Disclaimer: Yeah, so I don't own them. I would have you know. Yeah, if you hadn't been lucky and gotten that deal from TNT you would have taken my 50 bucks. In fact you would have *begged* me! That's right!
Author's Note: Response to the weekly challenge: Use the words CENTRE, SWEEPER, SAVIOUR, PRINCESS, DREAM, DEAD, MIRROR and RABBIT to write a fairy tale. Begin with the words "Once upon a time…"
Okay where this came from I'll never know. I guess Habib just decided to work his Muse magic <g> Okay I have people in mind for most characters so I'll tell you who they are:
Narrator: Steven Long Mitchell
Prince Jarod: Jarod (duh!)
Wise Man: Craig W. VanSickle
Sweeper One: Ghar
Sweeper Two: Sam
Princess Parker: Miss Parker
Well Onto the story……
Title -Predictors of
our Future
Author - Ashlee
E-mail address - zyp959@hotmail.com
Rating - PG
Category - I'm not sure there is one for this
Series/Sequel - nope
Spoilers - JAROD'S WEARING TIGHTS!!! oh, wait you mean spoilers from the show,
don't you? Well, there's none of those.
Summary - Are dreams really predictors of our future?
"Predictors
of our Future"
By Ashlee
"Once upon a time…"
"Who the hell is that?" I ask looking around desperately. The surroundings are completely unfamiliar. I'm standing on a dirt road surrounded by forest. Ahead I can see the roofs of houses made of…hay? And still further ahead stands a magnificent castle.
"Do you mind?" Comes a deep, irritated voice. I spin around looking for a man, but don't find one and as far as I can tell the voice is coming from every direction. "I'm trying to tell a story here and you and your interruptions aren't helping to set the mood."
"I'm sorry?" It wasn't supposed to be a question, but it sounded that way.
"Right, anyway," continued the voice. It cleared it's throat and talked in a deeper voice. "Once upon a time there was a tall, dark, and mysterious prince traveling from a far away land looking for the hand of a PRINCESS, and he had his eye on the most beautiful one of all the land; Princess Parker who lived in CENTREtown. Determined to take her hand Prince Jarod walked vigorously down the road."
Still confused I stood frozen, intrigued by the story being told to me…until the voice nearly caused me to piss my pants when it yelled at me.
"If you're going to be a part of this story the very least you could do is play your part! Everyone is watching you for Christ's sake!"
"Wha?" Then it hits me to look down at my clothes. What the hell am I doing wearing white leotards? Oh shit, that's not even the worst part. I have one of those ruffled medieval shirts on with brown knee-length pants and these dumb ass black shoes that make me look like a freak – well I guess the leotards do more damage. Ah hell. "What the hell is going on?"
"You're part of this story so start following my instructions! March!"
I start to walk towards the castle that he mentioned and listened in order catch my directions.
"Continuing, Prince Jarod walked brusquely down the road until he came to the edge of Centretown. There he met a hunched over man."
"Hello sonny, I'm the wise man of this town, and I know what you're here for."
I blinked at how fast this had happened. One minute I was at least a mile outside of town the next a man is in front of me and I'm standing at the edge of the town. I blink and play along before the voice yells at me again.
"I'm looking to take the hand of the fair princess who lives in the castle."
"I know that! Didn't I just tell you I knew that?" The man nearly yelled, shaking his cane at me. As he set it down I swear I heard him mumble 'punk'.
"Sorry sir."
"You'd damn well better be sorry young man. Kids these days, sheesh. I'm the old wise man of this town, here to offer up advice."
I continue cautiously.
"I don't suppose you have some words of wisdom for me?"
"I'm a wise man therefore all my words are wise you dumb schmuck." I realize now that I should just shut up and go with it. After calming a bit the man continued. "Your trek will not be one of ease. You'll come across some obstacles, the most difficult being the SWEEPERS."
"Brooms?" The word is out of my mouth before I can stop it. I literally have to stop myself from hitting my forehead at the stupidity I just demonstrated.
"Sweepers are guards! Are you completely incompetent?" The man looked up at the sky and yelled at the voice. "Why the hell is he in this story? He doesn't know what he's doing and he's ruining everything!"
The voice from above boomed it's response.
"To hell if I know! The casting director sent him and that was that. They said it was him or nothing."
The wise man lowered his head and shook it.
"Shit. Fine let's get this over with. You will have to get around the sweepers, guards for you, you incompetent twit, by using your wits. God help us all. And you'll have to win the Princesses heart. I recommend a RABBIT as a gift; she seems to be fond of them. Here." A rabbit suddenly appeared in his arms and he shoved it into mine. "Then you'll have to escape the castle without her father catching you."
I nod.
"Okay."
"Okay?! God, you're gunna get creamed!" The old man turned his back on me and walked back into his house mumbling to himself.
I shrug and continue towards the castle as the deep voice once again fills the air.
"Prince Jarod, heeding the wise man's words, walked towards the castle, weary of the Sweepers that are sure to be lurking." I look around cautiously, following the voice's cues. "As he walked to the drawbridge Prince Jarod was approached by one of the aforementioned Sweepers."
"What are you doing here?"
I looked at the extremely buff man before me and muster all of my courage.
"I'm here to bring the Princess a gift. I won't be here for her birthday and I'd hate to disrespect her in such a way." I swallow hard.
After giving me the once over about three times the guard nodded and let me pass.
"After getting past the Sweeper, Prince Jarod, feeling quite confident now, walked pointedly into the castle bearing the gift, but not the knowledge of where the Princesses room was located because the stupid fool forgot to ask where it was."
Realizing my mistake my confidence slowly began to deflate, until I spotted another Sweeper in the corner of the room.
"Excuse me," I start and get his attention, "I came to give the Princess a gift, but can't seem to find her room, could you give me directions?"
"Sure. Second floor third door on the left."
"Thanks," I say and walk away smirking.
"Okay so he thought to ask another guard, but that doesn't make him a genius…well he is a genius. I think I forgot to mention that. Yes, Prince Jarod was indeed a genius; he just tended not to use his common sense. Anyway, Prince Jarod followed the guard's instructions and was soon standing outside the fair Princesses room. He knocked and waited for the answer."
"Enter." Came a woman's voice through the door, so I followed her instructions. As I walked in the woman inside turned and there stood the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. She had the longest black hair, the most seductive eyes and a gloriously curved body. I gaped openly until she asked me, "Who are you?"
"I, uh, I'm Prince Jarod, here to give you a gift from the heart." I produce the rabbit from behind my back and hold it out in front of me so she could see it. The glowing excitement in her eyes makes it all worth while, even being yelled at from the heavens.
"Oh it's wonderful!" She exclaimed as she took it from me and held it close. "Thank you so much!" She came and kissed me on my cheek, catching me off guard in that oh so pleasant way.
"There's something else."
"What?" She asks, looking away from her rabbit.
"Well," I pause and then decide to throw it to the wind. I get down on one knee and look up into her shining eyes. "Will you marry me?"
She paused for a moment and then a smile spread over her face.
"My SAVIOUR!" She yelled as she jumped into my open arms and hugged me vigorously. "You've come to save me from this awful place!"
"Uh, right, came to save you." I reply as I hug her back.
"As the two hugged, a man walked down the hall. The Princesses father had heard his daughter yell, and had come to investigate. As he slammed open his daughter's door, he was surprised to find her in the arms of a strange man."
"What's going on here?" The man in the doorway bellowed.
Shocked I pulled away from Parker's embrace.
"Daddy," she gasped.
"Daddy?" I asked, sounding confused.
"Get your hands off my daughter this instant!"
"I'm marrying him Daddy, you have no say. I've already given my word."
"You'll marry him over my DEAD body! Now step away from this mongrel before I ban you to the tower."
"No Daddy! I love him!"
"What?" Come my voice along with her father's.
"You've known him three minutes, how can you possibly love him?"
"I..I'm not sure but I do!"
"Thinking quickly, Prince Jarod decided to take action and save the woman that he loved. He grabbed a MIRROR from the wall on his left and used it to knock the King out. He then grabbed his bride-to-be's hand and together they raced out of the castle, the sweepers unable to stop them. And all though they were sure to be chased after for the rest of their lives, they were blissfully happy to the point that it was nauseating."
***
I sit up slowly in bed, rubbing my sleep spiked hair and look around the hotel room. Then I look down to see what I'm wearing. No shirt. I lift the covers, plaid boxers. Good sign. At least it's not white leotards. I run my hand over my stubble and shake my head.
"Now that was one messed up DREAM!" I climb slowly out of bed and decide to write this down and send it to Parker. I can only imagine her reaction, and it makes my smirk grow into a smile that covers my face. Isn't it said that dreams are predictors of our future? I shake my head again and sit down to write.