"GOOD GOD, WE'RE GOING TO BLOW UP!" (reviewed by AX)

This movie has quickly become one of the most hated movies around, and will likely stand alongside some of the biggest bombs in history. Reviewers have called it everything from "ISHTAR in space" to "Leonard Part 7", and I have yet to see a single review that takes pity on it.

But I didn't read any of these reviews before I saw PLUTO NASH. In fact, I'd been looking forward to it since last year, when I first saw previews for it. I wondered if it was ever going to come out. Now I know why it took so long to get released.

Now normally, I like the stuff that people usually hate. I love SHOWGIRLS and BARB WIRE and STRIPTEASE and G.I. JANE and IDLE HANDS, not to mention countless others. But indeed, PLUTO NASH sucks. I'm sorry to say that it has no appeal, not even a "cheesy b-movie" type of appeal.

Eddie Murphy plays an ex-con smuggler who becomes a successful nightclub owner on the moon (which resembles a futuristic Las Vegas, somehwere between TOTAL RECALL and A.I.), but finds himself in deep shit when he refuses to sell his joint to the mob. He spends the rest of the movie running from gangsters, trying to find the big guy who's behind it all.

I just don't get it. This movie looks very expensive, is well-shot and has great special effects. It has Eddie Murphy and Randy Quaid (who plays Pluto's android bodyguard), two of the funniest people in movie history. That's a proven fact. Plus, it has Rosario Dawson and Pam Grier, two very fine ladies who definitely have the acting chops it takes to be female leads in a space-comedy. So what the fuck??? Well, I'll tell you. This movie just isn't funny. The jokes are lame and I didn't laugh once. It wouldn't even be funny to little kids. I was amazed. The story was okay, but I just couldn't believe I wasn't laughing. Eddie wasn't funny. Honestly, I wanted to cry. It sucked and it sucked hard.

Now I know why Warner Brothers kept this movie on the shelf for so long, and why they didn't do any screenings prior to its release. I think they knew it sucked. I wonder how much money they lost.

(8.27.02)