"TRAPED LIKE RATS...IN A CHIA PET" (reviewed by AX)

You know, man...I don't know if I was just in la-la land or what when I watched MEN IN BLACK II, but for some reason it kinda just whisked right by, barely fazing me. It's not that MIB2 is a crappy movie. No way in hell. Everything is in place: great special effects, awesome camera work, solid acting, and a story that...uh, ok. Now I've got it. It's the story of MIB2 that's weak. Yes! Thank you. This movie is entertaining, but the plot itself doesn't quite grip you enough. It's like you're just watching another episode of some big-budget kids show.

If you've seen the previews for MEN IN BLACK II, you know basically everything about the movie, as the film is just about as empty as the quickly-edited bits from the trailer. It picks up 5 years after the events from the original, where we find agent Jay (played by Will "I don't have a license but I drive very well" Smith) has quickly risen as one of the MIB's top agents. He's going through the motions of his daily alien-ass-kicking routines and shit, but something's missing. He has no love in his life, because the job kinda necessitates that you be anonymous. So when a pretty girl (played by Rosario "Fuck you if you didn't like JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS" Dawson) witnesses an alien attack, Jay decides not to zap her with the neuralizer, a little device that erases people's memories. He's like, in love with her and stuff. Turns out that love does play a big part in the story of MIB2, problem is that they don't really develop any characters well enough to where you invest any emotions in them. When the MIB headquarters is taken over by a vengeful alien (played by Lara Flynn "I disappear when I stand behind a stop sign" Boyle), agent Kay (Tommy Lee "Dew" Jones) must be de-neuralized and brought back on as an agent. Yadda yadda yadda.

So I wasn't really gripped by the story. But you know Will Smith is funny, and on the whole MIB2 is funnier than the original. Tommy Lee Jones is awesome, so is Frank the talking pug. And yes, the special effects kick some ass (I noticed the back of Rick Baker's head in one scene). But compared to other movies this summer like SPIDER MAN and MINORITY REPORT, this movie is just kind of there. It's the complete opposite of STAR WARS EPISODE 2, really. It has great acting & it's very funny, but the story just doesn't grab you. Perhaps it was somewhat confusing. I remember at one point, they actually go over the back story behind the aliens TWICE just so we can keep up with what's happening. There were also many many gaps where certain subplots are just kinda forgotten about. I was like, "oh yeah, the entire MIB headquarters is still overrun with aliens. I forgot". Nothing new is really added to the series either. Just more of the same. The sucky part was that I really like Rosario Dawson, I wish they'd have spent more time on her character. She's very very important to the plot, yet we never really know her.

Ok, I'm done. You know I rarely ever complain about movies because normally I like what I see. I make great choices. But sometimes you just get left with the feeling that some movies were done for money and not because there was more to say with the characters. Generally sequels should try their best to top the original, and MIB2 doesn't really even try. I'll go see an MIB3 if they make it, because I like Sonnenfeld as a director and the MIB films are entertaining. I just hope they can make a more involving story next time. Watching MIB2 was just weird because I seemed to forget everything almost as soon as it happened. Nothing very memorable took place. Then again, I'm one of the few people who thought that WILD WILD WEST was an incredible film. So fuck me, right?

(7.7.02)