Disclaimer: You people, this is like the twentieth story I've written. I just figured you knew by now. Yeah, fine, okay I'll say it. The characters portrayed belong to Steve and Craig, happy now?
Author's Note: Okay I'm a little late getting this weekly challenge out, but I'm a busy college student…no really I am. Okay so here's the challenge:
You're working at The Centre. Broots hands you a piece of paper and a disk. On the not there are several numbers and something that looks like SL-20. You put the disk in your computer. What happens?
Title - It's Not Easy Being
Me
Author - Ashlee
E-mail address - zyp959@hotmail.com
Rating - PG (language)
Category - Vignette
Series/Sequel - Nope
Spoilers - N/A
Summary - Lyle is having computer troubles
"It's
Not Easy Being Me"
by Ashlee
You know, being evil isn't easy, and it seems that no one can appreciate this concept. I mean, look at what an evil person must do. They have to find an arch nemesis with whom they have to create a sort of rapport, and then once they have gotten the hatred out of the way they must both create and foil plans. Then, as if that weren't enough, they have to keep up this evil facade even when it no longer rings true just to "look good". Like I said it is very hard work, especially when the world is your arch nemesis.
So anyway, today I was sitting at my desk, filling out some paperwork, which unfortunately seems to go with everything that happens at the Centre, when Boots or Broots or whatever the hell his name is walks into my office, head down, and drops a piece of paper on my desk. I watch him silently as he walks out. Hmmm…my sister's little minion coming to drop things off to me, odd. But me being the trusting sort, I didn't think any more of it. Maybe sister dear had found out something about Jarod and just didn't feel like conversing with me. So I open the paper and find a computer disk inside. On the paper was written "19631970 SL20 1967".
I shrug off the note for the moment and shove the disk into the computer that sits upon my desk. I start to run the program, and a little screen pops up.
"Enter Access Code, Classified".
I look at the paper and smile, see I'm not completely incompetent, a cannibal maybe, but not stupid. I type in the access code and wait….nothing seems to happen for a few minutes, and then my screen flashes, and up pops up another little screen. "Downloading and Sending Centre Mainframe Files…Please Stand By".
"Mother fucker, what the hell?" I yell, hitting keys frantically trying to stop the program, but nothing is working, not one damn thing. By the time I think to unplug my computer the download and sending process has been completed. I lay on the ground, next to the outlet shocked as the alarms sound all around me. I can't even think enough to run. Everything that the Centre had on file somewhere on the mainframe was just sent out to some mysterious entity and all because I was a dumb ass and stupidly put a disk in my computer from one of my most grotesque enemies. I was still lying there when the Cleaners came for me.
So now I'm sitting in Renewal Wing with absolutely no hope. I keep telling them about what Boots, or Broots…what that stupid son of a bitch did, that he gave me that disk, but they say I'm lying, that I programmed the disk and ran it. Now why the hell would I do that? Huh? The Centre is the only job where you get commended for being evil, so why would I give that up? Besides I barely know how to turn on my computer much less program a disk to download and send off things. I guess I should be flattered by their over confidence in my abilities, but when you're looking Dr. William Raines in the eye and you can see those sick sadistic thoughts running through his head, and you know that they're about you, well let's just say you wouldn't be gitty with flattery either. Not to mention I'm barely sitting on my chair, which I'm tied to thank you very much, and bleeding from multiple cuts that were inflicted trying to get the "truth" from me. No, it's not easy being evil, and it's even worse when you get beat out by some goat sucking wench and her yes-men. Add on top of that the fact that she's my sister and I look like the most pitiful evil guy *ever*. It's not easy being me, but believe you me, once I get out of here, and I will, she's going to pay. Like they say, revenge is a dish best served cold….
What did you think?? Liked it, loved it, hated it so much you were thinking about framing it and giving it to your mother-in-law? Let me know at : zyp959@hotmail.com