| The Squashed LR Chap. 1-Lioness from Tortall Alanna: What does this map say? Nahom Jendrai: It shows where to find the Dominion Jewel Alanna: Cool Liam: Hey sexy Alanna: I think I'm in love... Chap. 2-The Road East Alanna: We're going to find the Dominion Jewel. Wanna come? Liam: Sure Alanna: Oh yeah I have the Gift Liam: Eeek!! (hides in fear) Buri: All right, weapons down, hands up! Chap. 3-The Warlord's Daughter Thayet: Hi. I'm sexy and people keep trying to kill me Alanna: We're not trying to kill you. Come w/ us. Thayet & Buri: Ok Daughter of the Goddess: Thayet, your father is dead! Thayet: Eh....oh well Chap. 4-The Roof of the World Alanna: Fuck! There's a huge blizzard! Liam: Don't go to get the jewel. Alanna: Too bad. I'm going anyway. Hey Chitral, gimme that jewel!! Chitral: Ok (gives Alanna the jewel) Alanna: Ok. Time to go home Chap. 5-In the Capital of Tortall Jon: My parents are dead & I'm king now George: People keep trying to kill me Claw: Remember me? (attempts to kill George) Roger: I'm BACK!!!!!!!! Thom: I don't feel so good Chap. 6-Homecoming Alanna: Jonny, I'm home!! Jon: Welcome back Thayet: Hey sexy... Myles: Everything's going to hell here. Roger's back, Ralon is disguised as a thief named Claw, Jon's got to be coronated, and I'm in love w/ George's mother!! Alanna: Can't I leave you people alone for a second?? Chap. 7-Period of Mourning Jon: Will you be my Champion? Alanna: Sure Jon: Will you become a spy & let me ennoble you? George: Sure Delia & Josiane: We're still evil sluts!! Chap. 8-Crossroad in Time Rebel People: Attack!!!! (a huge earthquake happens) Alanna: Shit! Now I gotta kill Roger Thom: Roger stole my Gift! (dies) (Alanna kills Josiane & Alex) Roger: MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! Alanna: Die again, bitch!!! (kills roger) Epilogue Thayet: I'm marrying Jon Myles: I'm marrying George's mommy. Liam: I'm dead Alanna: I'm marrying George George: I love you |