"You waste our film!" (reviewed by AX)

I go see Jackie Chan movies because I know he will never let me down. We all know what to expect, and yet still we are wowed by the man's amazing stunt work and irresistable comedic charm. I wasn't disappointed by THE TUXEDO by a longshot, but it's nothing compared to RUSH HOUR or SHANGHAI NOON, his other recent American films.

Jackie plays an expert cab driver named Jimmy who is hired by James Bond-like secret agent Clark Devlin to be his personal limo driver. Turns out, Devlin's special tuxedo is the secret to his success. It's a multi-million dollar gadget invented by scientists, and it does all kinds of cool shit (kinda like Inspector Gadget's coat or Batman's belt, only better). Anyway, shit gets fucked up and Devlin gets put in the hospital, leaving Jimmy to assume the secret agent's identity. That means Jimmy wears the tuxedo and kicks ass in a funny way, like Jackie Chan always does. Fighting crime, whatever.

Jimmy gets partnered up with an agent named Del, played by actor/singer Jennifer Love Hewitt, and you got instant movie. Love does a lot of impressive wire-kung fu stuff, has some funny lines, and is a neat counterpart for Chan. Why they always insist on making her look like she has big breasts is beyond me, I just don't understand. You see her in movies like CAN'T HARDLY WAIT, I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER, and HEARTBREAKERS, and you'd think she was a D or a large C. They probably give her those jelly things or a wonder bra, I don't know. All I know is it's not amusing anymore. She's a small girl, she has small breasts, deal with it so we can move on with her acting.

The plot has something to do with a guy trying to poison the world's water supply so he can monopolize the bottled water industry, I'm a bit foggy on the details. Pretty much, you're going to see a lot of funny and amazing shit from Chan as usual, plus a cameo by James Brown the "Godfather Of Soul". Seeing Jackie sing "Sex Machine" and do all Brown's dance moves is pretty damn cool all by itself, but this movie has a lot of neat special effects at the end too.

It hit me while watching this in the theater that Jackie Chan movies really do appeal to a wide range of people. Little kids love him, black folks love him, and whiteys like me love him. He's got the shit on lock and you gotta respect a man for that. I'll be in the seats as long as he's making movies.

(10.6.02)