of the quarters. "What happened?"

"He said stuff." I stuck a piece of the candy in my mouth and sucked on it slowly. "He was in the hall and he said he wanted to talk. About the parties and stuff."

"And?"

"And I asked him what if we don't wanna go anymore. And he got upset and he said . . ." The lump was back. "He started saying how he was the one who was controlling what happened to the group and our future and everything and that he could end it."

Brian was silent for a second.

"I don't want it to end, Brian . . ." I whispered. Brian pulled me into a hug.

"He's wrong, Nicky, that's not gonna happen. Backstreet's forever. He can't do that. He's wrong."

I just nodded. All I knew was that Brian wouldn't lie to me. He kissed the top of my head playfully.

"Don't let him get to you. He likes to scare you."

"Okay." For some reason I didn't think Lou's only purpose was to scare me.

"Nothing's gonna happen," he continued. "It can't. Just don't worry."

"Okay," I said again.

"We'll talk to him and-"

"No! You can't," I pleaded, pulling away. That was exactly what Lou didn't want. If they talked to him then he'd get mad and break us up. "You can't . . ."

"Why?"

"You can't," I moaned. I couldn't say anything or else Brian would get even more upset and want to go fight Lou on it, which would just ruin everything. I shouldn't have even said anything to begin with.

"Okay, okay . . . We won't." Brian sounded confused.

"What happened?" We looked up as Kevin came into the room, pulling a shirt over his head. He stopped in front of us and caught my eye. "What's the matter?"

I shook my head and wiped my eyes.

"Lou," Brian said. I swear Kevin's eyes narrowed.

"What happened with Lou?" No one answered him. "Nicky, what'd he do?"

I just fell over on the couch and covered my head with a pillow.

"Nick?"

I wasn't going to say anything. Turns out it didn't matter if I did or not though, because good old Brian was already filling him in.

"He said what?" Kevin sounded pretty mad. Great. He'd probably want to talk to Lou. To sort things out, like he always wanted. This was only going to make things worse.

I felt a hand on my back but I ignored them. Let them convince themselves that it's not a big deal. I wasn't going to say anything else.

"Nick?"

I didn't answer.

"I've had enough of this," Kev was saying. "Maybe if I just go over there and-"

"No!" I sat up quickly, dropping down the pillow. "Don't Kevin, or I'll hate you forever."

"Nick," Brian started.

"You don't understand . . ." I was losing it. "Don't you get it?"

"I get the fact that I'm sick of all this," Kevin answered. "And that if we just talk to him, then maybe he'd understand."

Kevin was even more naive then I was.

"You can't . . ."

"Nick, he only told you that so you'd be afraid not to do everything he says." Kevin touched my head with a frown. "You're gonna make yourself sick."

"No, I'm not." I got up and pushed past them. "Fine, do what you want. I don't care. It's none of my business anyway, right?" One of them caught me back but I pulled away. Let them ruin everything. As I moved away I heard them lower their voices. Everything was a big secret when I wasn't around.

-

"Nick, he's just messing with you."

"But how do you know?"

AJ paused from going through his bag and looked at me. "Because, Nick. Why would he? He doesn't want this thing to end anymore than we do. Besides, do you really see him as that much of a bad guy?"

I shook my head.

"You see?" AJ turned his attention back to his bag. Everyone now and then AJ was cool and didn't try to make me feel like an idiot when I talked to him. Actually, sometimes he was the best one to talk to.

I leaned back more on Howie's bed and stared at the plaster ceiling. It was the rough textured kind. Maybe they were right and I was just overreacting. But what if they were wrong and it would be too late to do anything when we figured that out?

"Nicky, you want me to go with you to talk to him or something?"

"I don't know . . ." I shook my head. "I don't wanna talk to him again."

"Well think about it. Stop worrying though, serious."

"I wish we never went in the first place."

"Damn, kid, you always do that."

"Do what?" I looked back at him as he rolled his eyes.

"Wish away the past. If you can't change it, don't keep thinking about it."

"Yeah, but-"

"Don't wanna hear it," AJ interrupted. He started humming loudly as he zipped up his bag and tossed it to the floor. "Don't do that."

"So what do you think we should do?"

"I don't know."

"Doesn't it bother you?"

"Of course it bothers me, I just think you should stop worrying."

"But, AJ, it's like the worst thing in the world that could happen to us."

He stared at me a second. "C'mere." He got off of his bed and grabbed my arm, pulling me up.

"Why?" I asked suspiciously.

"Let's go talk . . ."

"To the guys? Why?" I shook my head and didn't wait for him to answer. "Why don't we think of something?"

"What kind of 'something'?"

"A plan- you know." I pulled my arm away from him. "We just have find a way to convince Lou that the parties are a bad idea."

AJ just sighed. "Nick, forget playing James Bond, alright? It's over."

"C'mon, AJ . . ." I couldn't help the whining tone in my voice. I was desperate to fix everything. "If we get in trouble, it'll all be my fault, okay?"

"I'd blame you anyway," he muttered, turning away from me and leaving the room. I stared at the empty doorway. Was that a yes? No? Maybe?

I'd take it as a yes.

-

I had an idea.

It came to me later that night when I was watching TV with Brian and Kev. Thinking of what we should do had bugged me all day, during practice, through dinner, through everything. But I finally figured out what me and AJ could do. It was perfect.

"Be right back," I said, jumping off the couch and nearly running to AJ's room. They must've thought that I was crazy.

AJ was lying on his bed with his headphones on and his eyes shut when I barged in the door and nearly crashed into Howie.

"Is he sleeping?" I asked as Howie caught me.

"I don't know, what's your rush? You okay?"

"Yep." I pulled out of his arms, moving toward AJ. "AJ?"

"Nicky, if he's asleep leave him, alright?"

"Sure, Howie." I watched him leave and looked back at AJ. "AJ?"

No answer. I could hear his music from where I was.

I unplugged the headphones from the CD player and pushed his shoulder. "Jay?"

"What." Was he annoyed? He looked at me and sat up a little, pulling off the headphones.

"AJ, I got an idea."

"One word, Nicky. No."

"No, listen, it's simple." I gave a pleading look.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Please? Just listen?"

He sighed and shrugged, shutting his eyes again. "Talk, make it quick."

I grinned and jumped on the other side of the bed. "Okay, it's easy. We'll call Lou, and then we'll pretend to be um, that Felding guy-"

"What Felding guy?" AJ interrupted.

"You know, that guy who Lou knew." I knew I had told him, he was just stupid. "We'll pretend to be him and tell Lou something to make him not want us to come to any parties anymore."

"Alright, Nick, I follow, but tell him what."

"I don't know," I admitted. "I thought you'd think of something."

"Wrong, kiddo. This is your plan, you follow through with it."

"But, Bone . . ."

"No, Nick, I don't wanna play around anymore."

"You're just scared. You're a wuss."

"Hey," he objected, smacking me hard. "Just stop, okay? Forget it. You're making it into a much bigger deal than it is."

"But I'm not . . ."

"You are, Nick." He stared at me a second. "Oh, fine."

"You'll do it?"

He shrugged.

"Tonight?"

He shook his head.

"Tomorrow?"

"Man, calm down. I don't see the big deal. We're only gonna be in Europe for like a week and a half more, so it's not like it'll go on forever."

I guess he was right.

"I'll think about it though and get back to you, bro. Get outta here and leave me alone now." He pushed me off the bed and grabbed his headphones. I just sighed and left. There had to be something I could do. If AJ wasn't going to help me, then I'd do it alone. I didn't need him.

"What're you up to, Nick?" Kevin looked at me as I started to pass through the main room.

"What? Nothin'," I said quickly.

"Okay, c'mere." He patted to cushion next to him on the couch. "We're gonna play a game."

What was this? I dropped down next to him, confused.

"It'll be like twenty questions. I ask you something and you say yes or no. It'll be fun."

"Can I lie?"

"No, you goof," he laughed. "Ready?"

I shot Brian a glance and he just shrugged.

"Can I ask you questions too?"

"Whatever, baby, I don't care. Ready?"

"Okay . . ." I said reluctantly.

"Are you planning something?"

Ah, so that was what this was about. "Can you define 'something'?"

Brian started laughing.

"Anything," Kevin answered.

"I have to answer with yes or no?"

"Yes."

"Just yes? I can't answer with no if I have to?"

"Nicky, come on."

"I'm serious. I don't get this game, Kev."

"Nick." He was losing his patience, I could tell. I giggled.

"Brian, do you get it?"

Brian was too busy laughing on Kevin's other side to answer. I shrugged at Kevin and he swatted my leg, shaking his head.

"You like to aggravate me?"

"Is that question part of the game?"

"Oh, just stop."

"Is it?"

"Just forget it. You brat."

I grinned.

"I know you're planning something anyway. You and Bone."

"Why?"

"By just looking at you." Now he really looked amused. "It's written across your face."

"Well I think you and Brian are planning something," I returned, crossing my arms. I hated it when he acted like he knew everything. Maybe he did, but I still didn't like it.

"Well, maybe we are," he returned.

"Really?"

His smile grew and I frowned.

"Stop."

"I'm just playing with you."

"Kev . . ."

"I just wanted to ask you not to plan anything or do anything, alright? I'm gonna talk to Lou tomorrow and sort things out."

Sort things out? "How?"

"Talking. Conversation. You know, the stuff we're trying to teach you how to do."

"Oh, funny." I rolled my eyes. I only wished talking would get us out of this whole thing.

-

Go through all that stuff about talking and conversation, and who would guess- here they were keeping things a secret again.

I wasn't sure at first, but when everybody stops talking when you come into a room it's kind of obvious. You'd think they could at least try harder. I stared at Brian and Kevin on the couch accusingly when their voices cut off into silence.

"What're you talking about?"

"Vacation."

"Basketball."

I stared at them.

"We're gonna play basketball during the vacation."

I glared at them. Nice try, Brian. "Secrets, secrets aren't nice."

"Nicky, don't even." Kevin rolled his eyes at me.

"You said you weren't gonna have secrets anymore."

"Why are you eavesdropping?"

"If I was eavesdropping why the hell would I be asking you what you were talking about?"

They both stared at me.

"I wasn't eavesdropping," I repeated. "Why are you keeping secrets?"

"Nick," Kevin said. "Believe it or not, not everything is your business."

"Fine, don't ever expect me to ever tell you anything again."

"Don't be ridiculous, little man."

I just glared at him.

Brian shook his head at me. "Nicky, really. C'mon."

"You come on." Okay, so I was being a little immature. "You said you weren't going to keep secrets anymore," I repeated.

Kevin rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "There were hidden clauses in that."

"Hidden what?" I glared at him again.

"Exceptions, Carter."

Oh.

"You lied," I said finally.

"We didn't lie," Brian said, looking hurt. "We never lie."

"You just did!"

"We did not!" he objected.

"You did too!"

"We did not-"

"Alright," Kevin interrupted. "Enough. We didn't lie to you, Nick. And you're not getting anywhere so you can stop making such a big deal."

"I'm not," I said huffily. "I'm just making a point."

He smiled slightly. "Alright, point taken."

"Really?"

"What was it?"

My eyes narrowed and Brian laughed. I glared at him too.

"Nick, man, sorry," Kevin started. "I'm just messing with you, alright?"

I looked at him. No, it wasn't alright, what did he want me to say?

"Alright, listen up. Let me tell you something. If I keep something from you, or if Brian keeps something from you, it's not because we're trying to have secrets. There's just some things that you don't need to think about, and I'm not going to have you worrying about them when you don't need to."

Sure, make it sound like you're doing me a favor. I gave him a dubious look.

"Just trust me on this one, Nicky. Okay?"

I shrugged. "Okay."

"Okay," Brian repeated with a smile. "You wanna show me those levels, man?" He motioned to the video game on the floor.

"Sure."

I pretty much got over things quick with them.

-

I was still looking for a way to get us out of the mess when I went out later to get a soda from the vending machine. I guess I should really be more careful around those things because whenever I'm there alone it seems to put me in not so good situations.

I was trying to shove my stupid dollar into the stupid machine that wouldn't except it no matter how straight I made it when I heard voices down the hall. I didn't think anything of it until I recognized the voices.

Lou and that Felding guy.

I didn't move at first because I was hoping they would just pass me by. But with my luck they kept coming closer. "Hold up," I heard Lou say. "Lemme just grab a snack ..."

Snack? No, Lou, no. Think about your diet.

I heard the footsteps get closer to the small vending alcove, and I did the only thing I could. I hid.

I grabbed my dollar out of the slot and moved toward the last vending machine in the room, sliding between it and the wall. It was a tight squeeze, but I fit. And it was just in time too because in less than a second the voices were in the room.

" ... tonight?"

I held my breath.

"Yeah tonight might be the night. "

"Listen, Felding, it's making me uneasy. I'm thinking about pulling out."

Pulling out of what?

The sound of a soda falling through the machine and into the slot blocked out the beginning of Felding's answer.

" ... a set up."

"I'm serious, . I can't be there if the cops are gonna show up. And neither can my boys. We're trying to pull ahead here, not get in jail."

Why the hell would we go to jail?

"Alright, Lou. I'll ask around. Try and see if I can get anything else outta Red. But I'd ... you know, get rid of any stuff just in case anyone comes snooping around."

"Yeah, I'm planning on it." Lou paused and I heard a candy wrapper being opened. "Listen, Felding, I don't want my name or my company's name on any of this, are we clear?" His voice had a threatening tone.

"I understand. I'll take care of it."

I heard their footsteps move away and tried to stop my heart from pounding so hard. I was sure they could hear it too. I slid out a little from behind the machine to make sure the coast was clear before I pulled myself out all the way.

So there was some sort of setup going on that Lou didn't want to be a part of. Who was setting them up? By the way Felding had said to 'get rid of any stuff ' I had a feeling that it had to do with the drugs at the parties. My mind raced. So maybe AJ and I had been right on some of our possible ideas.

And lucky enough it sounded like Lou wanted as little to do with it as I did. Maybe this thing was over.

-

And it seemed like it was.

I sat in a chair during one of our scheduling meetings and absently stared out the window as Lou went over our plans for the last two weeks we were there in Europe. I was waiting for him to drop some sort of bomb about going to another party, but none came.

"I think that's about it, boys," he was saying.

I brought my attention back. Good, I was ready to go.

"What about the nights?"

"Nights?" Lou looked up, brushing something invisible off the front of his shirt. "What about them."

"We're free? Not doing anything?" Brian had this incredulous look on his face.

"No, why?" Lou gave him a 'what the hell are you getting at' sort of look. Brian just shrugged his shoulders and held up his hands.

"No reason ..."

"No parties?!" Now AJ was the one with the incredulous look on his face.

Lou's face noticeably darkened. I smirked. I didn't feel sorry for him really. Not one bit. He was opening his big mouth to answer but AJ was ahead of him. AJ knew how to get people started.

"Why? How come? Did something happen?" He leaned forward.

"Alex, I don't remember the parties being any of your business to begin with," came the sharp answer. The incredulous look passed on to Kevin this time but he seemed to recover pretty quickly.

"Yeah right," AJ scoffed. "So-"

"So nothing," Kevin interrupted, getting up from his chair and 'accidentally' stepping on AJ's foot. AJ just rolled his eyes and kicked him in response. "Thanks, Lou," Kevin was saying. "We better get going."

Lou waved him off with a grimace. "Right, right."

The door shut behind us when we stepped out into the hall.

"Hey Kev, I guess talking to him worked, huh?" Brian said it with a smile.

"I never talked to him."

"What?" Brian stared at him. "Then how come . . ."

"You got me." Kevin shrugged. "And don't go wondering why either. It's over, that's all that matters. I don't care why."

"I know why." I couldn't help but say it. I had to. I just had to. Any little thing I knew more then them was big in my eyes. I had to rub it in. Where was the victory in keeping it to myself?

Four pairs of eyes landed on me. I smiled innocently.

"What do you know?" AJ demanded.

I shrugged.

"Nick, c'mon," Brian wheedled. "What happened? I'm curious."

Curiosity killed the cat, Brian, you should know that by now. I just shook my head.

Kevin frowned slightly. "Nick, what do you know and how did you find out?"

I gave him a big grin. "You know, Kev, there are some things that you just don't need to know, so why worry about them?"

Kevin shook his head and dropped his hands on my shoulders. "I knew that one was coming."

THE END