Disclaimer: Hey, don't look at me man! I just write what the voices tell me to, you want to sue someone, sue them!!
Author's note: This is in response to the weekly challenge.
Title - Mascots and Booze Don't
Mix
Author - Ashlee
E-mail Address - zyp959@hotmail.com
Rating - PG for Language
Category - Um ... Humor, I hope
Series/Sequel - nope
Spoilers - N/A
Summary - Response to a weekly challenge : If the Centre were to have a mascot,
what would it be?
"Mascots
and Booze Don't Mix"
By Ashlee
Miss Parker's House
Miss Parker sat on her couch after yet another horrendous day at the Centre. She was wearing yellow silk pajamas and sipping on a nice cold glass of vodka. She had just reached the point of total relaxation when the inevitable happened…her phone rang. With a quick glance at the clock above the mantle she knew exactly who it was. Only one person had balls enough to call her at one a.m.
She picked up the phone reluctantly and sat there for a moment before deciding to shock the holy bejeezus out of the person on the other side.
"Hello?"
The person on the other was stunned into silence for a moment.
"Hello, Miss Parker. My, to what do I owe the pleasantries?"
"To the fact that I'm over-tired, over-worked and have had one too many drinks." Miss Parker said, still not angry, but actually enjoying the banter between them. Yup, definitely one too many drinks…probably more.
"Speaking of work Miss Parker, what do you think the Centre's mascot would be?" Jarod asked, genuinely curious.
Parker definitely knew she was drunk when she actually considered the question. But she did give it some serious thought. After a moment she giggled remembering that damn shirt of Broots with the saying 'the Centre Recycles' on it.
"What's so funny?" Jarod asked.
After regaining her composure Miss Parker spoke.
"Nothing, nothing. Hmm. A Centre mascot." She paused for another moment. "What did you have in mind?" she asked, still not able to think of anything.
"I was thinking Mr. Potato Head. He has many faces, or guises, you can put his ears anywhere on him, and he can hold things inside. Think of his shape as the building of the Centre and his parts extensions of it."
Miss Parker giggled again. She was WAY beyond being drunk.
"Mr. Potato Head has…" she paused as she laughed again, "interchangeable parts!!" Then she burst out laughing. There was no stopping her now, she was hammered.
"Parker, are you okay?" Jarod asked concerned.
"Oh yeah, the best I've been in days. But that idea's no good. It's way too metaphorical. You need to think to much."
Jarod chuckled.
"Well, we don't want to strain any brains."
Miss Parker ignored him, deep in thought.
"How 'bout the devil, but he's dressed up, like, in a disguise that anyone would find disarming. The Centre is sorta the devil in disguise. From the outside it looks like a normal everyday business, which, in itself, is a pleasant cover for all of the horrors it holds inside."
Jarod chuckled, then broke out into deep laughter as the picture formed in his mind.
"Thanks Miss Parker," was all he said before hanging up.
***
Three Days Later
Miss Parker's Office
The Centre
Miss Parker sat at her desk. She had been gone the last couple days on mandatory vacation. She felt better now that she had rested, and had decided to take it easy on Broots today…that was until he brought in a shoe box.
"Miss Parker, this came for you."
Parker ripped it out of his hands, knowing that it was from Jarod.
"Wonder what frankenboy sent me this time." She opened the package, and pulled out a T-shirt, the design facing her.
On the shirt was an obvious devil, pitchfork and all, wearing a blue beanie, and a blue T-shirt, looking otherwise disarming. And in the hand, opposite the pitchfork, he held a Mr. Potato Head, wearing the same mischievous grin as the devil who held it.
Miss Parker burst out laughing when she saw it, causing Broots to jump back in surprise.
"What is it Miss Parker?"
She smiled and showed him the shirt.
"The byproduct of a late night question after one too many drinks."
"What question?"
"What would the Centre's mascot be?"
Broots looked at the shirt, and grinned, getting it.
"Cool, can I get some of those?"