"THIS SUMMER, EVERYBODY GETS THE RUNS" (reviewed by AX)

When I was sitting in my theater seat watching this movie, I was thinking "holy fucking shit this movie rules!" the whole time. I guess the last time I was really blown away by any sci-fi was when I went to see THE MATRIX for the 1st time. MINORITY REPORT is gonna be the movie to beat as far as this year goes. It was fucking incredible. About 30 minutes in, I knew I was watching a classic. Something that's still gonna kick ass in 20 years. I defy anyone to say this movie sucks.

In the year 2054, the city of Washington DC has solved its rampant homicide problem by implementing a "pre-crime" unit to its law enforcement program. It works like this: three humans called "pre-cogs" are kept at the headquarters. Due to a birth defect (a result of their parents' drug use), the pre-cogs are able to see murders before they happen. Using an elaborate computer system, the pre-crime unit can identify the individuals who are gonna commit the crime and arrest them before it happens. As a result, hardly anyone kills anyone because they know they'll get caught before they do it. Premeditated homicides are pretty much a thing of the past in DC. Sounds great, until the pre-crime unit's chief officer John Anderton (played by Tom "Maverick" Cruise) comes up on the computer. That's right, the pre-cogs say he's gonna kill someone. What the fuck???

So John goes on the lam, trying to evade capture by his own squad and uncovering what the hell happened. The plot alone is cool enough. Part sci-fi, part film noir, part action thriller. Shit.

Let me tell you, this motherfucker has the works. It was expertly made by Steven Spielberg (fuck you, I loved A.I. by the way), who apparently understands how to make computer-generated effects look awesome on screen. He also takes several cues from Paul Verhoeven's 80's films like ROBOCOP and TOTAL RECALL, which made me smile like a bastard. A guy chases his own eyeballs as they roll around on the floor. A cop is shocked by a stun device and projectile-vomits all over another officer. And everything is blue, gray, and black. People that think BLADE RUNNER is a classic can add MINORITY REPORT to that short list (along with Verhoeven's shit). The cool thing is, Steve doesn't let the effects take prescedent over the story (see: STAR WARS EPISODE 2) or act as a replacement for great acting (see: STAR WARS EPISODE 2).

And holy fuck, the action sequences blew me away. The part where John gets chased by the cops on the jet packs, god damn. It was intense and funny at the same time. The movie maintains humor throughout at the appropriate times. And there's a chase scene on an assembly line that echoes the one in EPISODE 2, but has the coolest payoff ending in years. I just sat there with my mouth open, going "whoever thought that shit up is a genius".

I feel like Hollywood has a responsibility to give us more movies like this. I mean, they got millions of dollars. Special effects have taken asounding leaps just in the last 10 years. And we've got incredibly talented actors, directors, editors and cinematographers. How come a true classic only comes along every few years? These guys can do amazing shit if they really want to; MINORITY REPORT is evidence of that. It's gonna age really well, and I can't say that for too many movies I've seen lately. Sure, movies need to be entertaining. But they also need to have some depth, some humanity. I know where to find great fart jokes if I want them. And I also know where to see some big titties and gory-ass zombies if I need those. But Hollywood has piles of cash and experience. They should do this shit more often. What's wrong with good storytelling? MINORITY REPORT is based on an old Phillip K. Dick story I believe. So don't write new stupid shit if there's tons of great old stories to tell. Ya know? Make STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND if you need to. Or re-make I AM LEGEND once again. You got the dough.

Go see this motherfucker. It's up there with all the best sci-fi ever done.

(6.23.02)